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Mark Lecuona Feb 2012
What if I told you I think I have a brain tumor?
And that I’ve tried to make contact with the chosen one?
And that my sense of self has been over-ridden by a sense of community?
And that suddenly I’m worried about being on a show called, “This is my life?”
And that they asked me, “How many people have you helped?”
What would I say?
How many witnesses would there be against me?
What if every person I didn’t help but could have was there?
What if every person I hurt was there?
What if they remembered each moment as if it happened yesterday?
What could I say?
How could I justify any of it?
I don’t have any witnesses
Not that many anyway
Maybe a few here and there
But what if God brought forward people who didn’t believe in him?
And asked me why they can be so good and I so bad even though I've tried to believe?
And what if he asked me why I stole those flip-flops back in 1981?
And what if he asked me why I lied to that girl about what I really did that night?
And what if he asked me why I try to ****** every pretty girl I meet?
And what if he asked me why I rejected his son?
And what if he asked me why I couldn’t get along with the two women I married?
And what if he asked me why I only thought of myself?
What would I say?
What could I say?
But you know
I don’t really have a brain tumor
At least I hope not
My head just hurts so much though
And now I’m thinking I’m ******
Because even after going through my mock trial
I haven’t changed
I mean Peter denied Jesus three times even though he saw it with his own eyes
And the Jews mocked God even though they saw a pillar of fire
And Judas betrayed Jesus even though he knew the truth
How can I be expected to be so good and I don’t know the truth
How can I be expected to be so good when I am born under original sin?
How can I be expected to be so good when I am a sinner?
How man?
HOW??????
Mark Lecuona May 2017
It matters to the family
If not to God or the new lake
They go there to pray on Sunday
Even if they're not really there anymore

We look at auburn streaked skies
And see his welcome beauty
But the door to heaven
Is not to the attic but instead the cellar

We wonder how everything will turn out
The current changes speed and direction
Gospel songs float on top
And the rising waters take us home

The howlers and the wailers are natures friend
Grace comes from its unmerciful ways
Their roots are bent sideways and twisted
But the way of the land is all that faith knows
Mark Lecuona Feb 2012
Our voices
Are they an echo
Of a desolate love in the air?
Our longing
Are they the reflection
Of an unrequited love affair?
As we sleep
It watches
Knowing all our secrets
All our pain
All our loves
A reluctant confidant
Suffering
For all eternity
Witness
To all who love
And to all whose dreams are crushed
As we raise our eyes
And bare ourselves
The mirror of our sadness
Understands
In the shadow of it's light
Mark Lecuona Feb 2012
Our voices
Are they an echo
Of a desolate love in the air?
Our longing
Are they the reflection
Of an unrequited love affair?
As we sleep
It watches
Knowing all our secrets
All our pain
All our loves
A reluctant confidant
Suffering
For all eternity
Witness
To all who love
And to all whose dreams are crushed
As we raise our eyes
And bare ourselves
The mirror of our sadness
Understands
In the shadow of its light
Mark Lecuona Dec 2014
My reaction at seeing you for the first time
was like blowing up a dam; the water pouring
out in a wave of destruction, quickly filling the
shallow channel that had been dug, not expecting
such a wonderous natural disaster

I knew I would lose part or all of you if I didn’t
dig deeper into the earth; bloodying my hands,
gasping for breath so as not to lose a moment
of your beauty or share it with another wanderer
waiting to swim upstream for your love

You allowed the force of your existence to crush
my life beyond all recognition while your worries
waited patiently, drifting slowly behind the deluge,
hoping not to be noticed while my senses exploded
into a thousand pieces

You denied me my breath, my sight, my thoughts,
my self-control; there was nothing I could do
except become the rapids themselves, no matter
the rocks or sudden current changes that made
my prior life no more than a tree torn from it's roots
Mark Lecuona May 2017
Can you see the tears in my eyes
I want to pour them into your heart
And kiss you as long as the river flows
That's where my life is gonna' start

It’s more than holding a woman close
It’s that you are more than life itself
So beautiful and deep with love
More than a picture on my shelf

I don't have to  look for you anymore
I don't have to sleep to know your heart
It's life together instead of dreams apart
I won't need a picture frame anymore

You wonder how I can say these things
But I’ve lived all my life thinking about you
Waiting for a moment that’s here at last
Don’t be afraid of things that are true

You can kiss me anyway you want
Don’t think of anything but now
I’ll take care of the rest my love
My dreams will show you how

I don't have to  look for you anymore
I don't have to sleep to know your heart
It's life together instead of dreams apart
I won't need a picture frame anymore

It doesn’t matter how far I’ve come
You were with me the whole way
You’re afraid I only love a dream
But the dream became you today
Mark Lecuona Oct 2017
He was an old dog
But he had a few new tricks
He had some ways that were stuck
It wasn’t anything he couldn’t fix

