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December thirty first
two thousand twenty one countdown
will transparently and seamlessly stream into
simultaneously linkedin January first
two thousand and twenty two,
whereby the Ball a geodesic sphere,
12 feet in diameter,
and weighing 11,875 pounds.

The aforementioned Ball covered
with a total of 2,688
Waterford Crystal triangles
vary in size, and range in length
from 4 ¾ inches
to 5 ¾ inches per side.

Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen
will ring in 2022 on CNN's
New Year's eve live
sampling madding crowd
regarding self promises
(such as holy matrimony) pledged.

Disinclination regarding tradition
to make resolutions stance
adopted courtesy yours truly.

Though such proclamation
may smack of high treason
no matter convenience to season
and ideal time to leaven existence,
I discern no rhyme nor reason.

Back in the day
listening to Guy Lombardo,
a Canadian-American bandleader,
violinist, and hydroplane racer
formed the Royal Canadians in 1924
with his brothers Carmen,
Lebert, Victor, and other musicians
from his hometown of
London, Ontario Canada
popularizing Auld Lang Syne
courtesy eighteenth-century
Scots poet Robert Burns.

Those very poignant moments,
when stroke of midnight
ushered in new year
(I counted, notched and tabulated
sixty two since mine birth where
decades now seemingly
flitted by at light speed)
as yours truly a doubting Thomas
disbelief regarding artificial construct,
nevertheless he ultimately, obliviously,
and haphazardly cruises along
space/time continuum at quite a clip.

Primitive paradigms witnessed,
sabotaged, nixed by the equivalent
of caveman version qua Elon Musk,
(who snubbed squalor)
punctuated equilibrium inadvertently
presaged, revolutionized, and
upended courtesy wheelwrights
millenniums before mankind
scrutinized cosmic sights
only from storied wuthering heights
swirling maelstrom analogous to dog fights
sans gods precipitating terrestrial blights,
whence thus spake Zarathustra
predicated upon Friedrich Nietzsche's
theory when cosmic consciousness alights.

E'er since Pope Gregory XIII effectively
(furnished, generated, and
instituted his holy mojo circa October 1582)
introducing Gregorian calendar
whisking Julian calendar out of vogue
with fair vanity
approximately four hundred
thirty nine years ago
chroniclers of time - mostly
religious Norwegian bachelor farmers
casually referred to brethren as bro

invocations ******* sometimes prematurely -
that thar comment haint no fallacy),
which echoed across
Lake Wobegon, said incantations
devout followers among populace
did likewise parrot and crow
generation after generation
whereupon enigmatic, dogmatic, charismatic
monk native to Burma
stoked one after another ego

synthesizing interpretation to explain
life on Earth and phenomena at large
geocentric theory did ebb and flow
amazingly enough maintaining accuracy
with marginal probability of error
precision parsing seconds, minutes, hours...

would only tolerate absolute zero
variation regarding prediction
of weeks, months, years...
as sophistication of civilization did grow
allowing, enabling, and providing

jolly fellow bellowing **... **... **
could make his round the world wide web
timely trek linkedin with timepiece
assembled with B Corporation approval.

certification of "social and
environmental performance"
a private certification of for-profit companies,
distinct from legal designation
as Benefit corporation.

The above plug an unsolicited commentary
regarding San Francisco, California
based eco friendly and socially conscious company
and recent employer of eldest daughter,
an engineering University of Pennsylvania alumna.
(alternately titled: lion eyes hide sharp claws
unless made irate, then yours truly
bares his sharp talons
on all of mine faux pas).

Aye attest tubby reincarnated
from one male Russian Blue
species Felis silvestris catus
named Morris if that gives a clue,
and during my fuzzy past
hence, asthma “Cats Cradle”
segued into kitten hood
fur hum lee established

type cats as (tin pan) alley cat,
a rather litter boxed gritty debut
t'wood become (later in life) tabby
quick as greased lightning
snatching in the air,
when tender vittles flew,
technically got fired (acquiring
appropriate pet nicknames)

as fame (like a bushy cat tail) grew
viz perfect back up crooner
for “Cat Stevens”,
or lead singer for
the "Stray Cats" oddly
coupled, featured, and
incorporated with the guru
Horton Hears A Hoo,

yes him Elephant resembling
a humungous mandrake
from the, "Animals,"
whose body heat could
easily melt an igloo,
whereby Eskimos accepted charity from
Korean philanthropists named Joo
(founders of Palaces for Pachyderms),

these lumbering creatures possessed
an exemplary photographic memory
(rivaling that of the amazing
deceased idiot savant
Kim Peek) knew
practically every detail
incorporating trunk hated lines
(and could track missing lynx),

when felines shared common ancestor
but,...such petty files would most likely boar
and go way off course, and hence
I will shy away being extempore
favoring a deliberate fore
ray padding around basically ignore
ring any rhyme or reason
suddenly ending this persiflage,
and thence to thee bon jour.
(alternately titled: lion eyes hide sharp claws)

Aye attest tubby reincarnated
     from one male Russian Blue
species Felis silvestris catus
     named Morris if that gives a clue,
and during my fuzzy past
     hence, asthma “Cats Cradle”
     segued into kitten hood
     fur hum lee established

    type cats as (tin pan) alley cat,
     a rather litter boxed gritty debut
t'wood become (later in life) tabby
     quick as greased lightening
     snatching in the air,
     when tender vittles flew,
technically got fired (acquiring
     appropriate nick names)

     as fame (like a bushy cat tail) grew
viz perfect back up crooner
     for “Cat Stevens”,
     or lead singer for
     the "Stray Cats" oddly
coupled, featured, and
     incorporated with the guru
Horton Hears A Hoo,

yes him Elephant resembling
     a humungous mandrake
     from the, "Animals"
whose body heat could
     easily melt an igloo,
whereby Eskimos accepted charity from
     Korean philanthropists named Joo
     (founders of Palaces for Pachyderms)

these lumbering creatures possessed
     an exemplary photographic memory
     (rivaling that of the amazing
     deceased idiot savant
     Kim Peek) knew
practically every detail
     incorporating trunk their lines
     (and could track missing link,

when felines shared common ancestor
but,...such petty files would most likely boar
and go way off course, and hence
     will shy away being extempore
favoring a deliberate fore
ray padding around basically ignore
ring any rhyme or reason
suddenly ending this persiflage,
     and thence to thee bon jour
When juiced a spore sized embryo, early in utero; fetus
   evinces atavistic miniaturization,
   where nascent differentiation wrought
physical resemblance to - seek reachers,
   sans Tarzan and Jane forebears,
   or exemplification of religious embodiments writ upon taut
lee helical real to reel strung nano deoxyribonucleic acid,
   where dome min ant
   ander recessive traits pop sic cull, and/or mom genes sought
took comb hing gull, where foxy fiery hander chrome hat tick
   microscopic threads ineluctably
   hired bot to weave warp and woof for naught
heard interpretive soundcloud issue onomatopoetic beat,
   whether as:
   the Marseillaise, muezzin, or reveille blown in the wind
   by alimentary mechanic, *** killed in all manner of ought  
   tow mobile craftsmanship, which possibly inflated and made pregnant,
   when one seem n
thrashes within timed zona pellucida drawbridge,
   hooping an ova to snag,
   though odds stacked against the most basic cell fish competition fought
in the **** z of evolutionary biology informing **** sapiens
   one errant or defiant game gamete perhaps hinting a gamine
tubby wonderfully woven with wisps viz The Idler Wheel Is Wiser
   than the Driver of the ***** and Whipping Cords Will Serve You
   More than Ropes Will Ever Do a ha at last that renegade oocyte
   nabbed, analogously the Michael Phelps re: among the flagellated
   madding crowdsource qua squirming *****-faction caught
thence the commencement when trappings for a newborn bought
   years later reviewing prenatal sonograms with grown son or daughter
   pointing out how he/she editorialized, epitomized, and exemplified
   in miniature (no bigger than any letter of the alphabet),
   and closely resembled many creatures extant throughout the briny deep
   such as an amphibian, reptile or Argonaut.
Freely forming metrical mainstays
poetic occasion to phrase
the fairer and gentler ***,
thus the following turns of phrase
to bestow acknowledgement

regarding wonderful wise ways
of collective she who assays
to create safe/secure home/ hearth
as bedrock and fount of ample
maternal duties tiredly sashays

with keeping house receiving praise
the second Sunday each May, her
tired body sprawled on chaise
lounge, perhaps basking in solar rays
communing with Gaia, who ****
bruiting with sky goddess

defying forecasters prediction, no slate grays
pose dampening effect on huzzahs
regaling torchbearer diploid as amaze
zing newlife, where loving labor pays
more than fine spun gold cherishing
offspring in her nurturing ways.

Paean dutiful daily deference, I dole
ensconced with pineapple getup
surfing the cyber sea, this hyperbowl
lee, yet deserved dignity deifying dames,
who bear brunt whole
ding potent biological reproductive role

de facto duty honorably decreed
tribute paid despite commercialized
money making hyped up rigamarole,
nonetheless yours truly accentuates sole
sans, progenitor of human race
saddled with disproportionate/ unfair toll.
From thee... eldest daughter,  
who need not brood,
nor does padre whoosh
to stir loess hood family feud
(hence an attempt merely
to convey melancholic mood).

Profound contrast extant between
your high achieving
life a wonderful hit parade
on the go compared tummy mellow
existence, yes rather staid,
now devoid of any parental
responsibility since years back, ye bade
farewell to yours truly

(perhaps forever), atop a jade
did apex inverse to my nadir paid
with ignoble deeds soul limb lee,
dissimilar to thee,
a young vibrant woman, unafraid
to take life by the (figurative) horns,
owning free choice (linkedin, nsync,
prevalent...) with autonomy swayed

independent lass not succor tubby paid
tummy, nor does this "sir" ask (delayed
by one day) for thee to "FAKE" express
sing nonexistent affection,
this decision...opting to evade
papa, who must accept such choice,
asper his first born, fortunately UNLIKE me
she earned top notch grade

nonetheless, this dada before he gets laid
to rest (actually most likely cremated),
whose ashes tubby scattered across favorite sites,
yourself and Shana Punim played,
which wistful nostalgia plucks heartstrings
rubbing raw thy psyche, who cannot trade
past concupiscent  transgressions (emotionally
turbulent waters I did wade),

and no intent to telephone and invade,
sans audiologically your ear space,
this paternal, essential, and critical need
my psyche weighed, lamented, and encumbered

grief, nonetheless proud,
thee "star student" made
herself whip smart
by dogged academic pursuit
in tandem with ardent biological
bone a fide exemplary filleted
(within chromosomal dom) mignon,
similar, when Semitic forebears

risked frolicking under shade
of night - countless elapsed generations aid
ding random genetic dice throw begetting
Eden Liat, whose irrepressible
atavistic feral guaranteeing immortality obeyed
viz, call of the wild indomitable

animalistic hankering impossible to evade,
these genealogical ancestors actions unknowingly,
unstintingly, and unwittingly
helped forge, craft, and affect every blade
of grass, and yoked, (a chicken and egg thing)
hereditary survival of fittest
present day unchoreographed masquerade.
Residents at high
     land manor apartments
     (aside from myself)
     got rudely awakened -
     by what sounded
     like a screaming,
     seething, and shrieking airplane
early morning hour

     'ere september eleventh
     two thousand eighteen
     with deafening decibel (at
     maximum threshold)
     ear piercing shrill alarm
     rousing atavistic primal
     Neanderthal tapping primal brain
if NOT a atheist secular humanist,

     I would aver my linkedin match
     (com mon lee) attributed
     to Abel and/or Cain,
but whether broad
     minded or parochial,
     that deafening fire alarm
     this bloke doth disdain
but to ears of

     volunteer fire fighters,
     that unbearable audio
     warning tone beloved,
     aye need not explain
how appreciative, and
     reassure ring knowing
     rough and ready persons fain
to selflessly risk

     life and/or limb,
     when trucking
     extinguishing arsenal
     with genuine gratitude to gain
demonstrating without
     pomp and circumstance
     the art of being humane
automatic reflexive

     instincts second nature
     where breathe, eat,
     and live for others
     a credo, dictum,
     ethos deep ingrain
within every cell
     of their sturdy bodies,
     sans indefatigable as

     Tarzan and Jane
on par with prestidigitation skill
     visa vis tricks of the trade
     discovered via legerdemain,
yet aside from
     power house strength,
     another salient trait
     needed asper physically,

     emotionally, and spiritually exhausting,
     grueling, and taxing job,
     would necessitate one to maintain
composure in the
     midst of pandemonium
     gamely, gingerly, and

     gloriously fighting infernos
(WITHOUT any mon
     key business)
     while training, learning,
     and exacting diligence
     non harried styled
     tailored swiftness!
Sorry for the delay. I was busy.
I'm still alone. U?

