is in the middle of

LiE
SiN
BiG
DiE

Let me not
be in middle
of self serving
and
self engrandizement


let me be in the middle of

HiM


Catherine

Advice on falling in love with an assault survivor
The first time you look at them
They will do one of two things.
They will either not look you in the eye
Out of fear that your passion will burn them
After all,
The last time another's eye stared through their paper skin
They caught on fire.
Or this person may stare straight back into your pupil
As though they are staring death straight in the face
There is no in between with a survivor
They will either move too fast or not at all
But their trust is the petal of a daisy in the desert
Withered and delicate as you touch them for the first time
You cannot expect warmth from something so broken
For survivors train themselves to ignore the ghost in their heads
But that demon will always show up
And when they finally let you undress them
You undress their monster as well
As you remove articles of clothing
Their body begins to freeze over
And the spirit they could once hide and stow away
Is now at the forefront of everything.
They train themselves to have *** with the lights off
Because should a fleck of brightness reveal an eye
A nose
A mouth
The face of their abuser will fill in the rest
They do not want you to see their body
For the scars leave train tracks of the places they've been
Crawling in fields of thorns
Wrapping themselves in knives
Swallowing perceived sanity in the form of a pill
They will not always be okay
Because in their mind they are constantly at war
With an enemy ship that retreated long ago.
To everyone around them, they are a martyr
They have won the battle
But in their mind
They are a fallen soldier
Who can't stop hearing their own gunshots fire
Into the chest of their opponent.
Falling in love with an assault survivor
Is agreeing to watch parts of them
Go up in flames
Over and over again
And picking up the ashes they leave behind.

'm glad that I have forgiveness
I make so many mistakes
I walk at Great unforgiveness
Do I have what it takes?

What it takes is love
what it takes is love
what it takes is love

Love is merciful. Love is kind
Love is give not take
Love has not an angry mind
Love Is Never fake

What it takes is love
What it takes is love
What it takes is love

Love forgets transgressions
Gives benefit of doubt
Love seeks not aggression
Love always wins out!

All You Need Is Love
All You Need Is Love
All You Need Is Love


SoulSurvivor aka
Write of Passage
2022

In a world full of moving souls
behind perspective eyes
I looked for you.

and it hit me:
Even when I was with you
I could not find you..
you NEVER let me FIND YOU.
In the end and tomorrow,
I will always look for you.
every time I see a resemblance
I am a dog looking for a ball with his ears up
having a little hope that it is YOU,

but no
no one is you.
no one will ever be what I looked for in you.

Forgive yourself,
if you don't know what you're doing.
I'll forgive myself,
for I’m the way you are.

No, it's not my fault
that it’s dark and I’m crawling.
No, it's not you to blame,
for not seeing the light.  

I would like to stay strong
on my desperate journey.
I hope Lord will forgive me
and will give me some strength.

I would like to believe
that you too keep on searching.
And that one day we will meet
at the narrowest of the gates.

It's still cold outside,
so why are the birds singing
so joyfully and so loudly?

Still freezing out there,
so why are the flowers blooming?
I don’t understand.

The hope is still cursed,
so why am I writing this poem,
like it was my first?