The day was hot and anticipating
We got ready all day
I got ready all of a month.
Why?
Because you would be there.
You, that boy who could rock a guitar
You, were the best drummer I'd ever seen
You, I'd had a crush on you since 6th grade
We sang songs and talked about music

All four of us went
my friends and
I in an aqua tank and shorts
I straightened her hair
and left mine natural

We listened to music.
Beautiful music.
A night of sticky
picnic blankets
and warm clingy grass
and peace and harmony

And ever since the end,
of that night
I've been preparing myself
For this years
Jam.
Sweet anticipation
I can't wait to see you
again
at the
Summer Jam

Mum spilled wine on the patio
*The may flies are going to be drunk tonight

Escapes my lips when I have nothing to say
Gives me compliments when I'm good at nothing else
Lifts me up when I'm down
Moves me when my heart is still
Loves me when no one does
And I love it back

Late Easter fire
Soaked up in my clothes and hair
Mixed with memories

After someone dies
for me after the wounds
that I never thought would heal
scab over
After a year or so
the scab that is left
is what my brain has been wired to do
I still say
they are
and everyone else says
they were
and I say
he/she is
instead of was
So I want to keep believing that
people wont notice
but they do notice
I can see that melancholy glimmer
in their eyes
when I talk about these friends
these family members
who still Are
to me
and never will be
*were