The people,
The land,
The waters,
The opportunity,
The selflessness,
The confidence,
The change,
The error,
The sights,
The air
Can form any terrain's person and pride
Into something magnificent county-wide!

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

heart is heavy
mind is on you
i miss you boy
i feel so alone
and you always felt like home

Today I'm 37
your 36,

Our words
dance between
words,

our one sided
questions
always leave
me on
guard preparing
for the
next attack.

but that is
not how
we used
to be,

once we
were kind
and gentle
and simple
almost to
a fault.

when love
didn't have
to be defined
or caged
or bled
dry from
our hearts.

when I love
you
meant I
loved you.

not a dictionary
of words
and predetermined
feelings and
obligations.

I remember it
well,
you were 12
I was 13
it was
a hot summer
day,

we were
playing in
your blow up
pool in
your back
yard.

and it
was the first
time I
had ever
seen you
in your
one piece
black nylon
bathing suit.

and love was
never to
be the
same again.

In this
one moment
I see

The old
man with
the cardboard
sign sitting
on the dirt
corner in
front of me,

looks like
a fat black
pool turtle
waiting for
something  
good to
fly by.

perched in
a pose of
power
but nobody
else sees him
that way
I am sure.

he stares
out into open
space like
an predator
looking
for prey.

and it
is not
money he
wants or
respect,

they died
long ago
in his
smile.

he just wants
this dam heat
wave to
calm down,

and his
belley to be
half full
after supper.

and his
kids where ever
they are
to grow up
to be anything
better than
him.

and he
just wants
death to
come and
not wake
him up
when it
does.


it's 4:30 in LA
on a Tuesday
afternoon.

"welcome to
paradise "