He was back on the dating scene
And he’d been reading the news
He wondered if women had changed
He wondered if there were new rules

She wants to be equal
He’ll love her more than that
There’s no trick to it
Old school new school
He’s gonna’ love her more than that

He tried not to act too friendly
Lordy these ladies walk so fast
They’re in a hurry alright
They’re being chased by the past

He tipped his hat and smiled a little
It seemed he caught her eye
He felt his face get red a bit
She knew he was the right guy

He could stay home
And say the world passed him by
But love never gets old
It can still make him cry

She wants to be equal
He’ll love her more than that
There’s no trick to it
Old school new school
He’s gonna’ love her more than that
Song Lyrics
Mark Lecuona Oct 2015
I used to think of myself as you saw me
More trouble than worth
But the night air always makes you follow

All I wanted was what I knew how to be
I try every day but it’s not an easy thing for me
But most days are going to have to be good enough
Because some days
The things you say are not the things I see
Some days
You forget all the things you once told me

I used to think of you as a moth to a flame
More magnetic than north
But to touch you is to lay awake nursing my wounds

All you ever wanted was to be the one for me
You tried every day but I’m not easy for you to see
But most days are going to have to be good enough
Because some days
The things I say are not the things you need
Some days
I forget all the things you want me to be

I used to think of us as something to believe
More spirit than earth
But we both walk upon the same shifting sands

All we wanted was what we knew how to be
We tried every day but it’s not easy for you or me
But most days are going to have to be good enough
Because some days
The things we say are not the things we see
Some days
We forget all the things we said we would be
Song lyrics
Mark Lecuona Apr 2015
I really want to know
Why would anyone have children
If they knew how afraid it would make them feel?
But then we ask for more
Because the fear is the only thing that makes life real

Who lives on the dark side
But smiles walking down mean streets?
She brings her own eyes to see the light and nothing else
The flowers don’t know any better
And neither does a girl who doesn’t believe hope melts

I really want to know
What are the things you won’t tell me
Did you decide to wait before you forget your last boy?
I said don’t hold my hand right now
So you went out alone but you weren’t anybody’s toy

It makes no difference
If we found gold on the land
We don’t climb mountains just because of the view
I could remember it more than once
But instead I live it because it reminds me of you
Mark Lecuona May 2016
I once slept knowing you loved me
I could breathe and you would notice
While my chest rose with a full heart
You touched my hair without malice

Now time passes without a hint of promise
We spoke the other nightbut then you left
The way it was is like a movie to me now
I started to watch but I already know the rest

Knowing how you love is not a sad story
It's just life and everybody lives like that
I thought maybe something was still there
But those mountains roads are now flat

I walked the streets of a strange town
It's me now who makes them walk away
Mourning love covers me like a veil
Morning suns shine hope for another day
Mark Lecuona Apr 2015
Everything he loved was buried under the disbelieving mound
The grave held him up as he leaned on stiff grieving hands
The rain fell without remorse as his fingers sunk into the mud
It reminded of her once smiling toes disappearing into white sands

He knew his apprenticeship to life would run off with next sunrise
The mud crushed his temples until all that was left was guilt
He remembered that he was alive as everything became real
He found only emptiness in the very place their love once built

He couldn’t leave because the traces of his hands were washing away
It would be their last moment together though she had already left
He thought to reclaim the imprint that she left on sandy shores
But they were gone as muddy waters raised the tide to lay love to rest
Mark Lecuona Jun 2016
It is very difficult to explain what someone means to you who you've never met. I suppose we all have our heroes and those we admire greatly. But beyond admiration, sometimes there is someone who has an effect on how you view the world; an effect that shatters your naiveté and profoundly opens the door of the human mind, personal behavior and possibility. For me, Muhammad Ali was that person.

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”

That one quote of his is all you need to know about the man. It transcends sports and the violence of his chosen profession. And while we all admire the sheer will of his being to over-come a near death experience in order to win a fight, it was his willingness to accept ridicule, scorn and accusations of treason or of being a coward that showed how much more his will was than just beating up another man.

As a child I was loved boxing and studied up on its history, especially the heavyweight division. I was aware of Jack Dempsey and the long count, Joe Louis and how he fought Max Schmelling, the pride of **** Germany and how Joe came knocked him out in the first round after a previous loss to Max, but then later in life he became friends with Joe Louis and assisted his former rival financially in his later years, eventually financing his military] funeral in 1981. , Rocky Marciano and his undefeated record and Sonny Liston with his terrifying scowl. But to me Muhammad was the greatest of them all because he combined power and speed. He could fight like a middle-weight and stand toe to toe with the strongest men who entered the ring with him.

