Do you...

Imagine my ****** expressions that match the nuances in my voice
Tell me of all the attention you get from other boys

Take deep trembling breaths just to hold back the tears
Feel the angry tides as you swallow your fears

Clutch your pillow tight and pretend that it's me
Let it soak up the drops as you sob quietly

Look at the moon adoringly as I do
Knowing that I see the same one too

Replay the words you heard me say
Read my words over and over, to get through your day

Cringe at the idea that we both have to hide
When really we want to spread our wings and glide

Sigh with despair when it all seems to fall apart
Pick on life's lashing when they start to smart

Picture me before sleep in bed as you lay
Let me run till slumber takes you away

Well up every time you miss
Close your eyes shut every time we kiss

Pace up and down as we share days' events
Try to be strong hearing each others' laments

Cover your face when you cry?
Grieve over time spent apart that fly on by

Take breaths in between words or in between sentences
Sigh deeply poring over our wild pretences

Blush red when sweet nothings you hear
Bite your lip when you need me near

Sing in your heart when you hear my voice
Dance secretly with me as your choice

Always think of different ways to sweep me off my feet
Rush of blood with the quickening of your heartbeat

Imagine the way I am as I do you
Get breathless when you say I love you

Feel a stab when we argue about nothing
Wasted words when much more needed saying

Weaken in the knees when for you I'd sing
Find catching yourself to stop yourself from buckling

Sit on the bathroom floor,
Only to let the shower pour
As you hug your knees to your chest
Assuring yourself that it's all for the best

Wish for a second just so you could see
With naked eyes and not imaginatively

Do you?
Because I do...

Green is to jealousy as Red is to rage
Lock these feelings in a cage
I'll rend and tear and rip you apart
My rage is sweet and my envy's ****

Green is to jealousy as Red is to rage
I'll **** you horribly in my craze
I'll drink your bones and chew your blood
My rage is voracious but my envy's good

Green is to jealousy as Red is to rage
I'll sprinkle my hatred with a bit of sage
I'll spice up my envy to be bitter hot
My rage is content but the envy's not

Green is to jealousy as Red is to rage
This isn't just a passing phase
I'm off in the deep end, I've lost my mind
My jealous rage is one of a kind.

At morning I begin to feel
At night I begin to think
My heart starts to drown
My life starts to sink

I get images in my head
Confusion I cannot define
Jealousy ruining my life
Wanting you all mine

At morning I begin to think
At night I begin to feel
Are you really mine?
Is this fake or is this real?

I just don't understand
Why you could love me
A girl so deeply insecure
In a world of  jealousy

Jealousy

If I could be but a burning sun,
I'd scorch you with my wrath.
All your labour and all you loved
Would sizzle in my heat,
And turn into steam.

What I can't have,
Why should I let you keep?

If I was but an ocean blue,
I'd envelope you in my foam.
Grain by grain I'd wash away
The foundation of your home,
Claiming it for my own.

I need to breach your comfort
So I can have mine.

I need to pour onto you
Like torrential rain.
I need to chill you to the bone,
Like some haunted wind.
For you cannot, should not
Have that which I cannot reach.

You snatched it from under my nose,
And it kept screaming my name,
But you muffled its voice.
Your cruelty knows no end,
So now you'll taste mine
And I promise the pain won't fade.

some girl muttered,
under her pretty breath,
through her bubblegum round lips-

that i was a train wreck-
a walking,
talking,
breathing,
train
wreck.

and i agreed.

because i'm not a beautiful suicide,
i didn't land on the top of a fancy limousine,
i didn't leap from the top of the empire state building,

i wreck full force and careless,
i wreck into others without braking,
i wreck in the middle of absolutely no where with no one to care
i wreck in small towns and i ruin lives.

i ruptured their organs
and i ripped their flesh-
i ruined their bones
and i ripped their ligaments-
i readjusted their joints
and i ravished their brains.

i slit their throats and
wrists
thighs
hips
just so i wouldn't feel alone
they were the same as me.