You fill my heart
And other things
And make me feel
Like I have wings
And when you spin me around on the dance floor
I fly

Emotionally exhausted.
My thoughts have officially lost it.
I found my goals and mapped it.
Discovered my pain and masked it.

Lost my soul, and I'm stuck here.
Trapped without it.
I'm running all these miles on manipulation.
Not a moment of hesitation.

Riled up lionhearts.
Dashing into every darts.
It's my gun and, I keep jumping into all of this.
This is a mess, a puzzle that nobody can solve.

My heart is addicted to this pain.
There is no way to stop it.
Running all these signs.
Racing all these lights.

No doubt about it, it's definite now.
Full-forced through the windshield.
I don't like the cards I was dealt.
Waiting it out, playing every card.

Desperate for a win.
Seal up the doors, don't let the devil in.
He's coming to collect me for my sins.
I have collected one too many sins.

My shots are just hitting the rims.
And I keep shooting.
I'm still losing, and I choose to keep on.
I'm far beyond exhausted.

All of it's costing me too much.
Losing it all in the hopes of getting everything I have ever wanted.
Daunted by my demons.
And I'm haunted by feelings.

I keep trying to find my meaning, so desperate for any type of reason.
To keep on despite all these dealings.
Concealing all of this. Shielding all of this.
Just by breathing.

Sweet words are nothing.
Words so empty, and fruitless.
No "sweetheart" will fix it.

How can your words still hurt me?
After all, you deserted me.
Time and, time again.

Do you feel like a man?
With my clothes tossed in trash bags.
When you're tossing me out, like the garbage you never throw out.

Do you feel like the man?
When you scream my worthless life lies in your hands.
Wrecking every defense I have put up.

How dare you wonder why I'm so messed up?
Jumping at every shout.
The shivers when I greet authority.

The name calling never gets old.
The words ring in my head like a catchy song.
The shouts echo in my brain.

You wanted to break me.
Wounding me so emotionally.
Scarring me like a ghost haunting me.

Don't try and play daddy.
Now that I have disappointed you.
You're too late.

Remember when you told me?
How you hoped I ended up in a wooden crate.
That's the night you really left me.

Do you feel like the man now?

Alow her open pinion's
I glanced aloft mine
View;

Her nimbus was lit
And around her Lip's:
Heaven's color's
Renewed.

O' the strap's from mine feet
Were removed, as I fell
Back in awe and
Wonder.

I remember the day
I saw her face, the innocence
Of God, the beauty and
Splendor.

Into her tropical gates
I entered yonder;

She gave me her love
As tis her love I took shelter.

Mine darling, mine lass; O'
Best friend, mine helper;

What wouldst I do, without
Thee mine Muse;

What wouldst I do;
O' what wouldst I
Do.

©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Earl Jane Sardua nagley dedicated( agapi mou)

along the gap road
wattles are sprouting their blooms
bright yellow baubles