i want to be perfect
not as in the most beautiful woman
or having the ideal body shape
but as in being the best person
the one people can confide in
and take for long drives  
the person people want to live their lives with
i want to be funny
not just by making jokes
but by spreading laughter and causing smiles
the type of person you could talk about for miles
someone who is the reason for your happiness
i want to be caring
not just asking about your day or your family
but someone who just knows what to say and instantly brightens your day
a person who knows how to make you laugh so hard you cry
but also knows how to make you smile when tears have been falling from your eyes
the person who will always understand
and will never leave your side
no matter what
will be your ride or die
i want to be enough
i want to be there when things get tough
the type of person who you could never picture your life without
the type of person who without a doubt
is your person
i want to be everything you need
everything your expectations exceed
i want to be anything but me

please don’t touch me
she said looking at the floor
because while it may seem like no big deal to you
to her, your hands feel like bugs crawling beneath her skin
invading the comfort of her own body
please don’t kiss me
she whispered turning away
because even though she is in a relationship with you
consent still needs to be renewed
like vows to keep each other safe
from the demons of assault
please don’t force me
she begged as she laid beneath you
because a woman is taught that her clothes can’t be too revealing
and her smile can’t be too friendly
instead of teaching men that **** is horrible and no means no
please don’t push someone for ***
because ****** assault is not always a drug induced nightmare or a physical force holding you down
it can be the manipulation or the bribing
the begging or the crying
please don’t forget
it’s not just about ***
it’s about who is in control
and who is controlled
the owner and the object
we are all equals
it’s time to treat us as such

tick, tick, tick
goes the clock
so I turn and turn
but nothing feels right
1, 2, 3am again
just me, alone with my thoughts
the world is silent and still
except for my lonely friend
at least the clock never sleeps
maybe it’s better this way
when I close my eyes my thoughts fill with you
the way you smiled at me
and put your arms around my waist
the way you held my face between your hands
as if I was the last thing you were ever going to touch
but I turned away, for just a moment
and you were gone
and then I remember that you’re never coming back
so I stay awake
because at least when I’m awake
the memories don’t feel as real
I can even push them out
maybe if I drown you in tequila
or smother you with vicodin
I can forget you one day
maybe I can get some sleep
one day

it’s torture
it feels like screaming at the top of your lungs
but you are in an isolation room
white walls, empty echoes
or like you’re gasping for air
but you are being dragged under water
suffocating darkness, deep abyss
i just want to be heard
i just want to be understood

Maybe one day someone will use their lips
To write messages of love on my body
Instead of having to take a razor myself
To carve the deep messages of self hatred

Maybe one day someone will be my canvas
To cover in my confusing feelings
Or maybe they will be absorbed

Love is abstract
It’s hard to know what it really is
Maybe it’s truly different to everyone

Love is art
But I am a struggling artist

She is fire
Her auburn locks bounce around like the flicker of a lighter
She burns
Her eyes ignite with the passion of a raging wildfire
She crackles
Her laugh echoes through the silence of the room
She is fire
Hot, spontaneous, bright
She ignites
Her allure draws strangers in like moths to a flame
She spreads
Her spirit keeping the world warm and kind
She is fire
But like a fire at the end of the night she burnt out
She smokes
Her embers fading away into the dark abyss
She suffocates
Watching everyone around her go up in smoke

To bite you is to kiss you
scream for mercy
beg for more

to slap you
is to touch you
tied and tethered on the floor

To loathe you is  to love you
Pretty princess, ***** *****