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Talia Reyes Mar 2020
I have no outlet
I have no place to run
No one to talk to
No one to hug

I feel so alone now
Just myself and the trees
And though they’re alive
They’ll say nothing to me

I feel like I’m filling
Up, up to my top
I feel like I’m full
But the filling won’t stop

I just want a friend
I can talk to with ease
I can say anything to
Anything that I please

But instead I’m alone
And I fill myself up
With words and feelings
I want to speak but cannot

Instead I have no one
Just myself and the trees
And though they’re alive
They say nothing for me
  Feb 2019 Talia Reyes
If there was one word
One word, isolated by itself
That I cannot stand above all others
It would have to be "Okay"
I despise "Okay"
Is how your millionth day at work went
Is off-brand raisin bran
Is how you say life is going
When you don't want to admit you spend
Every second of it
Wanting to die

Is packed to the brim with
Hidden implications
Like a treasure chest
Filled with bottles
With little subliminal hatreds
Written on tiny slips of paper
Passively aggressively pushed inside
To discover later
As I pull out a treasure map
And try to decipher
Where I went wrong

Is a one word dismissal
That feels like an essay a thousand pages long
Is a poison dripping with disinterest
When I dared to share with you
Something I thought might make you smile
Is like trying to talk to a wall
While watching the paint on it dry
Takes two seconds to write
Yet I waited days
For that dreaded word
To grace my notifications
Should be used sparingly
As if each time you send it
You **** the receiver just a little bit
Should not be said so often that
I know what you're about to say
Like I saw it in a crystal ball
Is not looking up from your phone
When I tell you about my day
Is not the proper response
To "I love you"

They say that the opposite of love isn't hatred
It's indifference
And I can't think of a response
More indifferent to pouring out
My heart into your hands
Than "Okay"
At least the last thing you said to me
Before we parted ways
Showed that you cared
At least a little bit
"I hate you"
Stung less
Than the thousands of times
Over our countless conversations
You responded
Talia Reyes Feb 2019
Someone is stabbing my chest.
Anxiety in its finest, it never does rest.

All it does is just count my regrets.
I’m overwhelmed by the past, I just want to forget.

Please, just take me away.
Promise you’ll leave. Please, don’t promise you’ll stay.

You know it’s the truth, you know you’ll leave.
And it’s me who will suddenly stop to believe.

You can’t do this to me.
Having me dream of everything that we could be.

I’m falling apart, you’re my every need.
Weeds choking me out, and you planted the seed.

Please, save me from this.
Don’t allow me to live to know an everlasting bliss.

Instead of saving me, you’ll **** my heart and my soul.
Then cover me in dirt after I’ve fallen in your hole.

I’ve fell to your traps, you conniving crook.
I should’ve know that your smile was the greatest hook.

Drawing me closer to you, more then more,
Til suddenly it’s only you I’ll adore.

You’re a heart and soul thief.
Goodbye to my being, hello to the grief.

The grief of our lost existence,
But of course, I’ll still love you with persistence.

Who said love is fair?
To love, I don’t matter. No, love doesn’t care.

All you do to me is take,
And your love for me is fake.

It’s a disguise.
Now I’m stuck here staring at your eyes.

In admiration,
Or should I say, it’s devastation.

I’m devastated,
But as much as I want to, I can’t look at you with hatred.

I guess falling to my knees for you was merely my fate.
And I can’t try to escape, for I fear it’s much too late.

— The End —