**********

zealotry yawping within un
pretentious sporty, quirky,
oddly, manly, kooky, impisly, gummy,
edgy, dorky, cocky, belly airs

to disseminate, a quick
literary flourishing brushstroke
no on nest to dog lie 'n, tie gears
(tigers) boot this chap bears,

who copped, dropped,
plopped out of college devoid of any careers,
and wandered the globe after
searching classifieds for reign leaderless deers,

this buck rogers wannabe could be doe ting,
and assist sleigh get off the ground
on account of his Dumbo ears,
despite abomination, hesitation, and trepidation

to push comfort zone and exposure therapy skyward
in order to over nervousness about being in high places
plus countless other fears,
and an extreme intervention measure considered,

would be brain transplanat with that of another,
whose mental cogs and gears
and a canine like audibility acute as a hares
means to sprint at light speed if senses

being caught in the cross hairs of a gun barrel,
whose fate doomed demise almost insnares,
yet PETA type person would loathe any jeers
if any animal alluded to characterized

heading toward harm
and in reality, this heir,
who favors knitwears
with pink frilly (“I HATE BOYS”) *******,
would put his measly life on the line,

cuz aye believe every creature own right to live,
whether they dwell in **** trees or underground lairs,
oh..., or kept in stable condition
of ca horse hi mean mares,

a barn strewn with hay during the day
to fend off pitch black ominous sounds
Equus ferus caballus (Hardy
as a mountain Laurel),

but quite susceptible to nightmares
thus some veteranarians strongly suggest
cloth eye elastic lined ocular shades,
but please make sure Mister Ed,
or his ilk doth newt overhears.
------------------------------------
addy ewe - matthew scott harris
Bleak existence portrayed,
nonetheless this (baby
boomer) hybrid dreamer
oft times evocative
edenic reveries bekiss
mine psyche with pastoral trappings
evoking utopian bliss

on par with drawing
winning lottery ticket,
which fantasy I quickly dismiss,
where dolorous voices within me hiss
mocking pipe dream compensating
for unlived life hide miss

whiling away hours
of young adulthood...
this threescore aged man did blithely ****
away enraptured with Swiss
Family Robinson fantasy,
gladly exchanging tsoris

entailing breathtaking adventure
versus sequestered bookishness burr
rowed nose engrossed
with page turner capture
ring imagination of this erstwhile drifter
addressing, fixating, and keeping coiffure

as disheveled appearance, where daily
father and mother showed me the door
particularly on account, cuz for one more
nanosecond, they could not endure
this healthy sole son vaping expenditure
as both parents toiled away,

they tired trying to swallow failure
while primarily main feature
of this poem lackadaisically
exhausted as an Evansburg Park fixture
(calling squirrels on first name basis),
no sooner this bookworm gave vague gesture

after setting foot inside abode - 'pon dusk
asper whereabouts, off
into bedroom I did immure
and disappear into story
maybe one about main
character pledging indenture

role as heavy footsteps shook
324 Level Road domicile infrastructure
awaiting the wrath
of Khan spouting ultimatums
our father/son rapport long did inure
a "NON FAKE" wall not immune

to malicious, noxious, vicious... lecture
to offspring who long outwore his
Harris Tweed Scottish welcome mat,
yet... feared testing nonsecure
mooring which familiarity bred contempt!
I comport myself with quiet pridefulness,
plus intellectual whimsy
aware that "FAKE" pretentiousness,
could be mistaken foreign egotistical vitae
furthering, feathering and figuratively
undermining jestingly,

poetically, and zealously
oozing, gushing, bubbling over
with faux snobbish suave re:
pulse sieve literary fatuous
haughtiness, and ludicrous narcissistic pre
ning all the while chuckling to me

self, and indifferent if
some anonymous browser
with Dutchman's breeches rolled up
upon cresting wave over Zyder Zee
disparages mine harmless
badinage, hence if ye

might qualify as such nitpicker,
who doth cavil - dee
crying wading thru
quagmire of verbiage,
a gentle reply to thee
might be more wise to turn energy

toward, how in many another country
the village people haint so free
spouting, sporting, and spoiling,
vis a vis intellectual sparring
(albeit innocent) black
barbs hatch chee

ving, and raising urgent
attention against he
(who **** squelching
constitutional rights) re:
pressing, rescinding, reviling,
et cetera access toward key

underpinnings within these fifty
constituent United States
of America beckon alacrity
for obliging citizens across
all points of the compass to alee

v8 his indiscriminate flee
sing, sans bedrock nation could tee
tear on the brink of calamity,
which political plug quite inadequate

to staunch hemorrhaging, viz upending
many a sacred liberty,
and foo to you reprimanding
against any agree
gee us objection to pen about polly lee
ticks and/or religion!
Hue more, a dog send,
asper how this poe
whet tick mutt air ring
mortal doth cope with woe
principally said misery prevails
because a dearth of dough
cash, liquid legally rendered
assets, money, y'know

what I mean, and securing, and
maintaining employment efforts go
south, cuz yours truly
experiences extreme anxiety,
where perspiration doth flow
most significantly moistening
palms when this bro
fills out application,

or during interview so...
to spare myself such
grievous anguish, although
such acquiring a job, the
quickest most obvious to diminish
penuriousness whiplashing to and fro
primarily due to requisite ought toe
motive repairs (ordinary

wear and tear),
this unearned income of mine - so
shill security disability
(monthly electronic depot
zitz), the sole source of mo
knee for myself and the missus,
(who also unfortunately emo
shun null lee dogged by ******

logical pitfalls since her grow
chee parents (both deceased) unaware
of her mental afflictions decades ago
lacks any checking, and/or
savings account, lo
she wants for disposable income ***
ping to rely on me for spending money
on regular basis, which by Joe

siff, mother and Mary
stresses thee only means
to sustain financial status quo,
hence my lament and plea
for succor, yet just blow
wing figurative steam also
bring a modicum of alleviation, as
does talking to a therapist, crow

wing about pennilessness
day late dollar short,
hence cue thee oboe
or violin somber
(pitiful) tune - **...**...**...
methinks gofundme site not apropos

cuz just a couple thousand bucks...
would allow me to get show
back on the rodeo
circuit, but I hoop
not to engender glow
warring revulsion - whoa!
Ya wanna count bajillion sheep,
but tween gluteus maximus powerful
natural gas explosions during sleep
(*** suspected source) – courtesy missus
she served me lentil beans piled outsize heap

sinister been off fish shunt ploy
spouse I may no longer keep,
cuz dream house went up in flames
reduced to ashes smoldering (Uriah hit) heap
an feeble attempt made to extinguish courtesy

urination which suddenly found me awoke
moments ago groggily awakened out deep
slumber out requisite snooze,
cuz I bean dog tired exhausted fuel
driving one clunky body electric jeep

wee hours way after midnight night owl
in case ya give fig yore hot heave hoot
blasted tremendously nonstop
rendering air to smell foul
while my little chickadee evinced similar
disposition, she too did pepper her muttering

with expletives, and did growl
snarling evidenced yours truly espied scowl
unrepentant and threatened to apply dowel
well, I need not specify, "a" specific vowel
one cheeky spouse,
would find yours truly to howl

no pretty picture me bean
while slowly turning unnatural green,
henceforth rushed to emergency room
whereby team of alien specialists,
who casually did primp and preen

mistaking convincingly verdant colored
hue man as martian ready for Halloween,
and said practitioners loathe to intervene
reckoning yours truly -
with other worldly mien,

would conveniently scare bejesus
among any hooligan tween
ready and willing to cause mischief
while prowling for methamphetamine,
or other drug of choice

one motley crew member seen
dodging, evading, fording... police
eventually cornered unlike Steve McQueen
(the late actor), who escapes behind screen
of smoke unscathed unlike

formerly acquitted, alluded mean
and aforementioned hoodlum
who suffers gunshot wound
rushed to same hospital
lay disabled fugitive ruffian took lead
fired into buttucks bullet punctured

evident by derriere oozing bloodshed
as self, both us nearly dead,
asthma doppelganger wed
did in sweat upon abdomen,
now aching pain in *** spread red
hot poker radiating throbbing inside

excruciating did quickly thread
into noggin i.e. fifty shades red
dully permeated gray matter
inducing severe agony with head,
though mustered energy to scrawl

obituary envisioning said
on same page as op/ed
gallows humor sought instead
of relief courtesy synthesized drug,
thus laughter as best medicine

linkedin chowing down unsuspected bean
dish licked plate sparkling clean
mental note made to avoid
eating flatulence inducing food

prepared Das daring "frau" faux Queen,
though I certainly also enjoy keen
wah filling up growling hungry void,
and... appealing to this bonafide android
gluten free textured meals direction I lean.
Though not exceptionally
famished, I took one bite
after another until tureen
licked clean to the delight
of zee missus, whose tasty

two stuffed peppers numbered finite
adequately apportioned appeased
served December 26th, 2020
supreme supper highlight,
hers whose non verbal expression
translated high as kite

beaming satisfaction at husband
well fed fueled might
dare attempt to craft following
reasonable rhyme posted
for many readers onsite
passable endeavor hoop fully

buzzfeeding fanciful kudos - quite
acceptable to critique
mediocre outcome,
maybe ye suburbanite
dweller or thee might
perchance be longtime urbanite.

Nevertheless (me) de facto
de jure guinea pig cannot abstain
availing self as willing subject and feign
to gag on culinary entree with cuisine plain
no spicy food to avoid aggravating reign

of terror within
lower gastrointestinal tract,
a worse fate than being slain
in battle and/or
drowning within gravy train.

Most meals prepared courtesy thy wife
I masticate without any
(loose) indentured (sink false teeth into) strife
both of us quarantined as our typical nightlife

Covid-19 jazzmatazz planted
well rooted herbalife
such tranquility emblematic
when I become gratefully dead and
consigned to mounted afterlife.

Thus hoop fully
ye accepted poetic side morsel
(mine) somewhat wry
wordsmith (me) rather bland,
yet not averse to satisfy
merchant of Venice

much (moosh pit) ado about nothing, well nigh
preferring a midsummer night's dream afore
all's well that ends well
as you like it (poetry soup)
mine sense and sensibility doth defy
ratiocination minus any helpful alibi.

Methinks what future savory dish
the spouse might cook up,
what with an abracadabra
prestidigitation (Nike) swish
right before these myopic eyes witness
whatever mine heart doth wish.
I barely experienced
getting clothed (think fashion wise
as metaphorically swiftly tailored
harried styled mortal)
approaching naked truth
regarding life, liberty

and pursuit of happiness..,
nonetheless yours truly forever gropes
in the darkness of ignorance analogous
to imagined (envisioned) asymptote
demarcating experiential enlightenment
heading toward verity of righteousness,
yet never subtending arc of enlightenment.

Quite the contrary woebegotten mortal
forthwith struggling to acquire
consciousness raising awareness
approximating essential virtue
offset (er... rather severely deflected)

toward pitfall of vice
(comprising gamut of lurid temptations),
which default status
exerts overwhelming, overpowering, overemphasizing
draw (think powerful magnetic force).

I frankly, grievously, and honestly attest
predilection finds this hoary beastie boy
scarcely able to tread water swiftly rising
above his hairless fabby, & doughy chest,
where left and right man ***** delineate
miniature (albeit sagging) Mount Everest

quite obviously feeble human specimen
(farcical) gentleman quarterly not hottest
male within Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
nor anywhere upon oblate spheroid, he jest
I kibitz re: absent good humor lie bull lest
stubbornly refusing to leave debauchery
rather remain holed up within rats nest
steeped in familiarization re: egg guarding

hen pecking (matt er fact) Harris sing pest,
where no spring chicken thwarts impossible
mission (mother clucker sabotages rooster)
offsetting opportunities to experience nirvana
quaffing electric koolaid acid test brew rest

assured (me not snorting while typing) test
ting out (lit Miss, really haint no chore), and
merely sounding out prospects to make vest
head interest for prosperous friendship with
brio, extra mayo, sauteed onions and zest.
not one drop of sweat
(especially on hot humid and hazy days)
less than a gallon
exudes forth from my pores
but nevertheless
I can single handedly manage...
primary idiopathic palmar/
palmoplantar hyperhidrosis.

