Crowded in head
Shaded in envy
Rejected by feeling
Abandoned: I'm bleeding

I no longer feel
I bruise easy
No longer to touch
I'm nothing much

If I leave would it matter
No one would care
No one would miss
To fragile to kiss

Left numb
And cold
Being comfortable with someone;
A lie that feels like a dungeon

Now that I know
Happiness isn't true
I can give up gracefully
I can pretend fatally

I sit and watch
And listen
As everyone
Around praises

I sit alone
And cold in
The plastic chair
Just watching

I am nothing
In this chair
The depths of
Me spilled for all to see

No one notices
No one actually sees
But me
Only I can see

The attention is not
On me but someone else
Who has more to
Say and greater than I

I just sit with the pain
In my chest
Hoping it'll all
Be over soon

It won't though
It never leaves
My constant consciousness
Won't let me be happy

The reality
Distorted
My anxiety
Magnified

I'm all alone
In this chair
My soul
Spilled on the floor

It's never me
To get the guy
To love forever
To feel it inside

There's always another
Better in every way
Prettier, funnier
Smarter, better.

I'm not gonna succeed
I'm not going to last
I never did
I was always the phase

The phase everyone
Grew out of.
The one that was left
The one long gone.

I'm used to it I guess
So if you leave don't fret
I'll be fine
When I'm dead

I'm striped loyally-
Tangled to soil.
Hurt royally-
Forever together: a coil
And together-joyfully
Laughing at the spoil
You gave to me; left me pointedly
In tears.

The tingles from my ears
Left by fears- clearly
Over the years-
Together forever-hurt severely
The torment of the volunteers
Taken softly-dearly
By the music that steers
Them further into shading

The cold hands grasp the shaking
Forever together-an ache
The quaking-
That bends to **** and hurts to break
Just need to stop-its for my own taking
Neither head, nor heart, nor soul feel awake
Thrusted-deeper into the sea

Together forever-the silence-it kills me
Too much noise-cant believe what I'm seeing
Only one broken key-
Can help but broken things can't stop the bleeding
I'm begging you-you hurt with such glee
It takes every inch to give up pride and start pleading-
Swallowed whole-but not without fee
Together forever-the silence-it kills me

It's clear
Here
That you have felt the seer
Of the gears
Against your ears and
Thought-

If She sits and hurts
And writhes and diverts
And cries and averts
Never asserts
Herself never exerts
Effort-

Again-she can't hope
Again-she can't cope
Again-a downward *****
Again-preparing the rope
Again-happiness out if scope
Again-you think

Can you see
That to me
You're what you should be
Perfect but she
Refuses your plea
But you still try

Because that's Love
Because she's your dove
Because she's above
Because she fits you like a glove
Because she's all you speak of
Because you can't help but fall for the girl with Scars
Because you have Scars too

The sunlight ravishes
the land like an empty promises
ravishes the heart
Takes everything in its path
But there's a beauty to it
indescribable; unimaginable
but with time you appreciate.

The hot breath of nature rains
down on you like volcanic ash
it can burn but you get some
sick pleasure from it. You stay.
You stay because you know it can't
get much better than this.
This moment of womb-like comfort.

The music lifts
but sits
on your soul
take it in
feel it there
resting; but soaring
up and up and up
red and blue and green
yellow orange purple
then you exhale
everything's gone

there's only you and the artist you hold dear
no pain
just an inward silence
awkward gravity as you look around
no one is dancing
not to your music
their own inner music
only they can hear
all a different beat
different genres of souls
bouncing; but standing still