If there was one word
One word, isolated by itself
That I cannot stand above all others
It would have to be "Okay"
I despise "Okay"
"Okay"
Is how your millionth day at work went
"Okay"
Is off-brand raisin bran
"Okay"
Is how you say life is going
When you don't want to admit you spend
Every second of it
Wanting to die

"Okay"
Is packed to the brim with
Hidden implications
Like a treasure chest
Filled with bottles
With little subliminal hatreds
Written on tiny slips of paper
Passively aggressively pushed inside
To discover later
As I pull out a treasure map
And try to decipher
Where I went wrong

"Okay"
Is a one word dismissal
That feels like an essay a thousand pages long
"Okay"
Is a poison dripping with disinterest
When I dared to share with you
Something I thought might make you smile
"Okay"
Is like trying to talk to a wall
While watching the paint on it dry
"Okay"
Takes two seconds to write
Yet I waited days
For that dreaded word
To grace my notifications
"Okay"
Should be used sparingly
As if each time you send it
You **** the receiver just a little bit
"Okay"
Should not be said so often that
I know what you're about to say
Like I saw it in a crystal ball
"Okay"
Is not looking up from your phone
When I tell you about my day
"Okay"
Is not the proper response
To "I love you"

They say that the opposite of love isn't hatred
It's indifference
And I can't think of a response
More indifferent to pouring out
My heart into your hands
Than "Okay"
At least the last thing you said to me
Before we parted ways
Showed that you cared
At least a little bit
"I hate you"
Stung less
Than the thousands of times
Over our countless conversations
You responded
"Okay"
Okay?

Just laying there , knowing you’re awake but feeling asleep
You feel suction cupped to your bed by your blankets
Your pillow slowly accumulating moisture from sweating
Your dreams alive but reality won’t let you accept it
Both eyes closed but there’s only one possibly peeled
You might sleep with your third eye open too ..

I don't feel that happy anymore
even when I should.
Does that mean, I'm actually not that sad
or these symptoms are really that bad.

I don't understand that much
in situation as good as such,
I smile to make it look I'm fine
and slowly I pine
to feel carefree.

Is it that I'm aware
this is happiness in just looks,
inside it is all hollow
nothing in mouth to swallow.

The way it use to be
nervous to lonely
the open door
only takes me to hell.

I'm familiar to this feeling
slowly growing on my skin
I keep chewing to the bitterness
which is coming to throw me off guard
because in the end it is how it will end.