But all of that suddenly didn’t seem to matter when I learned that he refused to go to Vietnam. At the time, like so many of you I was a child. All I knew about the war was the child-like fantasy that our soldiers were supermen and that we were going to win the war. We were the good guys. And yet here was this black man, so known to me suddenly refusing to go. I learned about a phrase called “conscientious objector.” I wondered how a person could just say they wouldn’t go because it was against their religion; especially if this same person was savagely beating people in the ring. It was a dichotomy that I do not fully understand even to this day. I wondered how a man who had the courage to enter the ring and fight would be called a coward by other men who would never challenge him to a fist-fight. I wondered about hating our own country and saying that he had no reason to hate the Vietcong. I wondered about what our country had done to blacks over the years and how maybe, just maybe they had a point.

And I wondered about becoming a Black Muslim and changing his name while calling his former name, his "slave name."

These things all entered the mind of a child. And I didn’t know what to think. But as time passed and he continued on as a boxer, I continued to admire his skills. I admired the way he carried himself after his defeat against Joe Frazier in their first fight. That was a shock to me because I thought Ali to be almost god-like in his skills and the way he lived life. But then he came back and later defeated Frazier twice. It taught me that we can be great even with a blemish as he was no longer undefeated.

And then came George Foreman; another terrifying man in the ring. Even more terrifying than Sonny Liston. Nobody thought Ali would win. But win he did and it was the greatest victory of all; because it was a modern day tale like David versus Goliath; Ali showed how his mind was his greatest weapon and how it can help a person overcome any odds; any disadvantage if they are willing to use and believe in themselves. Again, the possibilities of life were presented to me. You can do it another way.

But you have to believe in yourself.

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.”

And now these words mean so much to me because I believe I have not wasted the past thirty years of my life. I believe I have changed. And I believe I am now able to consider all possibilities before I decide what I believe and how I should judge the actions of another person. Though we are taught not to judge we find ourselves in situations where we are forced to judge. And when a man refuses to serve while another man does serve, giving his life for his country, then it is hard not to judge. And I’m not here to tell you that Ali was right not to go because I know I have friends who went along with their Fathers. And they deserve every honor and not a message that they died in vain. But what Ali did was make me think about the future and a world where a young man should not be forced to give his life for the ambitions of another man. Or the fears of another man. It taught me to think about peace and love. And to understand the culture and burden carried by another man.

Because not everyone is raised by loving parents. Not everyone was born free and made to feel special. Not everyone can live a life of relative ease.

And very few have the courage to live their life by their conscience. Muhammad Ali was that type of man. A black man in America, straddling the times of Jim Crow and the Civil Rights Act of 1964. A black man living in a time of hate and violence. A MUSLIM black man who saw a CHRISTIAN black man assassinated for speaking out for TRUTH, JUSTICE AND LOVE.

All I can say to my children is that this man WAS A MAN.

RIP Muhammad. You rose before us all and now you can take your place among angels who stand waiting for your great soul.
This is not a poem but I wanted to eulogize the man and give you my thoughts; there are so many young poets on this site and I think you should look into his great life if you do not know much about him. I'm 57 and he was a huge part of the life; like The Beatles. Like Dylan. Like Martin Luther King. Jr.

All of this is to say that I was blessed to grow up in a time of great social change and the courage Ali possessed was other-wordly.
Mark Lecuona Jun 2012
Everywhere I go I hang my home on the wall
You can’t really see it but I know it’s there
It could be framed by red, blue or maybe white
But what I know to be necessary is not about how you care

A smokey virus of tangible helplessness
Follows a long period of being in the know
It may take a week or possibly an additional day
Then I will know what direction to blow

The ditch continues in the alley behind the latest
So many have flooded it with aspiration
I don’t recognize the latest color
But I know the sound from a long ago consideration

You can’t imagine what it is that a day will bring
Unless you you’ve lived long enough to turn to experience
In the fear of repeating what was abandoned long ago
You think maybe it’s a search that ended with your last romance

Even though I always thought it would be the perfect scenario
An adult situation is really just tick tock watch the clock
I could try it out just to see what happens while I pleasure someone
But pride can’t live like that so that’s not a door where I’ll knock

Sometimes I walk backwards into the bathroom because it makes me smile
Or maybe argue with someone over who was at the window first
You can’t really know what makes a man happy any more than a woman
What seems simple is in fact a front for a death row march into a used curse

If I make you wait long enough for you to marry another man would you do it?
Would you wait that long and tell him you love him but in fact see my face?
You may have to do it because one day I may not even recognize who you are
When the final word of approval evaporates then the flowers will die in the vase
Mark Lecuona May 2017
Is it only art
or is it you
Are you loved
or just a muse
Is it fantasy
or is it true
Are you laughter
or the blues
Is blood real
or just a hue
Can a painting love
or is it just a ruse
Mark Lecuona Nov 2017
I've awakened alone
on Christmas morning
I've had troubles
that may never end
I've felt despair
that made me question life
I've been rejected
by someone I thought I loved
But I am still alive
as are my scars
The spirit within me
remains pure and knowing
I love my children
and the strength of my being
For despair is temporal
and hope forever mine
Mark Lecuona Aug 2016
How far
have the remaining drops traveled
Or do my veins
only flow with manuscript memories
Armed with only
dream vague solution birthrights
White clouds
dot the trail for each of my steps
The lines on the map
alternate between dawn and dusk
An awakening
that resembles gray morning night
But to an observer
what passes as life is only a painting
Red does not stop
but instead draws your flesh near
Green does not go
but instead lays to be walked upon
Yellow does not slow
but instead only says I told you so
It is only experience
that tells you why you can’t trust me
The stark value
of shock is only reality coming home
You thought it before
but not with someone you just met
At least not today,
our perversions must grow slowly
Still you deny it
until the secret code is chosen at random
Then the door will open
and you will find what is inside of me
Is really inside of you
like the droplets of a life you once knew
Mark Lecuona May 2015
I talked to my boy because he thought life as a toy,
but now he knows it’s a painting, and
what his mind will employ, to dodge every ploy,
are the colors of his own making, but
what only he felt was spoken while he knelt,
for what he believed was in waiting, and
what would never melt where the cards are dealt
would be the assurance time was saving

He had to decide who spoke truth and who lied,
but the colors he mixed already knew, it
was as if the one who died and the one who cried
were mixed in time for something true, even
if what was breaking was what was awakening,
for what is a man if not his own hue, but
only his own making can dream as he is sleeping
before the morning when he became new
Mark Lecuona Sep 2016
It is how we must live, the will
We do not question our souls
For there will be no answer
Like the wind we cannot see
There is only a feeling upon our life
Or a love song in another language
We do not know the words
But we know the what it means
The eyes of God are upon us
Though we cannot see his face
So too my breath upon your neck
While you turn your back, to say no
For today’s storm is not about me
But I know why it must be so
I know why the forest must burn
And the sea rages against the land
It is the only way they know to live
If only you would not be so afraid
But yes, my love, I know why
It is your soul that I cannot question
Instead I will wait for your ship to land
You will know when the wind feels right
You will know when to capture my breath
And as the mast bends, so too your will
Mark Lecuona May 2012
I did not conceive for my own glory
An unconditional harvest
Provides soil for love
Unmarked seeds
In full spectrum
Scattered in the wind
As you await the discovery
How will they bloom?
With only nourishment
And a clear path
Pruned of expectation
Mulched with pride
To blossom with their own hue
The farmers hand never raised
Except in awe
Of life
And raw emotion
And not of self
Except to see in their pose
Reaching for me
Their light
Until the day
When they will leave
To adorn another’s gaze
But regardless of their place
They will live
In full approval
Of what they have become
For in themselves
They will know no burden
Of my needs
Other than to love me
As I loved them
And as they weather every storm
And every temptation
And every rejection
They will remain in place
For the farmers field
Has been spread before them
To walk
With his strength
Because they came from him
Not to count his glory
But to count his blessings
Mark Lecuona Jul 2016
The first man I trusted
was one who didn’t need anything from me
He’d help me or my ma cross the street
even if he’d never see another dime or dream come true
There was a time I didn’t think like that
because the air I was breathing had already been sold
I could only hear the sounds of an angry man’s hammer
but that story has already been told

I saw him changing someone’s tire
It was hot and ***** but that was how he lived
Being able to help someone with a home
is a day off for a man with a sign
Being able to hear someone say thank you
is love inside his mother’s letter
He knows what you’re thinking
he’ll take the blame if it makes you feel better

I saw someone spill his guts
but he was wearing a mask on his face
It’s not like he didn’t believe
It’s just that we didn’t understand
So it was time to wake up in a new bed
and pretend he was better off alone
Maybe we’d better leave him be
There’s too many questions and not enough homes

I never thought I’d live this long
with eyes knowing how it’s going to end
That’s nothing new it’s just a matter of time, but
you know the price of your coffin by what’s important to you
There’s nothing I like about chance
I’d rather be broke than watch another man’s hand
I knew a girl once who disagreed
She had a pretty face, I had a bottle full of sand
Mark Lecuona Apr 2016
You never forgot what was lovely
What is a memory anyway
If you can walk as it is happening
Then what you forget
Awaits for you tomorrow
You remembered how to love
Nobody taught you that
Because a feeling is life itself
There are no more lessons
No more reasons to defend
You did what you had to do
And then you left it all with me
Mark Lecuona May 2016
Every fantasy prepared me for you
I know what to say
I know what to do
But will you believe in me?

Even childhood stories remember
That is why we became a movie
I cannot waste even a moment
Are you ready my love?

There is no more illusion
What is real is all I can be to you
Do not run from this chance
I will explain it when it is over
Mark Lecuona Aug 2017
I don’t need an opinion to make mine whole
I’m not so stubborn that I won’t listen closely
Everywhere I go they try to sell me something
I wonder where I’d go if I wanted to be home

Drinking with closed eyes is the best way to think
I wait for the shadow in the door that fills my mind
I wondered if she’d be early type, but she was late
She can wait as long as it takes to keep me guessing

I decided not to ask her any questions right away
That way her past can do the talking tomorrow
There’s no way I can explain how much I think
But she knows because my eyes always care

Sometimes I’m not anything except taking it
I have a few things figured out in my mind
I know what to think but small talk is important
It’s mainly about you and that’s why it matters

I’m always open but you make me obvious
It’s better to be honest than to play pretend
If it makes me seem weak, don’t assume
I’m only human but I'm not desperate to be

I’m not so worried about being the nice guy
You need to know I can draw lines in the sand
It’s not to prove anything, it’s only my life darling
If it ends like that you’ll wonder why you dared
Mark Lecuona Nov 2017
You are so beautiful
But I can’t think like that
I can’t think of lying in bed
That’s how dreams start

It was only a hint
A look from a brave eye
It’s not so strange to you
It’s the light of every man

Walking in the crowd
How do they do it
How I really feel
Is just a mistake I made

I heard a song
The kind for a wistful stare
I felt that way once
Until I saw him take your hand

I never feel empty
Or even lonely
It’s that an ordinary life
Is not what dreams accept

Giving you my love
Without a doubt
Maybe you won’t take it
But not because I didn’t try

You were crying
I watched you walk away
I hoped what I thought was true
But you never would say

I know about freedom
And how love can take it away
But I’m willing to take a chance
Going nowhere can be so cruel

It’s what I need to know
I think you said it already
I saw you smile
When I wasn’t looking
Mark Lecuona May 2012
My heart is only a part of something greater

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter where they may lead


I thought the one I had was whole

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter the hate it may feed


But in a world of estrangement

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter if it is from greed


You look for the part someone stole

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter that I did not plant the seed


Or was it never yours to begin with?

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter the pain it may breed


Maybe we’re born searching for the pieces

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter a wrongful deed


And once they are found and then lost again

All I know is all I perceive
All I feel is based on need
Need from my own selfish desires
No matter how evil my creed


You realize the harm caused by your injustices
Mark Lecuona Apr 2012
When
I wanted love
You were gone
When
I
Wanted
You
You no longer wanted
Me
All the days
Of my mistake
Left me awake
With the regret
Of a lifetime

In your heart I will live
With my eyes I see you give
Everything
For me

When
I wanted solitude
You were there
When
I
Wanted
Me
I no longer wanted
You
All the nights
Of my desire
Left me asleep
With the dream
Of a lifetime

In my heart I will live
With my mind neglect will give
Nothing
To you
Song lyrics... kind of an ethereal vibe....
Mark Lecuona Mar 2016
Something is wrapped tightly all around me
Though I am allowed to move freely
I can see the stars
Feel the wind at my face
And even smile at a stranger
But my footprints are washed by my chains
Though the key  is on the table
It fears no use or loss
For I willingly live within the confines of choice

Where a day must end with accomplishment
A night begins with longing
And what I may one day find of my myself
Is a trail that only I know to find
But will never walk again
And peace that arrived at the same time
That the trail did end
Mark Lecuona Oct 2015
we are
part of the procession
of no tomorrows
shrinking… day by day
recording though our memories
upon our hearts
and tiny footprints in ink
windows
opened to nature
birds
that never change
while we…. year after year
lose ourselves
fate seemingly fire upon water
though each generation lives on
ignoring the past
assuming lessons without experience
is a fire without a hero
sin without redemption
is pleasure without love
our vessels
mystical knowledge of our existence
physical feelings of pain
and love
pictures drawn upon skin that burns
and peels
our heart to be revealed
yet buried with our bones
We are
part of the march
of endless past
growing… day by day
forgetting what we cannot change
inside our minds
or scars aging like rings inside a tree
windows
closed to our fears
courage
that never changes
as we… year after year
find ourselves
fate cooling ashes of sacrifice
as each generation lives on
remembering the future
assuming faith will lead us
as a hero wearing a cross
redeemed because we loved
our vessels
shed of our weakness
floating upon the promise of our suffering
mental feelings of pain
because of love
dreams etched upon the walls of longing
that never sleeps
our heart to be experienced
to be saved
along with our souls
Mark Lecuona Jun 2015
The setting sun is already gone
Tomorrow it will come again
But when you leave like that
I never know if it's the end

