.
.
.
tired but couldn’t sleep
i’m wondering if you’re worth to keep
this foolish heart is in pain
but still it beats your name

How I feel is indescribable
I’m hardly recognizable
My fears are almost desirable
My chaos slowly likable

All I have are thoughts
Their whispers I nearly bought
The scars stretch across
It was almost a loss

Alone in my head
Alone, less than dead
My stomach feels like lead
I’m hanging by a thread

I feel more than sick
I hope it's one big trick
The words play again, “tick tock tick tock tick.”
I really wish this would be quick

Time slows down
Suddenly, there are no sounds
My heart begins to pound
My mind spins around

Eyes turn on me
All I want is to flee
I feel scared, cold, nervous, all three
They point and blame he

It goes away in a flash
The sounds come back, the booms and crash
Time is next, like floating ash
My mind no more is in a mash

I walk away
The stares don’t stay
My mind and heart are again okay
Another average school day

time worth ash i spent in gold, two summers
ago sweet apples, a break and burst from
my old self, those iron anvil shackles.

there was she, a poem herself, her words
exotic and sour-- a drizzle of oil, olives
in her eyes; her treacle breath a shower

"words don't matter, meaning dies, just
think not your words you write-- syntax and
grammar shouldn't be used, and never out of spite."

she told me there of artistic lies, her ways
of writing bare, those bubblegum hearts and
lemonade tears evaporating into air.

talent was she; still she stood oblivious
laughing snowflakes blush, they melted
in the summer heat, wash away my crush.

If we take weeks
and wait for someone to tell us
“STOP”
the lights might dim,
and we might shut
our eyes
but…still…
this being we
become together
exists

You didn't mean it,
You didn't mean the pain,
The agony caused by your actions.

You didn't mean it,
You didn't mean to hurt her.

You bullied and dehumanized,
Turned her...
Turned her into you,

A MONSTER!

She wept and cried,
You tortured and cursed.

You didn't mean it,
You didn't mean to hurt him.

You seduced and flirted,
Turned him into a lovesick fool.

He chased and romanced,
You left him heartbroken.

In the end,
Was anything true?

Were the sweet words,
Uttered by you lips,
True or false?

Tell me I got it wrong,
You did not mean to hurt,
You didn't mean to abuse,
You didn't mean to curse.

Tell me I got it wrong.

TELL ME, IT'S NOT TRUE!

Wrap me in paper.
Adorn me with ribbons.
A tag addressed "only for you."
I shall offer the most fragile of gifts, myself.