I watched her from afar as she walked to catch up to me
Her arms swinging backwards as she leapt into the air
Her knees came to her chest before she stomped both boots into the puddle in the middle of the yard
A wave of dark sludge flew around her
Splattering her golden locks
And coating the grass in a wet messy slop

She froze only just a moment
Eyes wide and mouth popped open
As if only noticing my observant gaze
Then her laughter rolled out like a hym
Echoing across the grounds
Something so joyous
As sunlight bounced on her face
She was glowing as her mouth opened wide in a gorgeous grin
Back tilted backwards
Her head thrown towards the heavens
Complete abandonment

My inner child tugged within me
Urging me to go and play
To join my Goddess
And drown in her laugh
Away from the shelter my feet stepped into the rain
Driven by her delight
Hesitating only out of fear of driving away all that amusement
My hands craved to be buried in her hair
Kissing her until every broken, beaten crack in her soul was gone

Until the past was wiped from her memory
And she saw herself as pure as the angel in my eyes
My happiness
My joy and pride

The weight of your hands
Stopped the blood in its tracks
It's not like you
To ***** your hands whilst you sin
Usually you light a flame and watch it grow
A shoulder bump in a corridor
The crowd gathers around like weak moths
They're the ones whose tongues I am familiar with
It's their imprints on my stomach
You just glare and gloat
I watch your eyes
A flickering cinema of emotions
Remorse
                 Sympathy
     Anger
                                Frustration
The questions push against the bile in my throat
You don't know what hell you've put me through
By showing me this side of you

Beyond darkness
There is no light
I try hard to see
Even in the night

What is this light?
That all talk about
My eyes are restless
My vision is a doubt

I try to see the sun
With my bright eyes
Nothing as per reason
Maybe it's all lies

Yet, I try again to see
But this darkness
Won't fade away
Instead it's drowning me

Blind! That's what I am
Leaving in a world
With no light to guide
And hence being called,

The blind...

©sim

I have dealt with this before,
This feeling...
I am dealing with it again,
This feeling...

The outer look matters
Rather the taste of inner
The shape and color of a bottle
Looks fancy and appealing
Rather its contents, so bitter

Beauty on face, complexion
So beautiful
Inside a dark, deep infested nest
Ugly and untruthful

Painted figures, expensive makeup
Lucious lips
Pleasing to ones eyes
Caring heart, kind soul, unpleasant appearance
Yet, doubtful cries

Whatever is beautiful, matters!
Regardless to the consequences
Most see the outer appearance and judge
Hardly see the innocent smile,
                            ...of the less fortunate

©sim

I am stronger than I ever knew
I have found thanks to you
Change keeps coming at me
and I just let it blow right on through
I've made bad mistakes
but I don't have to admit defeat
To fight fear we must first take that leap
I might not have won the fight just yet
but I will never just lie down with regret
Change can be scary...
but do you know what's scarier?
Allowing fear to hold you back
No more expectations....
**I am responsible
for my own happiness :)

Colors, have ways of making us soar,
or fall.......they make us buoy...
they, too, can divide and isolate...
long ago,  a magazine
was colored and identified for a reason.....
also,
a kind of blue-sy music, upon which i groove,
...was named for the same reason...
.............a magazine..... a music genre,
became instruments...and parts of
dark and golden moments.......recalled
and enjoyed, every now and then...they're
painted.......registered in people's minds....

life is a magazine of stories, of  poetry...
life is a jukebox...filled with soundtracks
life is an album...a collection of smiles
...of colorful images and emotions
reddish brown at first...turning yellow brown,
with tinges of taupe.......mottled through the years,
turning...into fading shades  of sepia...

i refuse my late summer moments on earth
............to be done in Grisaille,
painted, only in tones of grey and dark green...
...it is written...one day, life would be hued with
subdued colors...the blues, silvers and grays,
...........will be cold as winter...

but, until then,
i'd rather be consumed with liveliness
i would adorn my days with peach and lilac
blossoms, hang fuschia pink pennants
on my wall....to brighten my disposition,
i'd practice...play the guitar once again,
i'll wear my ruffled, dappled-purple skirt,
and yellow converse sneakers when i walk on
the pavement....under blue skies that enhance
greens, and gold...colors that breathe existence
transforming weariness to courage...

wherever...whenever, however possible,
i speak, whisper to  God words of gratitude,
and endless thanksgiving...i  pray for strength.    
and acceptance........prepare myself...when,
.....i, too...would face my own moments,
...............of fading sepia.

Sally

Copyright August 6, 2017
Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan