I'm older now

You told me you loved me tonight


I cried

I'm older now
I held him and kissed him goodnight

I'm older now
I went to a restaurant and my mother handed me a glass of wine

I'm older now
Kept quiet in the face of violence

I'm older now
Helped make breakfast

I'm older now
I'm the age they thought appropriate for me to love fiercely

The age they thought okay for you to want me

The age we always talked about like some distant memory

The one we used in all our arguments
All our reasons

Now

I am here

And I don't know what to do with it.

Almost scared to want it

Almost.

I loved all my presents
But they weren't what I really wanted
Despite asking for them

What I want
I am scared to want
What I wanted
Once,





Was you.

I have eyes
and you helped me see the beauty of life

I have ears
and you helped me hear the melody of life

I have lips
and you helped me share the stories of my life

I have hands
and you helped me reach the people in my life

I have legs
and you helped me stand strong against the challenges of life

I have a heart
and you made it smile, jump and beat,
you're a special part of my God-given life.

I have all of these,
But, you can't be with me in this life.

I hope you know all
that I don't at all anymore
I think it's for sure