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How many more times
Will I watch a guy **** two girls
Before I kiss one I love?
I'm five blocks
Stacked inside a hole
Pick me a part, block by block
Just don't go looking for a soul

I'm discarded paper
Secrets torn apart
So they could hide
Safely in my heart

I'm bullets in a gun
Crashing headfirst into everything
Tearing through myself
With just a dying sting

I am empty air
I am what they never see
I am, simply, me
 Nov 2014 melina padron
Some of them abuse you.
Some of the abuse,
is caused by you.
Everyone looking for something 
Many  ending with nothing
Stardom is only for a chosen few.
the rest they blame on you
for doing what they tell you to do.
Some of them want to use you
Most of them are already used.
Look at them, looking in at you
what are you supposed to do,
when nobody knows what to do.
Except for telling these lies about you.
Knowing the can't do it without you.
Using tools of abuse, to doubt you
knowing not a thing about you.
 Nov 2014 melina padron
The mind has its boundaries
Taking every life to its pasture
You often deny your existence is valid
Drained to flout all the people-
That tried to alleviate your worst outcome
You can’t foresee what’s imminent
Yet your past hinders you to move forward

Motions of the night sky
Appeases you within
The stars glinting like they know you exist
Taking every setback that you had
Full of misery & regret
You fathom what if you didn't live
It doesn't make any difference
To be conceived into eminence or filth

The fear of disappointment escalates
Disappointing your loved ones resents you
You concealed every skin of-
Impetus that espoused
Knowing you could be
Abundantly stronger than this
Yet fluctuation compels you
To cower in distress  

'Why can't I be normal?'
You questioned this in your head everyday
Fragments that made you elated dissipates-
Every time you tried to defeat yourself
Falling again & again

You’re afraid of losing your conscience-
Into the abyss that kept drawing you in
You conjure up notions of ingenuity
Just to rupture it repetitively

*Is this who you really are?
Is this what you really wanted?
To infinitely hate yourself?
You are better than this
I know it's not easy.
But, go out! It's not easy overcoming the enemy.
When the enemy is you. I get it. But this life, the life you're breathing has so much more to give. You have so much love to give. Let the hate out.
Be free. Don't let it end you,
knowing you're better than this.
(I repost this cause I think it deserves the recognition to spread the message that i wanna bring out)
 Nov 2014 melina padron
Stampede of fragments barraged
Through flames of remorse
Constantly denying truth
The pain in my heart dying for blood
Blood of courage with eminent power
Streaming through the veins
Pumping ardor beats of fervor
"I want to be myself again"

With trembling heart I approach
in search of that which you so ardently seek
knowing somehow that this remorse
of the stampede of fragments barraged
of which you so fervently speak
will only lead you to more intense pain--
but if you will allow me to,
I will help you find your true inner self again...

I have sinned, slaughtered the innocent
Their minds are no longer theirs
I created monsters eating monsters
Hatred augmented to decree misery
It's too late to change
So many lives I've hurt
Don't waste your time on me

But you have to know this from my own heart:
though you've done so much wrong
never too late** to make a new start--
throw out your miserable, uncaring, heartless ways
and look to me to help you
to find fulfilment in living better days
by turning from the evil that clutches your soul
Hand in hand, we can do this together
Let me give, teach, share with you what I have come to know...
Even if you made the most unforgivable sin in the world. It's really never too late to change. There will always be someone out there. Someone who cares.
(I'm so happy to able to work with the amazing Pamela Rae:) Thank you so much Pam. I'm honoured that i'm the first person u collaborated with.)
Check out her page guys. Her writes are brilliant and uplifting;)
I'm made of nostalgia;
every part of me feels it.
just a requiem for performance.
sitting on the rooftop in the cold,
playing songs all the same
the time so bittersweet.
misery disspated with your touch
but I haven't felt you since last April.
untangling my thoughts in hopes
I'll find you in the silence or the smoke.
I don't want to wait;
I'd love to run away.
a promise changes everything
new rooftops to sit and watch the sunset,
nights to explore the rooms of our mind
opening old boxes, forgotten memories inside.
sometimes I fear my dreams fool me,
that it's not real love you're feeling.
the fact is you've given me the best nights
and I'm not ready for you to leave again.
please just stay with me this time
love doesn't need you to think.

November 26, 2014 11:26pm
- newportsmooths h.g.
while you were sleeping
I smelt winds that brought me back
to summers of my childhood
and I remembered what it felt like
to truly be alone
with a beating heart beside me
nights pushed me on my own
lost and dazed with dreams of sleep
accompanied by only voices within
who can't calm me when the walls bend
surrounded by emptiness
my backwards thoughts make no sense
with so much to say I find no words
I put my hands to the ground to ask the earth
why is this contradictory chaos so consuming?
will I come out on top?
or will it **** me?

October 22, 2014 5:30pm
-newportsmooths h.g.
i drank 12 beers yesterday and still remembered your street name
- no one can love me how i love them
- the last meal i ate was three days ago, it was soup
- i woke up with your name on my lips
- 23 years have gone by and I still won't clean my room
- crying in front of you is my worst nightmare
- ******* is keeping me from destroying everything
- "you look like a poem when you cry"
- i think about having *** with you when i'm at work
- red wine puts things into perspective
- i'm sorry but i don't believe a ******* word you say
- music is a form of escapism
- i apologize way too much for my own good
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