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Dec 2018 · 215
holiday loss
julia Dec 2018
holiday cheer to mourning tears,
i watched you take your last breath

the most wonderful time of the year
doesn’t comfort me in your death

the heavy rain was quite fitting
and the flickering candle mocked me

i can feel my fragile heart splitting
when i don’t see you under the tree

all of your things are already gone
and the house seems so bare

but i know on christmas dawn
—in our hearts, you will be there
i just lost my cat, who was a lifelong companion to me, on the 20th and let me tell you that losing a loved one during the holiday season is absolutely devastating, but i know i am not alone. my thoughts are with everyone who is spending this holiday season without a loved one; wether it be the first time or the 50th time. thank you for reading my work during this difficult time.
Oct 2018 · 218
my mask
julia Oct 2018
halloween is for being something that you aren’t—

this year i’m going to be happy.
my first 10 second poem
thanks for reading
Oct 2018 · 562
r e l a p s e
julia Oct 2018
it took years for me to heal
years to see even a year into the future
but today i wrote my old ways a letter

it feels strange not being sick
my illness was what made me, well me
she’s toxic, but addicting

i miss having someone to talk to
i miss her like i miss an old friend
mon vieil ami

but lately i can feel her presence
i can hear her faint whisper
keeping me hostage

she’s all i know
so i don’t mind her visiting
or making her permanent in my life
i’m struggling in case you can’t tell haha
please take care of yourself xo
thank you
Oct 2018 · 429
Nobody
julia Oct 2018
Nobody cares about you
Nobody thinks you matter
Nobody thinks you’re smart
Nobody misses you
Nobody thinks you’re strong
Nobody thinks you’re beautiful
Nobody wants to support you
Nobody thinks you’re worth it
Nobody loves you
Nobody thinks you’re special
Nobody hopes your day is going well
Nobody thinks you’re kind
and Nobody thinks you deserve the world


but don’t you worry
because my name is Nobody
although it may seem like “nobody cares” i can rest assure you that someone does care
please take care of yourself xo
Oct 2018 · 248
Bellview Avenue
julia Oct 2018
A car door slams,
when my destination is reached.
A gate, enclosing  generations of  
secrets, creaks when moved.  
A bell chimes four times,
ringing in the new hour.  

The Earthy smell of
freshly cut grass and roses
linger around my nose,
taken in by my lungs.

My steps crush fallen leaves
as I gently walk around.  
My eyes take in the many  
shades of grey on green  
along with purples, yellows, and reds
spread about on the grey.

My fingers scrape against a grey slab
worn away and rigid from tears.
To the right, is another slab
smooth and shining in the sun.
Off in the distance
a large tree sits,
with branches whispering in the wind.
The leaves watching the fallen ones,
before falling themselves.  

The wind softly sells faded stories
of the worn names on slabs
no longer distinguishable.
Flags wave with pride
saluting the fallen soldiers.

Paper windmills spin around
with bright colors reflecting  
the stolen childhoods
of children who never  
had the chance to live,
but now rest in dreams.  

The moon rises,
bringing in a muted light
that illuminates small details.
The crisp air tastes of musk and  
the sky is now at dusk.
I can feel a certain presence.
My favorite place, the only place,
that follows acceptance.
This was written during my freshman year of high school (2016) as a part of a poetry book project. This poem in particular is about my favorite place, the local cemetery. My poetry book had a theme of accepting yourself for who you are, and it is no coincidence that acceptance is the final stage of death.
Oct 2018 · 178
Uninvited Guest
julia Oct 2018
Death knocks on my door
three times, ever so gently.
But I don't answer.
written around May 2017
May 2017 · 441
Change
julia May 2017
A child's laugh is heard
Early one morning in May;
Along with the chains of a bike;
Ringing their song,
Harmonizing with rubber tires,
Humming against the street.


Alert as a bird,
The child rides away;
In a day so dreamlike,
And sings along,
With voice like the wildfires;
Seeking a friend to meet.  


The sun reflects on golden hair,
Fingers run though the chopped cut.
A youthful smile glows,
Complementing the sun, so bright.
Interrupted by the squealing of breaks.  


The child stops right there;
Not so childish now, but
The now faded smile shows
That the child is alright;
Although the child aches.


The child has fallen into  
The same May, accept a different year.
The bike's coated with memories and dust.
The tire's out of breath and flat,  
And no song is sung.


Saddened eyes of blue
Accepts nothing but fear.
The laugh turned to rust;
And just to think that
This change has just begun.
April 2016

During my freshman year of high school, in a very rigorous I.B. English class, I was assigned to write a poetry book including seventeen different types of poems. I just thought to share a few with whoever is willing to read them. This was my "change poem" which meant that something was to differ by the end of the poem.

Thank you.
May 2017 · 502
ice melts
julia May 2017
i hate to admit this
but i fell in love
with his icy eyes
which (ironically) make
me melt.

— The End —