The warm ache of *****
Touches my stomach with soft
Hands and all i can think
Is why
and the tickle in my throat
From nicotine's playful kiss
Makes me sicker than before
Woozy and exhausted
I cry to myself
And wonder why you're far
Gone from me
Loneliness caresses my face
With hot tears
While I panic
And want to die
In the place that doesn't feel like home

If you could not
Mention her
Just for a while
I'm sick of the stories
I feel so vile
For lingering on it
But I guess you are too
Why are you with me?
Are you sure your over her?
The questions
The worries
I don't tell you about
But please don't mention it
It hurts to be compared
Or to feel compared
I could be wrong
I hope I am
But the demons inside
Don't understand
So please
Could you not
Linger

This is it.
The soft touch of a hand
Brushing your arm
The pressure of lips on your forehead.
Affection
Love is when it tingles
It lingers on the skin like
Scars. So many scars
Left by others before but those don't matter.
You don't feel them tingle anymore
What matters is now. In the moment
It could stay for minutes or hours
But it still stayed and it still made you feel again.
You felt something you didn't think
You could feel again.
It's the little things. This is when you know
Other things are what made you
Feel in the first place
Smile, laugh, mannerisms.
These things matter but
Feeling is important and when all
That has happened to you in the
Past was
Take take take
Then it feels good for someone to give give give
A **** about you again.
This is how you know.

To be is not to live
and seeing isn't believing
feeling is believing.
Trust me, to get an emotional
response out of me is hard.
I hide my emotions because
to emote is to show weakness...
at least that's how it used to be.
Now if you show me beyond just
showing your emotions in my face
You'll get something out of me.
You will because i know you
need to be shown too. Truly shown.
Friendship, love, family isn't a one way street.
You have to show and be shown
and listen and be listened to
because without relationships
what do you have?
You have yourself. To be
But you won't really live.
To live is to believe in something.
Feeling is what makes us human.
So go live.

Twisted and tortured
My mind is reeling
Gone for a second
Then my skin starts pealing

Back and forth
I can't stop swaying
Blood pumping with force
The poison prevailing

Later and later
My sleep patterns change
Up all night to dream a savior
The longer I wait the greater the rage

Sailing on fumes
An empty shell
Nothing to fill these empty rooms
Waiting for you is my personal hell

Hoping so hard it hurts
To see you again
Not just in spurts
Just tell me when

It's probably creepy
But I feel it in my bones
With you I feel so dreamy
Yet I'm still filled with unknowns

I can see myself
Happy with you
This has a life for itself
So just tell me if you care too

Sometimes it doesn't hurt so bad
When I close my eyes tight
Let the darkness take my sight
But deep inside I'm still sad

Sometimes it doesn't hurt so bad
When I curl up in a ball
I try to get how I feel: small
But I never get small enough and get mad

Sometimes it doesn't hurt so bad
That's a ******* lie
A lot of the time I want to die
It actually hurts really bad