It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.

Quiet,
At first.

Slow,
Seeping, dripping.

I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.

It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.

Gently,
For now,

Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.

‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.

It settles in,
Getting comfortable.

Getting louder,
And louder.

Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.

‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.

Claws in,
Insidious.

Screaming,
24/7.

Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.

‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.

Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.

Blossoming pain,
With every beat.

Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.

Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’

thank you
for the air we breathe, water to drink

for the strength to go against the current
and get lost in a sea of fish

for parents who love selflessly
for friends who became family

for someone who filled the gap
of a heart missing a piece

for mistakes that make us grow
for lessons that we now know

for all the questions and tears
in the meaning of things

for doubts and failures
for still moving forward

for laughter
a good enough reason to live

thank you

for it may not be the best year
but it still paves way for another year