I.
You believe them. You tell them otherwise
II.
You write little post it notes, and catalog their promises
You make a calender and put your dates on it in red pen
You smile and expect to cross them out again
III.
You believe in their dreams, but you do not believe in their words
Even when you want to so badly that it hurts
IV.
You reason with yourself, and with them, and with your little red pen
That untruths are just as truthful as outright honesty,
Because honestly, deceit is pure
And who knows that they're lying when they're lying?
If they plan to follow through and say their lies as 'simple' truths
Or if they lie to you and then follow through
So is it really a lie? It's okay, you don't have to feel used
V.
You realize that you love them
Then you consider it more
And the more you think on it, the more that you're sure
VI.
Then days turn into a year, which is only seasons
And their promises become ever more few
Then the seasons break down into months, into days
Into hours
VII.
You're so lost in counting that you forget to fact check
VIII.
You believe them. Without the back of your mind screaming "justice!"
Without bothering to write it all down.
You hear them out, for the first time, and wonder if they ever lied at all
Or if you're just used to being lied to
IX.
And that's when your reality crumbles down
That's when you really love them but lose yourself
If the days you can't remember, and the time you can't forget
Coincide
Maybe there's some hope, a little, that everything was worth it
It's just a phase they went through
but you miss the lies
X.
Because when they tell you it's over
You realize it's the one thing you wish wasn't true.