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War
My heart is on fire
My mind is a liar
But you say I'm just tired
Not depressed

But I've confessed
There's this pain in my chest
And this level of sadness
Is only growing higher

Leave me alone
I want to be on my own
This place is not a home

This is where my thoughts deepen
This bed that I sleep in
Where my tears drown the sheets
And my bones weaken

Screaming at my scars to quit fading
Looking in the mirror
At this person I'm hating
Crying in the dark
While my heart's breaking

This war with myself can't be won
The plan was never to hurt anyone
Except me, my pain can't be undone

Save me from myself
I don't think I can fight
Save me from this war
Save me from tonight

Keep me from the dark
It's not where I want to belong
Save me from this war
Save me from who I've become

At this point I'm
beyond lost and confused
With a heart that's more than bruised
This tongue holding back its secrets
While I'm suicidal and
ignoring my weakness
But you still tell me I'm just a mess
Not depressed
 Jul 2015 Mikaela Vega
Leyla Jude
I don't know if I loved you,
or if I loved being in love.
Maybe my ego hurt more than my heart,
cause I feel like for you I wasn't enough.
I don't know if I miss your fingers on my skin,
or only being so sweetly touched.
Perhaps you weren't the one,
but just one within much.
I don't know if I was happy with you,
or just glad to be in someone's heart.
It might not be what love was supposed to be,
but in fact, simply a false start.
 Jul 2015 Mikaela Vega
Graff1980
Today is a beautiful poem
Yesterday was a drag
Jet lagged from the bad
Sad and mad at this and that
But right now is good

There is no should of
Would of or if I could of
Not wearing a leather jackets
With pockets full of regret
I bet we never met
But today is a beautiful poem

Somewhere greed bleeds horror
Plants seeds of deceit in the streets
Were strangers meet violently
Were sorrows spill silently
Still to spite that or despite that
I cite facts or perhaps lies that
Support this poetic decree from me
That today is a beautiful poem

Flowers bloom in sweet perfume
While children die in locked rooms
From mothers who beat them with
Broken brooms
But the moon is a glorious sphere
That shines here and there
Cause today is still a beautiful poem

So I use the first line
One to a hundred times
A simple ruse to lose
Those heavy handed blues
And say that
Today is a beautiful poem
 Jul 2015 Mikaela Vega
Graff1980
I only write when the light has faded
When the day has been downgraded
To the cool evening I am celebrating
When different dark shadings paint the landscape

I only write when the sun is shining
When daylight is divining
All the secret we are finding
Shadows no longer conceal how we feel

I only write on days that end in y
If even you have to ask me why
Then why even try
I just write
 Jul 2015 Mikaela Vega
Graff1980
Her fingers dance deftly across the white ivories. Music spills into the space between us. Chords bounce up and down. The waves of sound crash across time and space. They vibrate at a different frequency.
I touch the air swirling it around my fingers as if it were cotton candy. I can taste reality. It is sweet for now. Later it will burn like jalapenos, later still there will be a sea saltiness. For now the music continues, and it smells like tangerines.
Her light skin radiates with love. Hazel eyes reflect the pureness of the song. Tears fall and I find the saltiness of life a little sooner than I thought. The sound surges, creating barely perceptible mists of green and blue. Electric currents fire releasing the memory of another piano.
Wrinkled fingers connected to wrinkled hands connected to a wrinkled body vibrate. However, they vibrate at a different frequency. Sound escapes me. It is the thud of my heart beat.
The music continues, but now I can hear two distinct songs playing. The tunes mingle perfectly, becoming a new symphony. The mists converge creating a purple vapor which spirals and separates into the original colors. The colors converge then separate again and again. Repeating the pattern, they spiral like the ladder of dna.
***** blonde hair weaves in time with the dancing fingers. Curls cross each strand and become entangled in a beautiful mess. Above the stars spew out their own music. It is a strange static mess. I know that to someone it to is a beautiful song. A frequency spanning infinity and eternity traveling slower than light years; Swinging and singing in its own frequency.
The music stops, as does my breath, and my heartbeats. The colorful mist dissipates. More tears swell and fall softly moistening my cheek. The loss of beauty breaks my heart.
The young pianist turns, slides off the bench, and walks out. Cold shivers vibrate through my being. The taste of jalapeños burns in my brain. Light shatters and dissolves splitting into sparkling fragments, then split even more. I smell burnt cookies. A harsh light explodes through this strange white cascade and burns my retina.  New sounds force me back. In the distance a mangled voice says something.
The blur and slur of reality works its way into normalcy. I smile as my sense of touch returns. Cold cuffs comfortably restrain my hands and legs.

“How was it?” the voice asks.

“Amazing” I say. “Best trip ever. Now let’s change the frequency and see what else happens.”
to my darling who feels she's not:
our separation is mere illusion.
truly, your pain strikes me as i write this;
your sensations of abandonment,
and the decisiveness they have caused,
bleed from my skin into the fibers of my clothes.
i am no longer clean.
i do not feel pure.

to my severed arm and shortened tendons:
destruction is merely another side of life.
out of disappearance comes all things-
without space, there would be nothing to contain us,
nothing to allow and enfold our beings' spirits,
and they would sputter and cease like my love's flame.
i am no longer yours.
i do not feel full.

to the farthest star that my eyes can see:
your light reaches me- i glimpse you!
in the perceived emptiness between us
there is no distance to be found;
around us exists the infinite potential for
further connection and deeper growth in closeness.
i am no longer alone.
i do not feel sorrow.
 Dec 2014 Mikaela Vega
Graff1980
A hundred lines a day
To make sense of the world
Since I am unable to claim
The wisdom that I want
Stupidity is my shame
I am humbled by what I don’t
Understand
So in those hundred lines I demand
Better of myself and better for
The world I adore
 Dec 2014 Mikaela Vega
Graff1980
Used to be the poet’s pen
Was his soul mate
Then the typewriter came
Like a bitter lover
Then the computer came
And I dropped my second lover
For a better one
I hope that she will be my last
 Dec 2014 Mikaela Vega
Graff1980
Thud drip thud drip thud drip
The plaster chips bulges and rips
Tears chunks and moistened bits
From the edges to the other tips
Crumbling as if this is it
Those creaky bits no longer fit
Bent the metal frames till they are ****
Thud drip thud drip thud drip
I cannot sleep through
this
Even with a pillow crushing my ears
I can still hear what I fear
The house is coming apart
Just like me it will all disappear
 Dec 2014 Mikaela Vega
Graff1980
It is not a surprising revelation
That the devastation
We face in this nation
Is of our own making
We wear the emperor’s
Empty clothing
Naked without knowing
How hard the wind is blowing
Genitalia showing
And we would be ashamed
If any brains remained
But this is the live fast age
Were we work hard to play
Struggle to survive and barely get paid
A living wage
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