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Oh blissful happiness,
upon whose paths only the innocent walk
until some evil spirit rends their hopes
and casts them off - where children dance
and the fool walks in a trance!
I have heard the devils talk
The way they ****** one into an act
and then mock without end,
and there's no going back!
They tell you about liberty, how you are free
until you bend and succumb to misery
Though wise, I was unable to discern
hypocrisy and the hypocrite
until recently, when I learned
they just want you to share their agonizing fate!
Oh mercy,
I thought no ill could come upon me,
and I would rise above any predicament
Woe is me!
How could I have known about the inner plague
that comes with every thought
of choosing instead of love, something worse
and doubting the laws of the universe!
By the time I saw, it was already too late
too much time has passed,
and vengeance had decided my fate
I seek revenge over mercy,
thus barring me from my own happy state
How quickly a happy heart can turn into hate,
and love into pain!
I want to retire to the womb from which I was born
from which I was torn, and pretend
to have not seen anything at all
I deny the ones I loved
and had compassion for - no more!
There's only bitterness left,
and no comforter in the world before me
for I reject simple joy and correction
for hard-hearted wrath against my oppressors
Another night
Another ******
One person defines
An entire gender
In my room I hide
I hate womankind
Yet how I long
To sleep
By your side
Eyes open wide
Spiritually blind
I just see your name
Reminds how I cried
In pain over our corpse
The day we both died
Now I must sigh
And utter goodbye
Cannot be mended
No one can fix it
Might as well be blended
To play games with the heart
Deserves a punishment hard
To take what was love
And simply discard
It hurts the daughters
It haunts the sons
Broken hearts
Spiritually done
The heart breaks but once
After that it's gone
Torn apart
Eternally wronged
But woe to the one
The breaker of hearts
The player of games
To hell they depart
SleepEasy May 29
My faith tells me to hold on
while at the same time to let go
My faith tells me to love my neighbour
yet most people will burn forever
My blackened heart is against these teachings
It burns hotter and hotter
I can't let control freaks command me
Or I'll be another sheep for the slaughter
I hate my sister and brother
I hate my father and mother
The world has nothing to offer
I hate this place
I hate this place
I don't belong
My flesh is weak but my spirit is strong
The world has it backwards
The soul is at the centre of the body
All these practitioners
Mental health doctors are liars
For they say the brain is at the command
When in fact it is the soul
I don't have a soul - I am one!
Though the soul rides on obedience
And these people are out of control
SleepEasy May 28
In silence I recall my name
I look down at my feet and grass
With hope not to fail
This crossroad I must pass
Where illusion and confusion reign
I look up in paleness
The rope my cross and nails
I used to be alive
Unburdened by the grave
I was one of the ocean's sails
Wind caressed my skin
Sunlight filled my eyes
So careless I used to be
Now I'm trying to control
Going against the flow
The wind rages against me
Trying to save my soul
It must be one of fate's ironies
They say I have to die to myself
To rise and be reborn
In death I lose myself
And then my sorrow ends
SleepEasy May 12
Sifting memories through a mesh
Trying to clean my mind like a litter box
Until all that remains is fresh
Still I haven't learned what to do
With the *** and the poo
I tried throwing my own crap at it
I tried swallowing it
I even tried to sit on it
No matter what I do I can't discard it
There is no trash bin that will erase it
I suppose I have to work with it
SleepEasy May 10
Taught to surrender
Forced to submit
By a raised hand
Threatening to hit
I wait and I wait
For someone to come
Tell me what to do
And call me dumb
I may have escaped
Times may have changed
But the mentality stayed
I live life numb
And play dead
Waiting for someone to come
To ruin my day
I pray and I pray
Ah Lord why
Am I attacked in the night
By visions and fright
Is it because during the day
I forget to walk in the light?
I feel disarmed
Yet still forced to fight
Enduring the strife
With an aching mind
And a knife in my back
For the horrors of sight
Which I witnessed in plight
Do grind me down
Yet I ain't blind
I'll be all right
For I am kind
And compassionate to others...

I need time to unwind
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