Nothing that changes is mine
I tried to keep it but now nobody can
But what happens next is you
And what happens to me is your plan

I can't think like that anymore
You want to talk small
But what I said yesterday
Was more than saying that's all

It was a nice day once
Like a child playing on swings
But what I see in you anymore
Is a child playing with my strings
Mark Lecuona Jan 2015
I thought the future would be different
All my problems would be solved
And I would be floating on air
Instead I am drowning in sentiment
And the fears that my emotions are real
I have filled the ground beneath my feet
With the tears that I gathered long ago
It was then that I floated upon your lives
A presence that made me happy
And when you left the air was dry
As was the meadow and the streets
And now that I am growing older
What I once thought was me
Is really you flowing out of my heart
There is no place I can go anymore
Without  seas and oceans surrounding me
And I know now why the rains have fallen
The tears of a lifetime were given to me
Because I knew you long ago
Mark Lecuona Dec 2016
my eyes want you
but you already know
my arms want you
from inside my heart they flow
bringing you closer to me
where a sound muffled by your shadow
is fighting a war against a memory
i am not the one who love may owe
i am not the one who love may forgive
but i am the one whose heart tires of saying no
Mark Lecuona May 2017
I can’t say that I’ve paid any dues
I had a doctor once give me bad news
It didn’t put my life into a death bed
There was nothing except fear in my head

Let’s pretend I’m drunk and confident
Even though I’m not
You said all I had to do was ask
Why would desire make me wait
There had to be a reason for it
Maybe that’s why you’re always late

I don’t have a palette full of pretension
All I'll remember is the money I spent
I can only swallow the plans of tomorrow
I can only paint all of my mistakes
I saved a spot in the middle of a canvas
Drank cheap wine and painted your sorrow

Am I tempting God without a prayer
Am I so fatalistic that I don’t even care
I heard someone tell me it was God's will
It was as if life had no meaning or thrill

Let’s pretend I’m sober and shy
Even though I’m not
I told you why I could live without you
It’s too easy when you feel free
There had to be a reason for it
Maybe that’s why a sunset is all I can see

Just tell me what you want
Tear my head off so you can see my heart
But do you know who I'm talking to?
It’s there ready for your hands to pull it out
But you’ve been bloodied enough
So I have to be the one to hand it to you
Mark Lecuona Sep 2016
I live in my own mind,
but it is open for you to travel
My opinions play by one rule,
the truth of the matter
If I don't know
then I will have no opinion until I know
My voice relies upon temperance,
but first I will pause
What I believe is personal,
I hope my actions are enough
I value your freedom and mine,
coexistence
All I know is who I love
and they will know it too
What I advise is balance
and empathy
If you wish to change me,
I'm not for you
If you have a life,
I can respect you
If you understand me,
I could love you
To live alone is not rejection,
only discovery
To live together is about the soul,
will it survive?
Mark Lecuona Aug 2015
In their hands they held nails to end a life
in the pale light of his final hours;
In their hands they held books that told them so,
forgetting who preferred flowers;
She gave an apple but we took it too literally,
it was her love that opened his eyes
They wanted to believe that what came about
was truth but they only told lies;
Who will be sorry before God when what was
proven was nothing they could accept;
It was never so plain except that the law was
no comfort to those who wept
In their hands they held their own judgments
because it was all they could see
And in the pale light of the morning sun he
saw forgiveness was not to be
Mark Lecuona May 2016
it is not to understand my meaning
but to understand the point
it is not for you to receive
but instead to discover
possibility
for yourself
for as you see my path
it is not there for you to follow
but instead to suggest
to walk towards your own
where we will walk side by side
though we may part
and we may converge
but we will both know
we are the same
no matter
our differences
style
or culture
for we now understand meaning
and how to honor each other
so now i bow to you
my beautiful friend
Mark Lecuona Mar 2015
There is no leaf caressing a ration of rain water
No tree bent by green skies
No hedge split by the wind
No meadow laid bare by it's own kind
No form of nature
That has not witnessed man's tribulations
Or man's secrets
Or man's history
Or felt man's longing eyes
For beauty
For strength
For power
For fearlessness
To be who we are
And live the life we are destined to live
Mark Lecuona Mar 2015
I once thought you were nature as it was intended
for a man to hold close to his heart; but then it was
too real, for nature is heartless in its cruelty and
distant in its beauty; it's is not the existence I wanted
for us because we know how to make things right

Are clouds of looming fears better than eyes of falling tears?