Aforementioned physiological malady
unwanted and unwonted figurative
(metaphorical) beast of burden
linkedin with matrix constituting mine
corporeal essence genetically
gifted to yours truly,
invariably, objectionably,
and unquestionably
afflicts, impacts, and upsets
emotional (mental) health
diagnosed with
schizoid personality disorder.

Tis no fun when unable
to join in any reindeer games
(actually quite aggravating)
to experience chronic instances,
whereby profuse sweat drips
(think rivaling Angel Falls),
the loftiest falls on land
inducing extreme self
consciousness and embarrassment.

Socialization compromised,
jeopardized, and sabotaged
against natural proclivity to fraternize,
thus avoidance behavior
(i.e. social distancing) rigorously practiced
way before coronavirus (COVID-19)
mandated staying at least 6 feet
(about 2 arm's length) from other people.
I vaguely recollect even while in utero
sweaty hands cooled courtesy amniotic fluid
yet subsequently observing consternation
obstetrician displayed as
itty bitty teensy weensy fingers
dripped - think faucet turned on full force.

Mein kampf (predominantly
describes solitary existence)
severely exacerbated (still prominent)
ability to function undermined
courtesy deux part and parcel
significant aforestated physiological
and social congenital afflictions
somewhat ameliorated by
about half dozen
plus three prescription medications,
one of which includes glycopyrrolate
typically one of the first treatments
for craniofacial hyperhidrosis
(excessive sweating of the face and head)
and the second or third treatment
for palmar, plantar, or axillary hyperhidrosis
(excessive sweating of the palms,
soles, and armpits).

I keep hermetically sealed
within our single bedroom apartment
(we lucked out with unit B44
providing us scenic view)
then (at the initial
crafting of bulk of this poem)
climate controlled at sixty degrees Fahrenheit
(you do the math to figure
the Centigrade temperature),
nevertheless these
five fingered appendages
ooze perspiration on par
with spigots gushing sweat.

Worse fate than death finds me
suffering one or more
dogged following plagues:
water turning to blood, frogs, lice,
flies, livestock pestilence, boils, hail,
locusts, darkness and killing
of firstborn children far less oppressive
versus being stricken with Hyperhidrosis.

Sain above identified unpleasant fallout
understandably, quintessentially, and inextricably
linkedin within every fiber
moost likely activated since conception - mine
body electric infiltrated nerve wracking
complex corporeal edifice
interestingly enough solely overbearing
while yours truly wide awake
bright tailed and bushy eyed,
yet sleep ofttimes brings
severely dislocating, disquieting
and discombobulating
subconscious nocturnal experiences,
which frightful, maniacal, and
phantasmagorical vivid dreams
undermines, oppresses, and impinges,
any joie de vivre
creating abominable hell on Earth
thus this dirt poor commoner
pronouncing his intent
to beg, borrow and/or steal
(sell my soul to the devil)
in a desperate effort to secure
and pay King's ransom
to rid myself once and for all
of parasite entrenched nemesis
bleeding dry, leeching, and yoking
writer christened Matthew Scott Harris,
whereby he doth regularly writhe in agony.
Every blasted acrimonious misdeed
aye indelibly perpetrated
affecting ye and the Punim for life
hounds me doggone soul night and day
venomous wrath torments, strangles, racks...
every bone in mine entire body

suicidal ideations haunt every
waking and sleeping hour,
perhaps previous attempts to communicate,
(albeit poetically - for no rhyme nor reason)
fell short, asper yours truly
to claim accountability, culpability, responsibility...

unwittingly subjecting thee, a prized progeny
with legacy, where
diabolical, emotional, psychological... trauma
compromised your care free growing up years
namely while residing at 1148 Greentree Lane
exacerbated by mine self absorption

countless hours misspent
whiling away precious time
mesmerized more so
with computer technology,
versus prioritizing fleeting moments
with "mother" and/or offspring

yes..he now pays heavy price
pursuing amorous liaisons
gallivanting, flirting, emailing...
impacting (obliviousness
pitifully lame retort unacceptable)
feigning much ado about nothing

snappishly barking anger
such vitriol (mine)
sabotaged once in
lifetime golden opportunity
to foster, kindle pinterest
with spouse and daughters

subsequently deepening rift
rivalling Mariana Trench
love's labour's lost forever
frittering away compounded
half heartedly seeking employment

even though - NO LIE
inexplicable debilitating anxiety
buzzfeeding panic attacks
plaguing my psyche
since...birth, incapacitating
maximizing potential abilities

playing havoc pledging troth
with counterpart exhibiting
mental health challenges
unfairly begetting deux darling lasses
thee bearing brunt of pennilessness,
at aforementioned residence

unlivable, horribly untidy,
toxic with mold, cluttered...
such offal sight, sounds of screaming,
(when Shana nonverbal), stench...
now suffer (PLEASE BELIEVE)

suicidal ideation plagues my conscience
pointed objects quite inviting
remembrance of things past,
a worse fate than death!
PLEASE FORGIVE DADA...?
Nirvana awaits dada dear
thine paternal parent,
who helped sire yours truly,
a widower these
last fourteen plus years,
he laments absence,

and sorely misses presence
regarding scatterbrain spouse,
single word description,
he would readily concur
appellation linkedin with
bubbly headed just legal bride

born November thirteenth
ninety thirty five
learned thru the grapevine
(I must telephone him...
before the curtain call...,
whence his spirit

exits stage door left,
cashes in chips
gives up ghost
kick the bucket
et cetera, cuz
heavy sadness still pronounced

since me birth mother (his wife)
departed about three years
following grim terminal prognosis
metastatic uterine cancer
sabotaged her vivacious person
doggedly die hard zest

Arthur Murray ballroom instructor
unbridled questing nabbed,
(albeit flirtatious ******)
husbanded coy demeanor
snookered young, tall, slender,
handsome, athletic bachelor

unwitting prime ketch
female instinct pheromone scented
bewitched, enthralled, intoxicated...
pretty thang wrought yoked
without resistance ohm mat tickly
generated electric charm

crackled, popped, and snapped
synapses nsync between infatuated pair
future groom invoked flying colors
courtesy maternal grandmother

marriage spanned approximately half century,
not entirely wedded bliss,
yet each swore fidelity to the other
..."until death do us part".
Our beloved youngest daughter Shana Aubrey
(endearingly called “Shayne Punim”)
still feels under the weather,
with symptoms centered around gastrointestinal tract,
though she lives in Bend, Oregon
(experienced her pseudo autonomy
before she completed eighteen Earth orbitz
approximately three and a half years ago).

Said healthy apple of mine (myopic) eye
begat between me and thine married mate
conceived approximately late April/early May
nineteen ninety eight
lived with my youngest sister,
whose husband George Andrew Dunning

both willingly, readily and eagerly
accepted role as proxy parents
while the child we bore
matriculated (methinks -
but don't quote me) – as sophomore
at Redmond Efficiency Academy
whereat high school diploma she acquired.

Near impossible mission to track her down
plus this papa desists unnecessarily intruding
aware how he never healthily underwent
loosed apron strings, but overstayed his welcome
never choosing apropos time
regarding painfully breaking home ties.

Sadness manifested nsync with empty nest syndrome
I rarely succumb, whereby sentimental bouts
finds yours truly reminiscing father daughter bonding
less infrequent episodes getting teary eyed
versus managing to converse with progeny
on adult level, nevertheless vicariously

feeling despair when thee aforementioned offspring
when she describes being physically unwell
with abdominal cramps, bloating, nausea...
ultrasound hinted her malady
inherited courtesy the missus
namely Nonalcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD).

Her psychological and social progress phenomenal
since being biologically gifted to us
February 4th, 1999
diagnosed with developmental delay
(more specifically high functioning asperger syndrome
closest affliction to garner medical coverage)
nothing short of an amazingly graceful
metamorphosis from irascible toddler

to mild mannered young lass
hmm... okay a few bumps along figurative road
when above named girl afforded us challenges
preceding maturation and eventual bonhomie
especially when late blooming darling
manifested cognitive faculties
(albeit acquired abilities fraught with challenge).

Appreciation abounds for extensive intervention
Montgomery County (Pennsylvania) Intermediate Unit
marks commencement where flesh and blood
(concerning mine and the missus begat)
bundle of pride and joy
despite tasked with being legal guardians.
Extant latent forcefields transcend
across avast panoply multitudinous biosphere
scads of diverse living entities
innately born with
inherent capacity to care
embedded within cellular

pith and marrow,
sans plethora of unlike those
pesky conniving Facebook organisms,
the former declare
affinity, not only
each among their

own divergent species,
(but even among
disparate dissimilar cohabitants
on planet Earth genetically embedded
with unique potential to engineer
unprecedented feats encompassing

inexplicable ability to forge fair
lee sharing recognized quintessential
pronounced emotive displays clear,
lee offering, kindling... robust amity
legion between distinctly
obviously, and glare

ringly different life forms
unlike themselves, here
roll ding an unheeded object lesson
for **** sapiens, hell bent
somehow inexplicably bound by
dominant, important, omnipotent...

(of course except for this gent,
ha, who strives to be selflessly attendant),
and yes undoubtedly
other people cogent
against trumpeting xenophobic fervent
rants particularly against

migrants, who spent
blood, sweat and tears
forced into poverty
and misery, asper Native Americans
with deliberate intent

at genocide hundreds
of years ago (AND still)
today bedraggled indigenous
grievous national and global event,
where power hungry exploit powerless,
the latter kept bound by belligerent

hot headed racist, narcissistic,
misogynistic, egotistic...
"FAKE" prez steaming vehement
diatribes lambasting decent
folks, his oozing rabid hate doctrine
obvious enemy of freedom, versus

patriotic stalwarts, growing voice of cohorts,
who love Lady Liberty
ready to die and foment
revolution if necessary against REAL agent
provocateurs such avaricious cupidity I lament!
Aye dream of Genie (as a Lad din)
     Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -
     keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay,
this stupid non huge poem
     really...a boot nuttin
     butta an overrated allay
zee good for nothing, bay

     sic ****** slob, bray
zing as a ("FAKE") pence heave
     trumpeting (Don Key Oat Tee),
     chutzpah twittering Prez, -
     whom stoop “To **** a Mockingbird”
activate hocus pocus “Go Set NRA
as a Watchman,” yepper, hip pip hooray,
whose **** sitters un mensch hen

     nib bill, one important,
     non binding ***** nilly play
book title, sans how to acquire,
     tousled windswept coiffed soufflé
rooted under sworn confidential heady
testimony (top secret only known
     between POTUS, FLOTUS,
     and hairstylist Tiffany Kaljic)

     helped grow "The Art Of The De..." lay
sham (poo poo) headline kept under ray
dar only "How To Get Ri." Dove lousy
tonsuring service, and how easy
to get Head & Shoulders above fray
dee cats - me owing over petty files

     versus joining gray
vee train via tracking
     "FAKE" ***** footing
     faux Trump wannabes, hence ICE hay
Immediately railroad competition
     viz, against ISIS speck did
Amazon tubby a root cause
thus resorting to

