i am trying
trying to be better than the person
i used to be

i am trying
trying not to isolate myself
from everyone but him

i am trying
trying to include you with us
but you react negatively

i am trying
trying not to go back to who i was
but life is so much easier
with just one problem in your life

i am trying

red stains my mind
a color not of choice
but of forced persuasion

it seems that no matter
how much good is in my life
happiness is fleeting

i understand
if you want to leave
i would too

The tornado hit  without a warning.
I ran to my basement and huddled as I waited for the worst to pass.

As the sun peered his head from the clouds and rain...
I climbed from my bunker and stepped outside.
The scenery was quite charming.
Mother Nature Cleaned the dreariness from the day.
A smile formed on my face
I then was able to laugh and be happy.

I assumed that, in my bunker, that the  storm would wipe my  existence
without a trace.

The "worse" that can come, from life,  our mind creates.
Making a "mountain" from a "Molehill" is an easy way to
cope  with "Fight or Flight."

Only when we can train our mind's to stop and process proper "escape routes"
Can we prepare for what storms lie ahead and enjoy a better "sight."

Before I start my
soul search
I have to tell you
that this self
hunt starts
with you
where inside your
eyes
a lullaby, a
cypress,
reflecting in the moon.
Douse me in your
moon glow
where I can drink your blazing
calm
where I'm floating in your
darkest sky
I've been yours all along.
Before I start my
soul search
and before the
sea foam holds the shores
I'm telling you
I know your soul
because mine's always
lived in yours

go ahead. keep your gospel. but be not faint
in the hallows;  inconstant. stretch the fathoms
of your fathoming to the outskirts of fell grace...
and stub your toe on a perfectly hideous
god.

keep your trinkets in narrow crustaceans,
but sleep - where your damnation is a coin
and a bed.
deepen your sorrow where the joy is spent
and the sky, a crisp skin on a desiccated
blue.
be thankful for the hell you keep
but ascend the zenith
of your every
harm
to find your
proof.

be droll as the wet fools cavort in the pit. but -
keep your feathers adorned
and your feasts mobile.
glow and be done with it
if you dare...

but keep your heart spoken
for the night.

i thought of you the other day
and realized my memories
   are quite blurred

It has been so many years passing
But every love lost
Every love rejected
Has taken its toll
Chipped away
At the clay
That I was using
To hold my heart
Together