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loved him with
everything i had
my soul
my heart
my head.

but in the downward spiral,
i realized i had forgotten
to love myself,
maybe i loved him too much.

and when he had left
i was left with nothing
but a bare soul,
trembling hands,
striped scarred skin
and a bitter tongue.
lost the will to really write.
he tells me the
words she does
not care to read,
nor understand.

his words
are narcotics,
rolling thick
off the tongue,
fat and vain.

i tell him the
words she does
not care to read
nor understand.

my words
are flesh wounds,
festering and
upsetting
to the stomach.

he's a medical
overdose,
drugging
to numb the
brash and pain.

i'm an angry
hornet through
your heart
and your mind,
livid and
vindictively
stricken.

thick through
your veins,
eyes a blur
and head a fog,
he's a medical
overdose
with mind of
a syringe
and tongue
laced with
narcotics.
he wants your lips
on his
he wants your chest
in his hands
he wants your waist
against his.

he wants your skin
on his
he wants your hands
on him
he wants your legs
on his.

he doesnt want you
he doesnt want your intelligence
he doesnt want your laughter
he doesnt want you.
I do not like "growing up'
she hates me.
she doesn't know me.
she took him away.

her eyes are brown but they're tinted green with the scales of the monster that lurks beneath.

her fingernails are short but they grow sharp into claws and take him away from me because of the green monster that lurks in her fingertips.

her words are sweet but they cut me with the teeth of the green scaled monster that inhabits her tongue.

and he lets her.
and he lets her.
and he lets her.
i can't stop running to him.
from the mind it flows
traveling through my veins
down my bones.
every part of me rages
for comfort and ignorance.
I erupt,
my emotions drain
oh I wish
I wish I cared less.
I don't want to imagine you and her
hands intertwined
walking together in the dark concrete jungle
while I'm left alone on these cold dirt roads.

I can't imagine how you could ever
love a girl like me
that looks upon your past
with such jealousy.

And you wouldn't imagine
how one look in those eyes
makes me gravitate towards you
and forget those times
when you were
with her.
 Sep 2014 Marina Morales
Jenna
Stuck and going no where fast
Can't seem to erase it from my past
Why can't I just disappear
I can't escape from here
And this I my biggest fear

Don't want to get worse don't want to get better
It's these things that just don't make sense to me
Drowning in this pain I can't breathe
Save me from the hatred inside of me
Being held against my will.. Or perhaps this is how I want to be

I can't move forward and I can't move back
Doesn't make me happy doesn't make me sad
Am I my own worst enemy?
Am I the cause of this pain I see?
Do I really want to break free?
In my comfort zone, this is my home
Wrote this as a (unfinished) song a year or two ago.. Thing have changed so much yet not at all

— The End —