     "Midas Touch: Why...Ent...er
risk to get scalped, when,
     (though periwig poor
     hirsute substitute), I belay
burr the point far y'all
     (get a Fred – Roger over) to hoist
     by one's own petard oye vey,
while channeling das directv gray

gore re: haired (50 shades), and
     direct descendent from Kublai
Khan, a moost deplorable display
     yellowish, venomous, serpent,
     which poisonous scorpion size prey
with deadly fangs straight
     (tinned by orthodontists),
    a perfect set pearl whites in an array

as daggers hissed ("FAKE")
     snaky intergenerational viper, and
     true tomb ice elf flave
     heard like a pampered baby
(nick named Keebler Khan)
     unthinkable alternative
     (forever shunned near and faraway)
if this poetaster doth betray

his (my) devote followers, no matter
     admirably, dutifully, and gracefully
     fulfilling role as sommelier
     replenishing wine goblets
     with vintage chardonnay,
nonetheless reprimanding recalcitrants,
     who opt to breakaway
slamming, shaming, and scathing

     rants against brand name
     Matthew Scott Harris
     finds himself a castaway,
     thus unsure, how to write without delay
An insipid poem to pay
(overtime) homage about Labor Day
prepping mental gears
     glommed together like clay

while cruising at mock speed
     faster then (Tom Hawk)
     along the (Al Gore) rhythm information
     super highway expressway
axe chilly (sh...dont tell a soul
     lest I club burr you -
     ha juiced tees zing),

     yours truly intends
     to play umpteen (close
     to a bajillion) rounds of golf
     on the Harris fairway
Lest a Tony (nay)
boar hood tiger jumps
     out of the woods painfully sinking

sharp teeth into mine flesh for play
     jour quickly making mince
     meat then fillet
mignon before (prestidigitation
     i.e.presto) magically
     regurgitating my self fully intact
     as repurposed slimy trumpeting popinjay.
Aye dream of Genie (as a lad din)
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -
keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay,
this stupid non huge poem
deployed courtesy scholar
really...a boot nuttin
butta an overrated allay
zee good for nothing, bay
sic ****** slob, bray
zing as a ("FAKE") ex pence heave

trumpeting (Don Key Oat Tee),
chutzpah twittering Prez, -
whom stoop “To **** a Mockingbird”
activate hocus pocus “Go Set NRA
as a Watchman,” yepper, hip pip hooray,
whose **** sitters un mensch hen
nib bill, one important,
non binding ***** nilly play
book title, sans how to acquire,
tousled windswept coiffed soufflé

rooted under sworn confidential heady
testimony (top secret only known
between POTUS, FLOTUS,
and hairstylist Tiffany Kaljic)
helped grow "The Art Of The De..." lay
sham (poo poo) headline kept under ray
dar only "How To Get Ri" Dove lousy
tonsuring service, and how easy
to get Head & Shoulders above fray
dee cats - meowing over petty files

versus joining gravy train via tracking
"FAKE" ***** footing
faux Trump wannabes, hence ICE hay
immediately railroad competition
viz, against ISIS speck did
Amazon tubby a root cause
thus resorting to
"Midas Touch: Why...Enter
risk to get scalped, when,

(though periwig poor
hirsute substitute), I belay
burr the point far y'all
(get a Fred – Roger over) to hoist
by one's own petard oye vey,
while channeling das directv gray
gore re: haired (50 shades), and
direct descendent from Kublai
Khan, a moost deplorable display
yellowish, venomous, serpent,

which poisonous scorpion size prey
with deadly fangs straight
(tinned by orthodontists),
a perfect set pearl whites in an array
as daggers hissed ("FAKE")
snaky intergenerational viper, and
true tomb ice elf flave
heard like a pampered baby
(nick named Keebler Khan)
unthinkable alternative little cookie

(forever shunned near and far away)
if this poetaster doth betray
his (my) devout followers, no matter
admirably, dutifully, and gracefully
fulfilling role as sommelier
replenishing wine goblets
with vintage chardonnay,
nonetheless reprimanding recalcitrants,
who opt to breakaway
slamming, shaming, and scathing

rants against brand name
Matthew Scott Harris
finds himself a castaway,
thus unsure, how to write without delay
an insipid poem to pay
(overtime) homage about Labor Day
prepping mental gears
glommed together like clay
while cruising at mach speed
faster then cruising (Tom Hawk)

along the (Al Gore) rhythm information
super highway expressway
axe chilly (sh...don't tell a soul
lest I club burr you -
ha juiced tees zing),
yours truly intends
to play umpteen (close
to a bajillion) rounds of golf
on the Harris fairway
Lest a Tony (nay)

boar hood tiger jumps
out of the woods painfully sinking
sharp teeth into mine flesh for play
jour rising quickly making mince
meat then fillet
mignon before (prestidigitation
i.e.presto) magically
regurgitating my self fully intact
as repurposed slimy trumpeting popinjay.
Adherence regarding credo
to finish reading arbitrarily
self selected book beginning
to end silent promise made
otherwise, I experience guilt
analogous violating unwritten

law, said private oath binds me
against challenging non binding
unspoken promise additionally
never flipping thru pages reading
conclusion, viz aforementioned
unspoken vow never abrogated,

no contest when authored material
finds yours truly engrossed cover
to cover avast joyous kickstarted
linkedin magical nameless eye
opening imaginative adventure
and/or literature deemed among

timeless (cult) classics cherished,
marveled, treasured... analogous,
where taste buds appeased brimming
culinary decadence edifying gourmet
savory sweet treat (ideally NON GMO
gluten and MSG free) targeting aching

unclutched memory savoring verboten
childhood candied just desserts goodies
triggered courtesy painstakingly crafted
words acquiring unabashed kudos pièce
de résistance worth their literary weight
adrip with chewy, gooey, sugary, syrupy,

tasty... je nais se quoi ******* merciless
kneading indescribable gourmand eats
generating atavistic base primal grunts
and groans signal untethered animalistic
joie de vivre, how intoxicating to quaff
metaphorically brilliantly crafted lettered
epistles despite genre ordinarily ranking

less than favorite, but some fluke wormed
itself to choose bon appétit infusing aural
(if enunciated aloud as doth yours truly),
mental, spiritual, visual... delectation oft
times exultation unmatched if material
read more than one time synonymous to
to overindulge exceeding pleasure re:
body, mind, spirit triage with gluttony.
SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN updated *

Innocuous, yet unhealthy threat looms across
(air/radio) telecommunications devices
where smart electronic devices enthrall
and decree they co-opt role bing boss
linkedin with plenti networks that criss cross
even primitive computers utilizing DOS

by George, which archaic code
once powered Mill on the Floss,
now long since covered over
with flora I lichen and recognize as moss.

Surgeon general Admiral Vivek Murthy
helped found several health-
related advocacy groups and later
tackled the opioid epidemic
and e-cigarettes as surgeon
general during Obama administration.
As the Vice Admiral of US Public Health
Service Commissioned Corps,
he commanded a uniformed service
of 6,600 public health officers globally.

As twenty first Surgeon General of United States
strongly advises against, yet he does not boast
threat looms large coast to coast
watching more than five minutes at most
equivalent machination, the following I post
even at expense of suffering soul
subjected fires of hell;

eternally I will roast
re: guarding haunting experience
analogous visit by fashionably late ghost
recall exhausting 2020
presidential election coverage
able, eager, and ready to prey upon host
whereby curious George experiences
feeling noggin fried like toast.

A carefully worded (fake) communiqué
purportedly the brainchild of one freak
Matthew Scott Harris,
whose jargon puzzling as deciphering Greek
long story short while in utero,

he experienced cerebral leak,
said cheesy mousy man no longer meek
quite evident courtesy literary pique
his haughty style aiming to characterize
generic guy as self anointed Sheikh
sought after acceptance tepid and week.

Nevertheless he speaks/writes truth to power
aforementioned serious risk steeped within
social media platform sensory overload I ascribe,
whereby subliminal messages

voter's blitzkrieg does bribe,
albeit unconsciously,
hence me subsequent rhyme
equals forewarning in
(humane) league with mild diatribe
which receptive yours truly can transcribe.

All joking aside
oversaturation soaking up
analogous to heady delight
groom imbibes wedding his bride
presidential election aye chide
against viewing in excess
(five minutes at most)
affixed to live streaming broadcast
can find thee steadfast staring getting bug eyed
thus hoop fully let moderation serve as guide

cuz the eventual outcome re: guarding
president elect political experts cannot hide
though be wary lest premature ******* trumpets
sore loser candidate, that
bombastic egotistical ignoramus lied
cuz prejudice nsync with pompous pride
for four years to many
the webbed wide world let him slide,
now as one common Joe,
a hardened criminal he best bee tried.
Innocuous, yet unhealthy threat looms across
(air/radio) telecommunications devices
linkedin with plenti networks that criss cross
even primitive computers utilizing DOS

by George, which archaic code
once powered Mill on the Floss,
now long since covered over
with flora I lichen and recognize as moss.

Surgeon general (Jerome Michael Adams
20th Surgeon General of the United States)
strongly advises against, yet he does not boast
threat looms large coast to coast
watching more than five minutes at most
equivalent machination, the following I post

re: guarding haunting experience
analogous visit by fashionably late ghost
2020 presidential election coverage
able, eager, and ready to prey upon host
whereby curious George experiences
feeling noggin fried like toast.

A carefully worded (fake) communiqué
purportedly the brainchild of one freak
Matthew Scott Harris,
whose jargon puzzling as deciphering Greek
long story short while in utero,

he experienced cerebral leak,
said cheesy mousy man no longer meek
quite evident courtesy literary pique
his haughty style aiming to characterize
generic guy as self anointed Sheikh
sought after acceptance tepid and week.

Nevertheless he speaks/writes truth to power
aforementioned serious risk steeped within
social media platform sensory overload I ascribe,
whereby subliminal messages

voter's blitzkrieg does bribe,
albeit unconsciously, hence me subsequent rhyme
equals forewarning in league with mild diatribe
which receptive yours truly can transcribe.

All joking aside
oversaturation soaking up
presidential election aye chide
against viewing in excess (five minutes at most)
affixed to live streaming broadcast

can find thee steadfast staring getting bug eyed
thus hoop fully let moderation serve as guide
cuz the eventual outcome re: guarding
president elect political experts cannot hide

though be wary lest premature ******* trumpets
sore loser candidate, that
bombastic egotistical ignoramus lied
cuz prejudice nsync with pompous pride
for four years to many
the webbed wide world let him slide,
now as one common Joe,
a hardened criminal he best be tried.
ah jest wanna boomerang
back into the womb
versus being threatened
courtesy beastie boy gang
beating me to a pulp
after accurately discerning
being scared shitless pang
suddenly imagining myself
buffered, and buttressed
within zen Sibyl
prophet table Chinese philosophy
known as Yin and Yang.

No matter birth canal
long since got breached,
countless scores of years
I quickly grew
impossible mission to plunge
(think Nestea commercial)
headfirst back into utero,
haint got any got any
handy dandy blues clue,

nonetheless said wish
I broach to you,
whether ye reside in Baku
Guangzhou
Kalamazoo
Kathmandu
Peru
Thimphu
Timbuktu.

Sudden­ pang roared awake
nsync like blazing saddles
hot enough to sizzle steak
torpid, humid, and
arrid extra dry to take
breath away analogous vacuumed
courtesy fire breathing dragon
chilling parched scales in great lake
already this doubting

Thomas doth hanker
for global warming yore
less than six months ago
geesh for goodness sake,
when Earth did bake
triple digit temperatures
no thirst could slake,

thus intravenous feeding
in tandem with trach
still inadequate to brake
yours truly did pine... for chill
against dehydration, ah only to wake,
when came the morrow,
where Jack and Jill
sweat buckets, this

before they climbed uphill
akin to madding crowd
clamoring, thirsting, gulping...
every last drop
essentially emptying ****
immense reservoir spill
futilely swilling parched lips till...

Old cranks shrugged off
exceptionally hot weather, and did scoff
younger generation's creature comforts
old geezers recalled
back in the day
as laddies and Tom boy

lassies did slough
no trespassing signs
skinny dipping after they shuck off
clothes giddily swinging
atop highest bough
playing hooky averse

learning would ever payoff
pitying other kids in school
former gathering rosebuds...
around lunchtime hunger
relishing stealing stroganoff
under nose of Mister Groff,

one former German World War II,
who colluded with American "boys"
despite heavily decorated luftwaffe
and posthumously honored
Veterans day getting last laugh!
ah jest wanna boomerang back into the womb

No matter birth canal
long since got breached,
countless scores of years
I quickly grew
impossible mission to plunge
(think Nestea commercial)
headfirst back into utero,
haint got any got any
handy dandy blues clue,

nonetheless said wish
I broach to you,
whether ye reside in Baku
Guangzhou
Kalamazoo
Kathmandu
Peru
Thimphu
Timbuktu.

Sudden­ pang roared awake
nsync like blazing saddles
hot enough to sizzle steak
torpid, humid, and
arrid extra dry to take
breath away analogous vacuumed
courtesy fire breathing dragon
chilling parched scales in great lake
already this doubting

Thomas doth hanker
for global warming yore
less than six months ago
(geesh for goodness sake,
when Earth did bake
triple digit temperatures
no thirst could slake,

thus intravenous feeding
in tandem with trach
still inadequate to brake
yours truly did pine... for chill
against dehydration, ah only to wake,
when came the morrow,
where Jack and Jill
sweat buckets, this

before they climbed uphill
akin to madding crowd
clamoring, thirsting, gulping...
every last drop
essentially emptying ****
immense reservoir spill
futilely swilling parched lips till...

