i see you in broken dreams
fragments of you scattered throughout my unorganized thoughts
visions of your head laying against my stomach
your eyes pouring into mine
ripped holes in our clothes
a cigarette hanging on the edge of your plump lips

i hated the smoke that lingered around the apartment
but i loved you too much to leave
there was something about the smell
that was so perfectly you

there was something about your deep cocoa eyes
when they looked into mine
on our late nights between the sheets
that begged me to stay

i loved you
i promise

everytime i walk through city streets
cold biting at the edge of my ears,
the smell of cigarette lingers in the air
and i think of your eyelashes, fluttering

"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be.*" - Wuthering Heights.

beauty, is in love's eyes,
i once read that if he still makes your heart
anchor itself to your abdomen,
after three months, it's love.

well, my metaphors are wasted on you,
my words are a fancy way of
expressing myself and they contain
too much of you.

you've got a temper,
enough to rumble under these streets,
and collapse what i've been building.

i get sick of building blocks,
love is child's play, and i just want
us to be adults.

i promised to love you, and i do in
my own odd ways,
you broke my heart, i broke yours.
i still want you to know,
a mosaic wouldn't be so beautiful,
without all the cracks.

I fill my mind with his voice
until I can not hear anything else
spend my days practicing what his hands would feel like
as they graze my skin
pretend how his lips would move as they mouth
my name

I take his hands, place the fragile key to my thoughts into his grasp
I let him open me, take out the fragments of my soul he finds intriguing
and keep them

I wrap my delicate hands around his strong neck
until he can not speak
and beg him to say he loves me

in the dark
compass spinning
wanton wind
howling, wailing
brittle arms
in concert waving
emerald waters
whipped and raging

sky crushed velvet
sequins sewn tight
to the shattered
span of night
a million times
each time as new
with stardust eyes
with gratitude

we met in the daylight
under a roof of rotting wood
flowers in your hair
i am allergic to chrysanthemums, i said
i hate the holidays, she said
mostly the music, though

your love is terrifying. it makes me want to run and hide and peek out the windows to see what kind of damage it has done. my mind is so scared, and yet my heart is in awe. rain falls like a shower, and the pine needles on the trees are stripped off. you are a madness I can not handle.

but, I find myself trying anyways (I have no self control). I find myself opening doors and windows and letting my feet sink into the sweet soil, letting my hair drip with cold rain, my clothes wet to my body, the wind is chilling to my skin. Every drop reminds me of all my tears shed.

I want to control the madness, reign it in and package it neatly, put little red bows on a box that says,
"love"

there are some things that are not meant to be controlled, some things that you can't put a label on, and some hearts that are too wild for their own good.

The weight on your shoulders,
It's the universe you hold within you.
The pressure on your chest,
It's the constellations wrapping around your soul,
To remind you you're not alone.

Let the light and the darkness collide together.
Let them bring you up.
Let them help you become the biggest star,
Even brighter than the sun.
For you don't have a life, you're life.