Where is the love walking to me without the same
hope for calm days followed by a nights of fire that
melts our hearts together; but would it be the same
if it was wildness that had no purpose other than to
replenish itself and feed what lives inside uncertainty?

Are rivers overflowing better than hearts forever breaking?

We spend a lifetime sheltering ourselves from where
we came; wild, naked, dangerous to our lives but ready
to be tamed if only we knew how; it is the same my love
with our thoughts that we cannot speak of because we
are the same as tornados from colliding streams of turmoil

Are trees lying broken better than promises unspoken?
Mark Lecuona Feb 2017
Nothing so dead ever smelled so alive
The air full of soft cedar perfume
But where now the bees and their hive
The birds and the trees?
Every one that shaded our walks
Now a grave yard of memories
Cut down in haste before the sun
While the moon witnessed the sin
No light so bright ever felt so glum
Full as love once was young
Resisting the salt of *****
And tears never to be forgotten
To live instead without depth
To wade in shallow ponds
And not beneath the surface
Where our souls silently guide us
Is to allow the past, lying prone
To be trod upon by progress
No, it cannot be so
Where a breeze played alone
And a shadow dodged the sun
No, it cannot be so callous
As to allow its own heart to die
While the body walks away
Empty except for malice
Because for another to atone
Is to not be the comfort parade
For those who beg not to lie
Beg not to watch an eclipse
That can only sing sad songs
That only remind of its own
And how the only home
Remembered as it was made
A life without ever being paid
Only a sanctuary for the afraid
Now the busy dead live among us
And we must allow it to be so
The cross is where the bark fell
The spirit is what I shall tell
For I’ve become a birds nest rising
But it’s not so surprising
As my rhyme wavers once again
I must choose another hole to live
The one I once loved is full
Full like a rising tide
Reaching for its mother
Take me home the ocean cried
For what is left except for you?
Mark Lecuona Jun 2015
You know me
I'm like you in many ways
It's only a matter of taste for the details
But I feel what you feel
You don't have to impress me
Or be the prettiest girl in the room
I don't want you at your best all time
We can't live together like that
I just want you to live near where my mind Iives
To understand my neighborhood
And the things that are pressing down upon me
I only need a bit of room to find myself
Or at least to remind myself who it is I'm trying to be
It's not that I can't be myself
It's just that I'm trying to be who I want you to be
Or maybe I'm trying not to expect so much of you
I just want things to be peaceful between us
I want you to be able to take care of what is important to you
And to live the life that is right for you
And if that means we cannot be lovers
Then let us part as friends
And if we see each other again
Let us remember there was a time when we saw something in each other
And it was enough to make us dream
Let us never lose that day
Mark Lecuona Sep 2017
I'm not here to hurt you
Take what you need from me
I can shed my skin
Or reload my gun again
Being empty is nothing new to me

There's a way of finding out
What kind of a man I am
Watch me sit next to my ex
Or thinking about her having ***
It's really nothing new to me

If I don't say or do anything
It's either because I don't care
Or I'm thinking too much about it
I wish I wasn't either or none of it
It would be something new to me

Nothing surprises me anymore
People can't help themselves
A rock can't be a flower
A human can't be a spring shower
It would be something new to me
Mark Lecuona Aug 2017
i wonder what colors you would choose
it’s easy if you can’t see them inside you
they told you to look pretty
i thought you already were
they have to pay you for their own blindness
look at me instead
i'm the mirror you can have for free
the nails you bite
i believe in them because I can see
the quiet times when you are alone
thinking about next summer
how to get there
and not just being a pretty girl
but you will because you have imagined
what I already know to be true
Mark Lecuona Jul 2017
We couldn’t be the first
Somebody else got all of that
We wanted to be the last
But I’m the next to last now
A soul washed away on a beach

I thought we were chosen
But the tide was too high
Now somebody else walks
Putting a trail upon your heart
But is it still soft or made of stone?

What drove me to this point
I could only flex my cheeks
I could look at her like that
And she knew I meant it
Whatever it was I was feeling

The breath I held inside
You never did see all of it
Still what you felt was loud
The breath you could hear
Outrageous virtuosity of lust

You wanted to take care of somebody
But I had to take care of you
You couldn’t pull yourself together
Still, it was so easy to love you
I was holding a diamond in place

Nobody had to teach me to love you
I didn’t have to talk to my mom
You looked at me a certain way
And I just knew what to do with you
The science of love was already art

We developed our own sound
It was us without influence or past
Even strangers tried to chill with us
I felt like my hair was always wild
No matter how old, I was young

You can’t find that with just anyone
Any pretty girl can catch my eye
But I don’t move too fast anymore
I want to know what you’re about
And if you like to talk harmonics

Can you sit on a bench at the beach
Just to talk for a couple of hours
Not worried if it’s going anywhere
Just talking about anything really
Watching seagulls laugh at our nerves