Old cranks shrugged off
exceptionally hot weather, and did scoff
younger generation's creature comforts
old geezers recalled
back in the day
as laddies and Tom boy

lassies did slough
no trespassing signs
skinny dipping after they shuck off
clothes giddily swinging
atop highest bough
playing hooky averse

learning would ever payoff
pitying other kids in school
former gathering rosebuds...
around lunchtime hunger
relishing stealing stroganoff
under nose of Mister Groff,

one former German World War II,
who colluded with American "boys"
despite heavily decorated luftwaffe
and posthumously honored
Veterans day getting last laugh!
Though (supposedly) only
     the good die young, urn holding
     cremated ashes a mere cup
full, every last man standing falls,
     cuz nobody else
     escapes un pup
yule lore blitzkrieg,
     or aging gracefully,

     the unavoidable eventual fate,
     (mortal fateful demise),
     sans the remaining unsung
anonymous peoples meet up
with the grim reaper,
     who will ineluctably disrupt
the carryings on
     with each and every individual

     (non plus ultra all other
     life forms as well)
     gradually or with abrupt,
and unannounced debut
     scythe lent lee appearing
     to whisk away the
     honest and/or corrupt
whether taking their

     first meal of the day,
     and/or last sup
per, perhaps sitting quietly,
     when body electric
     amp pare rent lee
     receives ohm
     my word fatal invite,
     whereat permanent shocking

     quiescence doth, sans
     stealth maneuver erupt
tragically, indiscriminately,
     and blithely
     mowing down innocent civilians,
     and/or training fate squarely
     upon heads of soldiers
     life during wartime,

where opposing armies regale
     while marching men go hup...
to three fore (akin
     to a story field day),
     winning ***** prize, viz
counting on qua,
     asper winning lottery
     and/or Stanley Cup

major blood bath rendered
     significant counting coup
whereat each opposing fighting
     force figuratively doth slew
the other, analogously dost defeat
making mince meat
re: as uniformed brigades in heat
of wanton killing

     fields sliced minced,
     chopped nada so vary neat,
via stealth unable dupe, nor cheat
death be not proud,
     et cetera, nonetheless,
     grimly forced to greet
     a bonanza coup won,
     only tubby beat

tin to pulp by adept
     skull and excellent fleet
of foot (top
     notch crafted) sweet
(albeit) temporary victory
     tasting said treat
assailing, bruiting , and/or
     weathering stance versus

     alternating between defensive
     and/or offensive
     use of cross bones,
     in a hail of bullets
     instantaneously didst greet
fast and furious i.e. suffering

     deadly raking har row
ring slaughter, an entire
     phalanx gone, where
     (metaphorical terrible swift sword)
no uniformed fighter
     can never call retreat.
until the cowed chickens come home to roost!

Sunlight streaming thru window
body electric of mine doth whet
begets hardiness to acclimate
against PECO shut off threat
ideal opportunity to spouse
analogous to her being my emotional pet
snuggling while standing in kitchenette
but accidental twerking
can guarantee yours truly
(me) being recipient of epithet.

I bundle up to stay warm
inside my cold man cave
particularly as average outside temperature
for November twentieth
two thousand and twenty three
hovers between high and low
fifty degrees fahrenheit
nearly brisk enough to see my breath.

I and/or the imaginary paramour
take our separate showers
during warmest hours of the day
less optimal to engage
in neighborly horseplay,
but more ideal for mistress (ha)
to pad around the unit donning her lingerie,
which nonverbally signals
(and greenlights)
more than voluminous words,
hence, I seal lips of mine

despite sudden aroused frisky urge
to burble exhibiting
debauched casanova behavior
accompanied courtesy illustrative
of suave debonair popinjay
rerouting spontaneous seduction today
indicative of throbbing
bulbous anatomical appurtenance,
which protrusion nullifies necessity of x-ray
to identify sudden
source of vasocongestion.

During daylight hours fresh air
arbitrarily, humorously, and noiselessly
streams and wafts
thru screened windows
ushering invisible scents
and audible sounds
of the webbed wide world here,
in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania
our neck of the woods
since seventeenth year
after second century Anno Domini.

Civilizations since time immemorial
revered fiery celestial ball
establishing their respective mythology
which scheme attempted to explain
divine thermonuclear processes
sustaining the nearest star,
which Sol Invictus did enthrall
housing an astronomical object
comprising a luminous spheroid of plasma
held together by self-gravity
within the heavenly vault
divine creator didst install
which supposed movement in the sky
signified daytime and nightfall
linkedin with planet earth
a veritable, observable, honorable,
and admirable terrestrial tetherball.
Yikes, aside from mental
     health re: psychotherapy,
     which haint the worse
cyst phase of being
     objectionably being called "old man",
     this poem doth tack
     toward the no body,
     and will address

     no illusory (no
     app for) pretensions
     alluding to verse,
the slow-mo ravages
     of aging, evincing
     and inching into
     solid AARP universe
suddenly (moon if fish int lee)
  
     impinges on endurance
     even crimping poetic
     raptures tubby terse
though (oh my this
     muttering ole hound) chronologically
     traversing that arbitrary, elliptically,
     and imaginary Maginot line
     i.e. almost three score year,

thy esprit de corps unlike
     complaining crotchety curmudgeon
     folks living here
Highland Manor situated
     in Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
not much older
     than me do daily air
lamentations kvetching even

     on days pitch perfect and clear
find some bugaboo to gripe about
     which dispositions hardly
     makes them endear
ring at least to myself,
     a baby boomer
     (lix orbitz licked) gear
ring up to enter

     sixth decade of life,
when a tell tale battle
      of the bulge paunch
      finds mine equatorial zone
somewhat flabby, a mockery
     of washboard blubbery
     abdominal sculpted tone
engirdled with loathsome

     ample "NON FAKE"
     lovely jowly handles
which I hate, though
     human flesh naturally prone
to the lowest point of resistance,
     and finds these
     lovely bones to groan.
What is normal? Ah, that difficult question to answer.
Yes, the ethos of society communicates (thru various
media) the gamut of tolerance. Nonetheless, a vague
boundary circumscribes the parameters. Though this
alert, civil, genteel individual pays obeisance (grudgingly)

to the coda of this society, he does attest to follow
the beat of his drummer ever since being a wee little sprout.
Herewith follows an additional introduction (albeit
in poetic format) to one **** sapiens amidst the children,
men and women within the human sea.

The Joy of Bing Skits zoid ™

When just a whippersnapper of a little boy
Me late mum and octogenarian pop agreed
For doctor removal of my adenoid
Less to prevent their only son from being coy

Than fear of said male heir to the Harris throne
Becoming an android
A less than agreeable likelihood, especially
In tandem with predilection of goy

This fateful outcome unfazed this now green giant,
Not the least bit annoyed
As captain crunch (before childhood end)
Beckoned yours truly with “A HOY”

Horrified that my parents would be so blithe
To steer their son clear to avoid
Psychotic outcome to deliver obliviousness
And thus bring inner joy

So, they sent their peculiar male progeny
Believing he to be Pink Floyd
Who found himself evicted desperately
And in sore need of gainful m ploy

So he began his therapy
In the orifice er office of Sigmund Freud
Who bore a striking resemblance
To a wooden pecked prickly shaped toy

This mental analysis delved into past – outcome
I felt less than overjoyed
Despite boss be addressed
As Oedipus wrecks and
pay verbal homage that did cloy

Dredging layered past devoid
Of love, yet
Flush with fallacious prevaricated abuse
From mister Lloyd Lavinsky,
A male lore demon of a grade school bully
Forsooth sanity he destroyed.
name calling on par with thrown stones
the celebrated sailing frog
     from Montgomery County
     went a court'n, or so the tale iz toad
to a grand ole mansion built around 1910,
     and e'en 'pon

     being razed ~2012 ah no dummy
     sea worthiness still plainly showed,
twas February 28th, 1968,
     when my father
     bought the house at 324 Level Road

majority deuce score plus nineteen years,
     rush back with unfettered exuberant zeal  
this aging elf spent psalm tranquil
     May days sung sotto voce
     atop memorialized, prized,

     shingled out, ship-shape valued,
     venerated, vip voted faux ****** demesne
     "Glen Elm" named private
     100+ acre wooded common weal

many a pitch perfect spring day
     found yours truly
     frankly basking atop the spacious roof
oft times begging the cosmic force

     irrationally lyft ting this Earthlinked bing,
     this uber dreamer
     willingly taken with "****"
(magic amazing dragons)

     presuming my absence,
     would not be missed and whereabouts
     no cause for alarm,
    but the usual antics of a contemplative goof

ball, and aware
     a minor for hair (Sunkist) gold
Helios innocently beckoned,
     this then sole Sol tanned

     within the solar raised fold
surrendering while atop
     the multi acred roof where any cold
melted away, whence became bathed
    like a bronze statue of auld.

zip pose zing the weather forecast
     donned wafted air
fragrant with flowered flora
     visibility for miles
     if ether crystal clear,

this high da way countless yards
     off the ground presented flare
approximating pristine floral display
     with powerfully poignant immunity
     against cackling, jeering, scowling,

     parents or other nemesis with glare
ring (smoke emitting nostrils),
     an idyll escape for this heir
to the throne of the mountain king,
     this make believe verdant submerged lair
unwittingly left a gaping hole,

     when Gambone Brothers
     industrial machinery voraciously
     made clean sweep,
     without a trace of former imp pier
     real resilient stately structured heart
     of "Glen Elm" could no longer rear

the well built when helplessly, holistically humbly
     brought to her knees
     (gory detail aye will spare),
nonetheless more than one pearl shaped tear

trickled down chafed
     sad reddened cheeks,
     whose head must veer
away asper thine subsequently
     blotted out never never never land

     eclipsed by transient rubble,
     thence vinyl city (dis) graced sacred space,
no doubt a great ache,
     when Saint Nick sought
     sought in vain for
     324 Templed throne every where!
Kate ***** and Anthony Bourdain
both beloved affluential cognoscenti,
     (took their life via cerebral hypoxia)
     neither death can one explain

left family and friends to speculate
     without lapsing into speculation
     impossible knot
     to veer off toward inane,

where fame nor fortune no immunity
     against unbeknownst
     deathly accursed mental illness
     impact their adherents

     plus affect large swath
     of population in the main
cuz, (strictly my opinion)
     the tightly woven

     world wide web doth plain
lee meld humanity linkedin
     by avast societal reign
forcing the global community to train

energies toward heightened
     awareness (yes in vain)
for those who tightened noose around neck
     as grief doth wax and wane

no doubt less prominant persons
     amidst every walk
of life give admittance
     to grim reaper, who doth stalk

every mortal being tempting surrender soul
     for eternal peace, where soul asylum
     sacrifice forsaken to black hawk
swooping down soundlessly

     to ****** priceless human life
     subsequently, whence
     benumbed onlookers gawk
aware how precarious, riotous, and tenuous
     the psyche offers no resistance,
     nor doth balk

at absent awareness,
     how collective adoration wears
a funereally ghostly, horribly immensely
     joylessly knitted veil

eludes measurement, though nonetheless
     unanimity that far reaching sadness
     weighs heavy on tear filled side of scale
witnessed by grievous next of kin,

     who struggle to accept severe de rail
ment of unsuspecting hidden agony im pail
ling corporeal flesh gouging body electric
     on par with a nine inch nail

jaggedly renting asunder (an unseen male
strum) pitching one incognito,
     no matter she/he appears hearty and hale
leaving a wake of inconsolable paroxysms
     causing thee human league to ail!
Contains More Than Kernel Of Truthful

alienation, expulsion, ostracization
     from body politick
     if member of society resistant,
     indifferent, adamant, et cetera
despite differentiation
     (across the figurative board)
     intolerance opposing ethos,
     asper unspoken social graces extant

(albeit manifested amidst diverse
     livingsocial variations) within
rubric of global civilizations primal,
     oral, nonverbal, et cetera codas

     automatically decreeing manual Kant
instilled from cradle
     to grave impossible mission scant
acceptance toward recalcitrant
     challenging precepts via rave and/or rant

thus when born into whatever culture,
     steeped with historical paradigm
one can protest superficial nigh cities
     til ivy blue in the face,
     or try to concoct a feeble rhyme
but culture club richly identified, endowed,
     brewed from heritage long time
ago until the cows come home to roost

hence creative pursuits one direction
     can turn to swiftly tailor
if harried styled
     with perceived restrictive parameters
     and cuss like a sailor
     with song and dance routine
(perhaps appearing on Dancing
     With The Stars), or

choosing subterfuge viz
     writing nefarious malware code, wheremailer
     daemons spring to life, when computer code
     following infinitely jesting illogic causing exhaler

(case in point - myself, hoot
     ends tubby humorous) as yukon gauge
yet another Internet end user might experience
     greater reason to rage
against the machine before
     turning rogue gushing renegade, stage
jing anarchy against disparity
     with equal pay, cuz a working wage

aint nuttin boot peanuts
so if strong willed, hook hairs
     if you appear like a putz
just realize doggerel
     of this pooch iz gaseous
     boot utterly without guts
and hangs around the junkyard
     with other nerdy mutts.
(alternately titled: whipping and pommel ling
das soar addle brain)

My most recent deuce score
     plus three bajillion ban
an nah ram ma orbitz
squared bob sponge pants
     day of birth passed uneventfully –
     (round el sol) saw me dan
sing around one average star, which Evan
chilly wool worth hilly exhibit

     death throe tulle pan
dum mo' knee yum -
     becoming a black hole sun,
     when photon illumination
     totally tubularly blinks
     out more'n Knots Lan
ding all countries
     with exception of Japan

(if only for explicit purpose
     of this poem) can
did lee stated fan
silly free and foot loose
     to appease the ghost of Ivan
the Terrible, who would
     phish she shuss lee
     never fin hush his

     rage against the machine
     foaming at the mouth
asper gar non sequitur
     spoiler alert hint  
     aye made debut 13th of Jan)
and now for no rhyme,
     nor reason mention
     nothing (by the way)

     written thus far tan
gent shill to the square      
     of hide bound
Halliburton Hippopotamus,
     whose first name
     Horton doth move in clan

destine fashion, oh...and nope
     definitely not related
     to ancestors of Kublai Khan
whose nickname Lloyd
though, whoa, wow,
     and yikes quite a time span

'tween that Mongol
     consigning, conning, and condemning
     “FAKE” deplorable trump
     ping app Paul
     ling Peters to Azkaban
nonetheless, aye never aver
     witnessed no fanfare
     for this common (c'mon) man

lettuce high tail gangnam style to San
Mateo (matt er factly
     founded, settled, and
     populated by Scottish
     donning Harris tweed

a hop, skip and jump by van
from this yan
key dude dull who lives ian
Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.
(originally composed approximately a half
dozen plus years since this revision now,
September 13th 2018 ~ 12:48 ante meridiem,
which missive, I came across scrolling down
volatile Memory Lane.)

As my recent blank day of birth
passed by unevent
     fully for this Earth
ling (one week ago this Friday,
     with another love handle
     round my abdominal girth
nostalgia and reminiscence
     for childhood (now...

     razed from sprawling roof
     home and hearth
days of yore
     (in modest mansion
     memorialized with sentimental mirth
dwelling only situated
     in mind's eye
     of this author's reduced

     to fading words-worth...
324 Level road
     Collegeville, Pennsylvania abode
gone with the wind
     faint feeble foray
     attempted with poetic code  
spurred this dim
     ming reflection soon...

     near to come decades
     will totally erode
reminiscence whar flowed
nebulously gauzy, fuzzy,
     and blurry cerebral blot, asper
     a Harris family emotional
     and spiritual sanctuary,
     (and mecca), that once glowed

with plenti good crackling cheer,
     a household load
did with cavorting cameraderie,
     and social IP
     (inter personal) node
where conviviality, gaity,
     levity, et cetera slowed
time to standstill, that irretrievable,

     where froggy all toad
went a court'n
     on golden fish pond...
not quite storybook
     past zipped faster
     with each subsequent year
seems to fly at instagram,
     snapchat, and shutterfly vear

really speed of light,
hence I decided to air
sentimental well a wear
how such compressed images
     a veritable splotch tear
drop shaped (pardon me
     asthma myopic eyes
     wax nostalgic, viz moisten stare

into metaphorical crucible where
Boyce and Harriet (the
     latter deceased) both did rear
myself and deux
     darling sisters (a prayer
could deliver,
     no greater loving siblings –
     all three of us near

approximately close in age, ah mere...
ah such thoughts
     doth wince the psyche
     of this frankly earnest,
     modest smart Alick
     of me (just another brick)
now this blurb on
     many a virtual wall

     with just a mouse click
away for any to read,
     and comment with sleight flick
of wrist if the mood
     evokes any reaction.
smitten with a forsaken long lost love
     *** plus years ago,
aye since didst roam'n o'er hill and dale
     as one heart broken beau

twas being cow warring utter oxymoron,
     whereby thy perfect match I do
frankly admit foolishly out sourcing
     of (good NOT FAKE nor bad) grief emo

shun hull distress disgraceful,
     which hide de lee recognize coveted prime mate,
     (who shared love of playing scrabble,
     and born same January 13th birthdate,

     yet six orbits thy senior)  
     mine golden opportunity to lose,
     viz ma mish mashed aggravating huff flew
vee yam this then

     young asinine buck unwittingly  
     inflicted long forgot 'til
     ear layer t'day thee spouse
     showed me an photograph,

     when suddenly this lix spittle
     curmudgeonly bard
     unexpectedly experienced
     abysmal love stricken agony
  
     (that despite pro missing to pledge -
     while taking a knee -
     troth Abby Robin - hoo
became thy lawful legal wife - of Jew

whoosh heritage juiced like me, and knew
instantaneously upon
     setting eyes this then boyish lad -
     hood bid tootle loo

at bachelorhood, when she eyed thyself
     (wedded now deux plucks decades),
     though no moo
nee tomb aye name,

     thus har courtship rocky, hen new
idea how tubby affectionate,
     hence early married life  
     pitched 'tween Scylla and Charybdis

fondness (albeit ex post facto) hike queue
this poetic beat (fashionably late love note)
ye, whose Capricorn astrological sign
     didst bid eternal happiness
    now delayed repercussions I rue!
The inescapable reality
     consigning one at birth
     automatically includes no breath
oblige premise, whereat
     existence can terminate
     with sudden,
     and untimely inexplicable death
cruel ploy wrought,

     whence randomly begat
     into this webbed wide world
grim reaper nonchalantly,
     asper macabre Vaudevillian
     character cane twirled
automatically infers
     cessation of livingsocial
     with no forewarning,

     where nutty squirreled
memories become indelibly engraved
     (photogravure) inherently
     pervasive I apprise imperiled,
which ever present
     unavoidable demise,
(albeit a bleak thought)
     looms larger as orbitz

     (demarcating sans initial debut),
     each subsequent anniversary flies
faster as staying alive finds
     every mortal getting
     older, where guise,
which gloomy thought didst arise
with the windmills
     of my mind particularly,

     sans unwelcome thought,
     when my person dies
came to mind, while subtle
     diminution to exercise
asthma body, mind, and spirit
     approaches sixth decade (come
     January 13th, 2019),
     the harsh reality lies

within this cognitive,
     intuitive, and fully
     still operative flesh and bone
aware of becoming deceased
     increases in direct proportion
     as another year done
and all to quickly, irrevocably gone,
when deplorably belatedly

     late life self discover
     re: visa vis hone
passion with words specially,
     possibly, feasibly encrypted
     while supinely prone
on deathbed with
     onset of rigor mortis,
     yet just barely

     enough buffer'n strength
     to etch said chicken scratchings,
hens forth before
     mine unbeknownst cremation
whereat Facebook friends invited -

     cost will be...ahem...
     (no more than one rolling stone)
     presently concludes any
     subsequent poetic endeavors
     shot thru with quasi morbid tone.
FROM BIKINI BOTTOM TIMES...

...Spongebob Squarepants...what...atoll...?
plunged into where,...no way...toilet bowl...
supposedly, when the ghostly hand ex-toll
ling praise from his late creator, and master

meow mind of popular Stephen Hillenburg
cast said main character in clean new role,
an unexpected greasy, grimy, grisly, grouchy,
grungy gruff peagreen ******* ***** troll

snatched the unsuspecting
cheerful happy go lucky
animated fellow, who lives
in a pineapple under sea

(at 124 Conch Street) quite
self absorbed with Gary
his pet snail (not answering
questions at this time), we

understand emotional devastation,...
and possibly got flushed....sniffling
and sobbing heard...discontinuation,
this could wreak something
offal to all those avid landlubber

fans (many grownups) cling
to cautious optimism, but accept
vigilant prayers believing
quirk of fate could turn tide
of events & cannot dismiss linking

Russian collusion with attendant
rogues gallery, nor abandoning
any in house political conspiracy,
where top Navy brass calling
attention to an uncommonly

unusual migrant barnacles casing
with doddering fogey "Watergate
Plumbers" in tow absconding
before they could be apprehended
(hmm... something seems fishy)

haint no logical explanation, why
anyone would seek squeeze zing
the porous life out of such a
lovable...how unsinkable... accosting
...argh das **** and span hubble...

such a congenial, gentle, likable...
made himself come to life, (and
make believe to fans) achieving
he really existed, when birthed
from figment of imagination aching

tub be accepted and loved (by other
than Mister Rogers) acquiring
water world renown purportedly
slated to receive Krusty Krab shape
formica plaque engraved with his

name inlaid with finest enameling,
meanwhile...stay tuned at amazing
undrying resiliency as saturated media
updates how beloved soaking  
hero does wetter adversity!
concerning yours truly
poor righteous leftist sole.

Attempting nightly ritual
nsync with sole and
instep of beat
January second 11:33
two thousand twenty two
footwear equipped with
custom made cleat
proudly standing tall
(think) as an elite
able, eager, and ready
to sprint skyhigh fleet
ting into netherlands
(towering well over
other wiry contestants,
hence exception to

maximum height waved
outrageous illegitimate forfeit
chore blithely Atlas shrugged off),
the fountain head
whereby marathoner Olympian
amidst godly pantheon did greet,
then melted starter blocks
competitors crouched tigerlike
deftly gunning generating barreling heat
fast as greased lightning
Achilles catapulted courtesy blur,
zee mister (oak kay)
tree - man, i.e. helpmeet,
he roundly squared off
accompanied by his wifely entreat
for sakes Pete.

Thus situated, positioned, and finagled
husbandry duty obliging the misses,
no matter she kick started
(think thrashing outsize toddler)
childish task deemed
markedly cockameemie design,
subsequently these little feet (mine)
stood stolid upon bedroom floor
she did man date me,

supplicating, necessitating,
imploring, and decrying divine
intercession, cuz thee mademoiselle
did authoritatively assign,
thee mister getting mine
handy dandy grip upon her supine
corpulent physique
outstretched leaden legs
awaiting (the missus)

salute perfect sign
to commence powerfully
prying and pulling
first straight then nine
tee degrees practically pulling
footloose and eventually
detaching fancy free
thunder thighs, what strong
amazing anatomical design

nearly defying might
of super rich a$$ a nein
bird brainer heron
an ill eagle cro-magnon scheme
to untie clodhoppers
snug as a bug in a rug,
whence laces unknotted free
and clear whirled,
wide webbed formerly tangled skein
fo shoe more intolerable
than swallowing quinine.
Attempting nightly ritual
nsync with sole and
instep of beat
January second 21:08
two thousand twenty
footwear equipped with
custom made cleat

proudly standing tall
(think) as an elite
able, eager, and ready
to sprint skyhigh fleet
ting into netherlands
(towering well over
other wiry antennae thin contestants,

hence exception to
maximum height waved
outrageous illegitimate forfeit
chore blithely Atlas shrugged off),
whereby said marathoner Olympian
amidst godly pantheon did greet,
competitors crouched tigerlike
ironically melting starter blocks

deftly gunning generating barreling heat
fast as greased lightning
Achilles catapulted courtesy blur,
zee mist tree (oak kay)
man, i.e. helpmeet,
he roundly squared off
accompanied by his wifely entreat.

Thus situated, positioned, and finagled
husbandry duty obliging the misses,
no matter she kick started
(think thrashing outsize overgrown toddler)

childish task deemed
markedly cockameemie design,
subsequently these little feet (mine)
stood stolid upon bedroom floor
she did man date me,

I supplicated, necessitated,
implored, and decried divine
intercession, cuz thee mademoiselle
did authoritatively assign,

thee mister getting mine
handy dandy grip upon her supine
corpulent physique
outstretched leaden legs
awaiting (Abby) salute perfect sign

to commence powerfully
prying and pulling
first straight then nine
tee degrees practically prostrating self
footloose and eventually
detaching fancy free
thunder thighs, what strong
amazing anatomical design

nearly defying might
of super Matt nein
bird brainer heron,
an ill eagle cro-magnon scheme
to untie clodhoppers

snug as a bug in a rug,
whence laces got knotted
freaking me out clearly
out this world,
wide webbed formerly
Gordian tangled skein.
(buzzfeeding, kickstarting, needling **** noggin)

An effort to recall word, phrase,
musician... indigenous tribe...
most frustrating literary
endeavor to das scribe

aggravating enough to sub
bourbon spur teetotaler to imbibe
and/or nsync, whereby soul searching
devil's advocate demands bribe.

Lil brokeback Engelbert Humperdinck
(born Arnold George Dorsey) bent edict coercion
(think ****** mores)
scaring stripes off blushing zebra
bunched unencumbered vice pliable straw

aforementioned pablum admittedly "fake"
birthed within cerebral tenderloin
of impractical joker,
whereby fifty plus shades
of gray matter (mine)

chafed and rubbed raw
prevarication playfully did overdraw
and tax poetic license writ courtesy this paw
poor putz offal declension
sprouted within mum maw

noun tent to verb (bull eyes - red) to draw
flak, but merely to harmlessly entertain
so accept apologies (mine)
verses calling strong (lanced) arm of law.

I (garden variety poetaster) reckon fair game
media personalities grist for rumor mill, though lame
explanation given (funny first and surname)
adopted by supposed "finest middle-of-the-road
balladeers around," who co opted his stage name

from authentic Engelbert Humperdinck; selfsame
prodigy circa 1 September 1854 –
27 September 1921
German composer, who wrote, I gently exclaim
the opera Hansel and Gretel - a Grimm fairytale

actually frightful saga - read countless times
setting me boyhood imagination aflame
with mailer daemons, who haunted dreams
(mine) 'course in retrospect material tame
compared/contrasted with current pandemic

analogous as if mother Earth -
a metaphorical dame
experiencing long overdue reprieve, cuz shame
on **** sapiens belching pollutants
at any price to garner fortune and fame.
(in praise of immortality)

Modesty an understatement,
when eyes chance
to look askew at looking glass,
mine reflection caught at a glance,
an old man's piercing dart

mirrors my blinkered acquaintance
faint recognition communicates
immediate tacit admittance
boyish good looks faded
with morning glory of youth
as senescence didst advance.

Similar to the strikingly handsome
Dorian Gray, this mortal
strictly shares penchant to affiance
a pact with father time, and

devoutly pledge allegiance
to remain forever unaffected
with ill fated biological alliance
even if mandate to pay

with my soul as sole allowance
to stave off the ravages of old age
maintaining glowing ambience
of boyish good looks, or...die...
twill be to late for an ambulance

to rush lifeless body
forthwith to hospital emergency,
an immediate appearance
of rigor mortis, a dead give away.

Cumbersome degradation of
corporeal essence breeds arrogance
born of desperation,
where chronological ascendance
robs cherished commodity,

thus pained angst
to suffer aging accidentally evinced
looking askance
hints of unavoidable assistance
when wracked by incontinence,
thus rendering incumbent orderly attendance,

hence awareness awakened to singular
choice as avoidance,
where vigilance espies silent auction
as decrepitude ousts clutching buoyance
quickly fading steamrolling capacitance
to cling (by the merest thread)

fat or slim chance
against depredations of...
inevitable circumstance trumpeting
"NON FAKE" absent cognizance,
sans horribly wizened wrinkled countenance!
Happy 83rd birthday to thy cremated mom

Harriet Harris fought tooth and nail
Mother succumbed
to terminal illness without fail
Ovarian/ Uterine Cancer to no avail
hosted by death feasted fancy
at Oyster Bay metastasized inducing this male
the sol son to grapple as psyche didst ail.
***********
Major organs compromized grim reaper and
carried corpse into dead zone as a keeper brand
donned as one Canarsie flashy dame grand
ball room dancer didst skittered in right hand
side o' me noggin, the idea flit ta left land
of gray matter thru me mined task didst ex panned

foregoing bidding on e-bay, ruminate how trite
online shenanagins, never asking nor knowing spite
most likely raged within yar being,
which lack of filial duty haint right
to be near where psyche flails quite
understandably, but no matter matthew scott

never did ask, how emotions most clear aflame
with anger writhing asper your terminal plight
vis a vis injustice to ****** desire with shroud of night
arising each morning to brilliant light

ye, thy lover of life becoming ashen gray
with recurring incomplete bucket list that may
already, a dozen plus years ago - neigh
aye methinks, so much deprived of grandchildren ply
their oars thru the time stream, how **** sigh
to partake whence thee drew final breath thy
avoid seeing thee stiffen with rigor mortis, why...

did unlucky dice throw of fate
rob and steal unattained goals ye strove with grate
fully before out bidden by dead souls, who hate
mortals to complete, thus truncate a lifelong mate
to papa, whom recouped severe loss, though his pate

undoubtedly flits with remembrance
of thee one he did highly rate
despite occasions, where spats hood did vitiate

this son feels he did not booster morale at all
with Huzzah, but stood mute in proximity
when ye didst call
in kitchen of century old stone
mansion built and hall

ways echo wing the absence sans pall
in droning sounds of silence, a squall
vacuumed a key per, a gal fairly tall
whose son now reflects how many a wall
he figuratively erected shuttered from y'all

that home razed, yet memory of complex edifice
still intact, averse to let eyes sweep, the home I miss
analogous to house at Pooh’s Corner
viz shared with a younger and older loving sis

both edging into their twilight zoned time on earth
re: the outer limits of expected longevity, yet stoking
the coals essence of each their respective hearth
324 Level Road Collegeville above recaptured
with recollections of merriment and mirth
oft occasions this sol heir withholding telling worth

thee ness, and must therefore purge such grief
considerably less than when pages
of me life seemed like a shuffled sheaf
or soon after yar demise, a sense of drowning
without recourse to being rescued,
nor near enough to grasp hold of any reef

that home stead, blessedly played important role
constituent key residence like quasar pole
sated light years removed from civilization, when goal
acquisition February 28th 1968 won land slide cole

essence tract of idyllic radiance upon open space
already slated tubby outfitted, transformed for race
sing urbanity asper mobile Americans at a pace
greater than mother nature shows amazing grace
as commercialization takes charge and doth efface,

the once bucolic, ecologic, and idyllic
forces this sentimental sir
to latch upon steady brace
bemoaning and tempted to take ace

hip of hemlock to forego discontent with bing hue
man, who cherished tender mother-son glue
and wondrous tribulation, 
I harbored enshrined and unwittingly flew
from pristine sanctuary secured
deeply in consciousness,

which access to retrieve circumstances
of myself as a boy still dwells in this man shun - clew
less nothing can recreate, nor reconstruct boyhood,
teenage and adult hood pangs
scare me wide-awake
whar frightful dreams serve as boo

stirring of dormant sentiment,
especially thee 13th day n 11th month
of each year
the aura, charisma, and persona, veer
dims sum milk of human kindness bequeathed tear
ring inner sanctum, where
this offspring doth miss his mum, he doth rare
lee shed light, only when faux pause (all faux)
aye scrawl a mini opus knowing you will

never be cognizant, extant, for me to grant mere
cathartic expunging in situ flowing emotions hear
able only to live kith and kin or
akin to Rapunzel unfurling tress buffeted hair

inside my being for love unspoken dare
ring father hood got taught true value, sans two beautiful
grand daughters ye would marvel
poignant traits, and disbelief that this bare
wren wove within DNA lasses who usher an air.
to my long deceased mom...
Harriet Harris née Kuritsky

My mother succumbed to a terminal illness
two score minus three orbitz passed away
no matter she fought tooth and nail
to keep ovarian/uterine cancer at bay
disease metastasized throughout major organs,
hence demise found grim reaper to carry
her Bag of Bones into The Dead Zone -
where Misery loves company
Four Past Midnight
well nigh seventeen
and a half years ago to the day
thus a flash in a bedpan idea flit
thru me mind setting task at hand
to forego bidding on eBay

and ruminate how she felt
knowing her end to be near, -
where her psyche did flay
with anger writhing at the injustice
to ****** thee lover of life
her deadened flesh became ashen gray
yet, a recurring memory
replays in my mind,
whereby this ordinarily
sole sunny trooper
blackened hole within her sons' psych
doth feebly booster morale
with a lame duck uttered hay
huzzah, but flashback to last moment

I saw mother, yet
merely stood mute in close proximity
within the kitchen of thee predominant
century old mansion stone
built home donned with English ivy
once glorious complex edifice
sans domicile razed
no stone left unturned
remains longer only in me noggin
twittering memories flutter
and tweet like a blue jay
keeping visage intact
the house (formerly known as Glen Elm)
at 324 level road,

Collegeville, Pennsylvania -
amazed at my ability to recall an okay
dough key mixed meadow
for with many emotions arising
from where siblings
and me did blessedly play
our oasis, a rural route number 2 -
or rd2 for short a constituent key
per our residence, which like a quay
Tsar seemed light years
removed from civilization,
a remnant tract of idyllic ray

dee hance, upon with open space slated
to become outfitted
and transformed into an urban stay
shin for mobile Americans hopscotching
as short term owners of a new home they
never knew what fractious
mother-son trials and tribulation,
now invisibly harbored and enshrined
forever pristine sanctuary
denominated secular way
down deep in thy conscious, which access
to retrieve nada so

excellent circumstances of youth
(oftimes meditating while dwelling
upon expansive roof
many an outlook raised)
on par with hop, jump,
or skipping to Uruguay
but nothing can recreate
and make real one again
deconstructed house where dwelt pangs
of pre and post adolescence
no matter I mouth
and soundlessly mutter oy vey
till the cows come home,

cuz the days of boyhood,
teenage and emerging adulthood
(matter of fact, this heir -
overstayed his welcome)
accentuated courtesy corrosive
contumely contretemps
thus ambivalent feelings
doth owe way
kin this day of the month
every year the aura, charisma,
and persona delighting like galena zany
persona, thine late mother of pearl

and milk of human kindness
yes, this cingular male offspring doth miss
when he gives pause (all faux),
thus aye scrawl this poetic mini opus
knowing full well,
ye will never be cognizant,
but cathartic to press
any black key (on this laptop)
and expunge thru
Times New Roman font size 12
discombobulated words

buffeted bitta bing bitta bang
in situ jewel flowing emotions
akin to Rapunzel unfurling long tress
buffeted by the war wren inside mine being
for love unspoken, I confess
and tis thru fatherhood
(which beautiful granddaughters
ye would marvel) despite obloquy
when ye and papa de address
me in harsh terms, but objectionable traits
wove within mein kampf DNA less

or more, and angst riddled
body, mind and spirit
rent asunder with emotional duress
essentially encoded within
the twisted sisterly chromosome strands
that wrought Matthew Scott Harris,
now the boss and master
of his own psychological domain,
whereat he closes with mum --
I feel terrible ye got angry and cross!
Later today after
     all votes get cast
post final countdown,
     the winning candidates
     ought to be known
     way before break fast
cometh on the lanced
     morrow (for champions),

     nonetheless
     my fingers and toes crossed,
     that those donned diametrically
     opposed to establishmentarian
     (reed conservative
     buttoned down
     MAGA stalwarts) deemed
     more dangerous than

     beastie boys, or
     foo fighting, Outkast
sans, these progressive forward
     thinking Democratic activists
     (purportedly threatening
     gerrymandered territory,
     where white Anglo Saxon
     Protestant hegemony dominates

     status quo regarding
     dhow ting Thomas Nast
     tee Donkeys as
     hashtagged by Trump),
     I pray these true
     purring blue state
     representatives clinch,
the majority to oust vast

Republican politicians cowed,
     demeaned, and excoriated
     for NOT fawning
     prince supple lee,
nor paying expected
     obeisance as mealy
mouth sycophants, that she
push hilly accede toward

     belligerent, execrable,
     and incriminating, nee
Machiavellian hot headed,
     quasi coiffed,
     donned, and puffed que
hair raising bully,
     whose vindictive
     uber lyft tartly tinged

     tongue lashing,
     they risk acerbic
     punitive un re
lent ting vitriol stemming
     from recalcitrance determined
     by the fuhrer wannabe
wool shear lee be silenced
     unless that bigoted,

