The smell of cigarettes permanently stains your hair and fingers only masked by the fading scent of some too girly lotion made for girls who spend their time worrying about their looks and what the other *** thinks about them rather than living. The smell of secondhand smoke lingers around like the memory of bad fathers and horrible past lovers. Maybe that's the reason why you smoke. Maybe you are trying to burn away the feelings and love because his feelings went away as quickly as that stick of tobacco on fire does.

There's something beautiful
about sadness
and how there are no words
for the depth that you feel.
I never knew emptiness was a feeling and that loving someone
could be so **** painful.
I used to cry at
scraped knees and broken toys
but now I cry at
bruised hearts and void souls.
How can I heal
when you were my only antidote

In my three years of high school I have encountered several kinds of boys, all of which I have fallen for in some shape or form. And I feel I have them figured out for the most part.
First you have the broken boys who make you feel in touch with your emotions and mind. They make you realize that yes you may be the sunniest person ever but every day comes with night.
Then you have the best friend. He's the one who has been with you through everything. He makes you feel special and happy. But alas when you try to date he treats you like crap cause he knows you will stay.
You have the "misunderstood" popular guy who likes to sneak out of class just so he can steal a kiss from you before you leave. But randomly stops talking to you the minute a more attractive less clumsy and awkward girl comes around.
Then there is the class clown, the nerd, the ****, the cowboy, and all the other basic highschool stereotypes that no one really cares to talk about or even pay attention to so why talk about it right now. We will save them for another time.
Then there is the kind boy who lends you his books. He will always be your crush that you will never have a chance with. He is intelligent and kind and also hilarious but of course he is popular and out of your league. He is the kind of boy who has an answer to every question. He is the kind of person you could talk to about anything, whether it be music or dogs. He is the guy who makes you say dumb things and makes you nervous just thinking about talking to him. He makes you wonder hours after you talk whether or not your face turned completely red when you two were speaking. But of course he is out of your league completely.
Maybe in my final year of high school I will meet a guy who blows this all out of the water. Or maybe the smart boy who sits next to me in English will actually see me. But either way every guy I have and will meet is worth the pain they bring because they leave great lessons and memories.

The universe is in constant equilibrium,
This much is basic.
But most fail to see it in the dark corners of humanity.
They fail to notice that there is a sigh of relief for every gasp of horror, as if the air goes from one pair of lungs to the other.
We reject the idea that for every happily ever after, there is a pair of broken hearts, as we'd rather stay where we are than move to where we need to be.
We fail to see that we need as many dreamers to see the possibilities as doers to make them reality.
Without one, the other cannot exist

I want to ignore you because it's easier
I want to love you because I miss it.
I want you to love me
Because I can't love myself.
I want to be your One because thats who I was born to be
Some people know that they were destined to be doctors or lawyers
I know that I was born to be yours.

Maybe the reason I love the sky so much is because it reminds me of your eyes. Beautiful and endless but changing in mere seconds.

Loving him could only be compared to a thunderstorm. It was loud and filled me with fear but **** there was a beauty in it.