It's really that easy when it's true
Nothing complicated; a breeze
But nature doesn't have to explain itself
To be the last fire in a forest that's ready
You can burn me down if you want that
Mark Lecuona Jan 2017
I am not a politician
Or a lawyer
I am an artist
And I am for you
Not borders
I am for you
Not judgment
But do not lie to me
No matter who you are
I can forgive a mistake
But only humility bring hearts together
And vulnerability
Not calculating clever talk
That promises something
But is really nothing
Know your speech well politician
Do not think me a fool
For I am not
Rank means nothing to me
Nor party
Only truth
For I know whom the throne favors
And it is not me
Mark Lecuona Jul 2017
I’m faced with it
Being happy for you
I remember your longing
The willing lover
Now pleasing another

I don’t want to think about it
We both know what it means
You have to pretend
It’s never been like that
Or maybe it’s true

I keep expecting
It’s how an obsession lives
The reason it ended
Was not about love
Only about life

The way the sun sets
It’s all I know now
The town doesn’t care
So I find something that does
Lost lovers always do

Dancing across a memory
It’s not my floor anymore
I could find it again
But someone has to want me
That’s how it once began

You say goodnight
I expect you to try
That’s the hard part
Giving your best
It once was mine
Mark Lecuona Dec 2015
Do not compare me to your past

The mountain he climbs may be
where I once fell;
and now I may walk in a valley
the river he navigates may be
where I once drowned;
and I may have swum ashore
the forest he explores may be
where I once was lost;
and now I may live in a tree

Though I am a victim of my past,
I will stand again; but,
I have buried my mistakes,
the grave is unmarked,
without any flowers,
but prayed over in silence;
it is gone
forever

And though I am not afraid
it is upon a new path that I will walk;
and would you,
if I asked,
trust whatever it is that I seek,
or would you,
only wish to relive the memories he left behind?
Mark Lecuona Mar 2016
I don’t want to talk about why everybody’s angry
I don’t want to think about why they lose sleep
They’re running away from love instead of hate
Nobody’s worrying about promises they should keep

Would everyone say something if we got together
They see the differences the world can’t get over
But I only see your smile, it’s the same as mine
I’m not going to be looking over my shoulder

You think about these things
I think about them too
Worrying about the world
Is not something we should do
We’re just killing time
Instead of living free
If you want to be different
Then just talk of love to me

I want to love you like my children
And forgive you like I forgive them
I want to know tomorrow is ours
The way I know tomorrow is theirs

Why do you want to be part of a world that hurts you
You want to fight back and show them you’re strong
But I see your beautiful heart and it’s so lonely inside
It’s time to find a new world where we both belong

You think about these things
I think about them too
Worrying about the world
Is not something we should do
We’re just killing time
Instead of living free
If you want to be different
Then just talk of love to me
Song lyrics
Mark Lecuona Apr 2017
Disguises No More

I don't have to make a change
The desert is always wet
the clouds are always dry
I don't make it happen
The mood figures itself out

There might be a girl walking
Somebody about the lord talking
My car drives back and forth
Trying to decide which one is me
I stopped thinking about where to go

My disguise is laying on the floor
My why's walked out the door
I'm a banjo playing like a guitar
I'm not born to play a certain way

I don't really try to do anything
The first thing in my mind is a story
It will make sense after I'm gone
Somebody might tell me what it means
That's how we get to know each other

I'm not going to duck anymore
The birds gonna fly by either way
Standing still is being part of the action
You can feel a good fire next to a cactus
The distance in the sky is bigger than now

My true self doesn't need me anymore
It became what it never was before
They look the same but it's a different star
The way they move tells time a different way
Mark Lecuona Apr 2015
There is no distance further than your dreams

There is no boundary, no line,
no horizon

Courage and fear roam freely,
tending to their own flocks;
wandering without humility  
or remorse

Love that has not been planted,
becomes a forest

Love that sleeps walks in the night;
unafraid of shadows or bright lights

You met him before you knew better;
but there is nothing you cannot imagine

He is perfect because your desires are perfect

If you cannot meet your own kind
in the very place you invented,
then you will never know him
when he knocks upon your door

There is no closeness that you can endure,
unless you have dreamed in a yearning state;
when flowers suddenly appear above a fence,
what was a life alone becomes a life together;
but who would know these things,
except someone from far away?
Mark Lecuona Aug 2017
You have to take a chance
That's the only way
Yes I could hurt you
But I could also fall in love
And while our eyes meet
What is moving are my feet
Closer to you
And as your tears argue
Over joy and heartache
You heart must remember
There is no easy way
To believe what my eyes say
Mark Lecuona Apr 2015
You blushed because your heart does not have an ego
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