     "FAKE" man hat
     tinned unabashed, unhinged,
     and unruly
     villainous president we
the village people nominated
     to bulldoze zee
American free
dumbs, now made irrelevant!
abuzz with Autumnal thrum

Divine myriad biota amidst
heavenly Lily of the valley
(Convallaria majalis),
he didst imaginatively greet
Edenic heavenly terra
incognita immeasurably sweet

nature's ensemble proffering
Gaia's quintessential orchestration
resplendent sensational treat
natural splendour regaling,
this fellow wayfarer
happenstance gifted autochthonous peoples

espied proud specimens unobtrusive
planted armada, viz sleek bodies fleet,
of foot while me accidentally
risking, schlepping, traipsing... offbeat
winessed unschooled tribe,
yet verily synchronized,

primed, muscled... athlete
their soundless rhythmic swiftly tailored
flit to and fro upon poetic
unshod calloused feet
carefully, gingerly, lightly...
I shod dully tread nsync

toward drumlins upbeat
mouthing, kneading, imbibing... glorious
ebullient choral unadulterated feat
extemporaneously kickstarting crisp and neat
pow hour full rhythm across
analogous macroscopic excellent spreadsheet

inducing their sonorous symphonic
roundelay unfamiliar tweet,
whereby flora and fauna future meal to eat
oblivious regarding mine seat
dated existence, which quiescent aesthete,
yours truly basked,

froliced, luxuriated... complete
as once innocent hymnals kindled atrocity
this observer, spectator aghast white as sheet,
how civilization's machinations didst deplete
terrestrial firmament within one fell stroke
eradicated once pristine unbroken

promises chiseled to cheat
rightful owners expansive swath
over yonder til ocean and land did meet
Europeans scoured seas one after another
lumbering bulwarked fleet
exhausting resources while simultaneous

mowing down aborigines
grotesquely analogous harvesting wheat
indiscriminate deliberate genocide
decimating indigenous tribes beat
defenseless against microbial
weapons of mass destruction,

thus only within third blind eye
courtesy invisible paleface with tenderfeet
strictly envisioned Perkiomen Valley
once abundantly populated
with ample game during cold and/or heat
paradise unbroken stretched hinterland,

where place names mock to pay hollow tribute,
where native peoples no longer replete
vinyl city amidst amidst graveyard
lovely bones turned to dust
paved over by mainstreet.
abuzz with Autumnal thrum

Approximately six weeks since August sum
er re: lazy dog days witnessed lolling about
sipping cocktails, whose primary ingredient ***
pulled and sated esophageal tract nsync
with thirstily quaffing Slivovitz plum
wine to experience becoming comfortably numb
inebriate of air also suffused mine being
keeping yours truly mum
envious fauna simply exist
oblivious to earn an income.

Divine myriad biota amidst
heavenly Lily of the valley
(Convallaria majalis),
he didst imaginatively greet
Edenic heavenly terra
incognita immeasurably sweet

nature's ensemble proffering
Gaia's quintessential orchestration
resplendent sensational treat
natural splendour regaling,
this fellow wayfarer
happenstance gifted autochthonous peoples

espied proud specimens unobtrusive
planted armada, viz sleek bodies fleet,
of foot while me accidentally
risking, schlepping, traipsing... offbeat
winessed unschooled tribe,
yet verily synchronized,

primed, muscled... athlete
their soundless rhythmic swiftly tailored
flit to and fro upon poetic
unshod calloused feet
carefully, gingerly, lightly...
I shod dully tread nsync

toward drumlins upbeat
mouthing, kneading, imbibing... glorious
ebullient choral unadulterated feat
extemporaneously kickstarting crisp and neat
pow hour full rhythm across
analogous macroscopic excellent spreadsheet

inducing their sonorous symphonic
roundelay unfamiliar tweet,
whereby flora and fauna future meal to eat
oblivious regarding mine seat
dated existence, which quiescent aesthete,
one run of the mill human basked,

frolicked, luxuriated, tasted... complete
as once innocent hymnals kindled atrocity
this observer, spectator aghast white as sheet,
how civilization's machinations didst deplete
terrestrial firmament within one fell stroke
eradicated once pristine unbroken

promises chiseled to cheat
rightful owners expansive swath
over yonder til ocean and land did meet
Europeans scoured seas one after another
lumbering bulwarked fleet
exhausting resources while simultaneous

mowing down aborigines
grotesquely analogous harvesting wheat
indiscriminate deliberate genocide
decimating indigenous tribes beat
defenseless against microbial
weapons of mass destruction,

thus only within third blind eye
courtesy invisible as one paleface (me)
who sports tenderfeet
and gnarly growing toenails
strictly envisioned Perkiomen Valley
once abundantly populated
with ample game during cold and/or heat
paradise unbroken stretched hinterland,

where the streets have no name
and native people's place names
mock to pay hollow tribute,
where native peoples no longer replete
vinyl city amidst graveyard
lovely bones turned to dust
paved over by Mainstreet.
Greenlighted signal activating
opprobrious rapacious incestuous grievous...
Alabama Human Life Protection Act approved
desecration against women enrages
this Pennsylvania older married male
females inherent reproductive rights violated

occasioning this extemporaneous diatribe
absolute zero peace of mind
extant among national female community
must exhort against inherent pro choice
to terminate unwanted pregnancy,
especially if vicious physical molestation

forced to be encumbered
with violent impregnation
feeding in utero parasite of HATE
unwanted baby constant reminder
brutal assault ******
potential barbarous perpetrators

empowered misogynistic beasts
overturn sanctity biology bestowed
child bearers revolt against demoniacal
legislation, this fellow livid with rage
foments revolution, he doth decry
unfair penalty sabotaged privacy

endangering mental, physical, spiritual
well being, asper threatening welfare
concerning calamitous encroachment
cancerous, egregious, ferocious...brutality
lurks around every corner
nonconsensual execrable attacks,

vis a vis brutal, contagious, deleterious...
creating hellacious environment
jeopardizing sanctity, safety, security
renting asunder irrecoverable,
irreparable, irrevocable...undeserved
cursed fate unleashed by one pen stroke

nullifying sacred covenant bestowed
since dawn (and eve) of consciousness
maternal pact cleft as horrible incorrigible
jackanapes knock living daylights
every girl, lass, lady...

she must fear all approaching men
suddenly, I become suspect
driving chasm between both genders,
thus the emergency alarm clangs
deafening sensitive eardrums!
regarding President elect
Donald John Trump.

As a cruel joke to self,
I imagined myself as a Republican
for that one glorious day
voting for the candidate
who clinched the nomination
as our next commander in chief
and still reeling in the heady years
when said unnamed person
graced the covers
of countless magazines,
(especially those hard copy publications
with a politically right bent),
and electronic mass media platforms
when one felt proud
being the sole pachyderm in the room.

Within mein hermitage
now dwells one
disheveled miserable
troglodyte with a pet gecko,
who wept a tearful river of joy
upon hearing unbelievable news,
(about a lucky man with panache,
whose ghost writer wannabe
yours truly would relish),
albeit at snail's pace schlepped

finally proclamation emancipation
gave reasonable rhyme
yours truly to *******
not prematurely,
subsequently I leapt
out the window
without a parachute
of penthouse suite apartment
into the air, and kept
myself aloft completing

one after another sumersault,
flapping vestigial wings
at the speed of sound and except
for minor nuisance of gravity,
nevertheless landed feet first and crept
a secret portal
back into mine man cave adept
to survive alone
in the wilderness
with pointers
from the late **** Proenekke.

Two hundred and ninety five electoral votes
in layman's terms 72,600,307 votes (50.9%)
tallied across country,
gave ample reason
to do the hustle videlicet
grinding hips and bump
with the missus
decked out as Wilma Flintstone
after Trump declared victory
in a brief trunk hated speech,
an excerpt taken
quoting his exact words
at the Palm Beach
convention center in Florida.

"I’ll be fighting for you, and with every breath in my body,” Trump told supporters who had gathered at Palm Beach County Convention Center to cheer him on. “I will not rest until we deliver the strong, safe and prosperous America that our children deserve and that you deserve.”

Admirable, (yet reviled)
teetotaler contender
who hailed from Queens
orating at above named venue
finally plopped and fizzed out,
whose non verbal
body language issued relief,
thus spoke volumes
after Kamala Harris formerly
deprecated, implicated, and prosecuted  

adequately bad mouthed
to curry distasteful impression
of freshly minted sexagenarian
fêted after his unrigged win
analogous to reeling
once in a lifetime
catch of the day
hook line, and sinker  
anchored courtesy Taj Mahal replica
nearly bankrupted him
into dustbin of history

good ciao electorate voted in
lovable loutish oaf,
which four years ago
majority of voters chose to dump
best mandated to cavort
with zoot suited frump
on any given Wednesday
available to ****
rotund barenaked lady merging
into humongous protoplasmic lump.

Despite being caught
red handed concerning
more'n where's the beef
burnished braggadocio brilliantly
stole 2016 election
under nose of Hillary Clinton
abused role, when tasked
as commander in chief,
nevertheless touted with bravado

courtesy totalitarian zealots
across the webbed wide world
good ole Charlie Brown nemesis
deportation apologist
causing nothing but good grief,
hence yours truly quite elated
upon occasion when figurative new leaf
turned over and booted out
as more daring than Baghdad thief.

Hit the ground running
with nary a second to waste
Donald Trump, when
Mike Pence and company at the helm
blindsided proving their steely eyed mettle
despite victory lap Democrats did taste
ushered in COVID-19 game plan
bolstering pandemic defences,
where prior administration sorely misplaced
priorities United States Lady Liberty
wantonly, undeservedly, subsequently
her reputation disgraced.

Hope springs eternal -
ah tis amazing grace
yours truly suddenly
brimming with optimism
able bodied diverse cabinet to erase
formerly inept sycophants
with intentions base
running amok within White House
at long last competent
candidate won the race,
this tatterdemalion doth welcome
ye back Donald Trump,
no matter pulled off disappearing act
at Mar-A-Lago without a trace
sore loser teed off absent American
delivering his humiliating
defeat coup de grâce.

Adieu after presenting façade  
gussied poetic opinion editorial
donning guise as antithetical braying donkey
failing miserably to convince readers
without the help of  “artificial intelligence”
I cannot succeed generating “fake news”
dressed up as a senseless rhyme.
Within mein hermitage
now dwells one euphoric troglodyte who wept
upon hearing unbelievable news,
(albeit at snail's pace schlepped
finally proclamation emancipation
gave reasonable rhyme yours truly to *******
(not prematurely), subsequently I leapt

into the air, and kept
myself aloft completing
one after another sumersault and except
for minor nuisance of gravity
nevertheless landed feet first and crept
back into mine mancave adept
to survive alone in the wilderness.

Seventy four million popular votes
tallied across country,
gives ample reason to grind hips and bump,
(cuz the most votes
cast for any presidential candidate in history),
which Republican contender finally plopped
hook line and anchored

courtesy Taj Mahal replica sinker
into dustbin of history
good riddance electorate voted out
loutish oaf, which voters chose to dump
best mandated to cavort with zoot suited frump
on any given Wednesday available to ****
rotund barenaked lady merging
into humongous protoplasmic lump.

Caught red handed concerning
more'n where's the beef
stole 2016 election
under nose of Hillary Clinton
abused role, when tasked
as commander in chief

good ole Charlie Brown nemesis
caused nothing but grief,
hence yours truly quite elated
upon occasion when figurative new leaf
turned over and booted out
as more onerous than Baghdad thief.

Hit the ground running
with nary a second to waste
Joe Biden, Kamala Harris and company
proving their steely eyed mettle
after victory lap Democrats did taste

usher in COVID-19 game plan
bolstering pandemic defences
where prior administration sorely misplaced
priorities United States Lady Liberty
wantonly, undeservedly, subsequently
her reputation disgraced.

Hope springs eternal - ah tis amazing grace
yours truly suddenly brimming with optimism
able bodied diverse cabinet to erase
formerly inept sycophants with intentions base
running amok within White House

at long last competent candidate won the race
adieu Donald Trump, who
did disappearing act at Mar-A-Lago without a trace
sore loser teed off absent American
delivering his humiliating defeat coup de grâce.
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