Emily

Emily Mar 2017

new air

meeting you
is like breathing
new air

your soul
your passion
your care

my stomach jumps
my heart flutters
my eyes fill with tears

i feel it again
love

but this time
it is raw
real
true

i want you
not only in my head
not only in my heart

but in my soul
in my bed
in my arms

i want to breathe
this new air
forever

Waiting for God to bring me a lover.

#love #relationships #relationship #new #air

Emily May 2016

Fingers

I feel such a deep connection
Such spiritual emotion
When I'm with you
I want to feel your kiss
And share my passion
For how I feel about you
No one in this world
Affects me quite like you do
Not in this moment
Not in the past
I want you to be my future
I want to be your woman
Your source of comfort
I want to be your lover
Your source of pleasure
I want to be by your side
Your source of encouragement
I want to look you in the eye
And have you see my devotion
You'll feel my love with my embrace
You'll feel my warmth
With the grace of my lips
I want to feel you next to me
Feel your body against mine
Exchange my feelings for you
Every moment in time
You are a man
And I'm ready to be yours
Tell me what to do
I want to submit to you
You're my man
Don't let me slip through
Your fingers

fantasies

Emily May 2016

power

there is a chemical connection
between our souls
i can feel the passion
when you say my name
i can sense the potency
in your urge for me
i can feel the desire in my gut
i've never felt this way
it's you i want
i imagine us
i imagine you
being mine
being true
the things you say
the words you use
how has it taken me
this long to find you
where have you been
and why have you gone
didn't you feel
what i felt all along
i can be the one to show you
what a real woman is
i can be the one to commit to you
and make you feel bliss
i will take the moon from the dark sky
and put it in your hands
you have the power over me
it's this space i can't stand
come back
i will show you the way
you are the alpha
i am the omega
you have all the power
i am yours to keep
we don't know where we end
or begin
we only know that we belong

Ado

Emily May 2016

the one

your personality came through the screen
your kind heart was potent
though you couldn't be seen
i felt you coursing through my veins
just after one day
this immediate connection
felt like our own version of heaven
were you the one?

i like him so much

Emily Feb 2016

friend

when i met you
i judged you
and for that
i'm sorry
it was wrong of me
because God made you special
you bring me joy
you share jokes
you give me moments
of freedom
when we talk
i feel free
free from the pain i've felt
free from the twisted sadness
i want to be close friends
i know this is just the beginning
but i really care about you
i enjoy my time with you
and how much we have in common
i'm so thankful that i met you
you're such a sweet person
i hope you think the same about me
because right now
you're the only good thing in my life
you're the only person that makes me smile
i find myself wanting to talk to you more and more
thank you for waking up my soul
thank you for giving me something to look forward to
thank you for being my new friend

#friends #friend #new #you #thankful #thank #open #genuine

Emily Jan 2016

Long nap

I can feel myself fade away
My body gets weak
I can't even see anymore
Not sure if it's the tears in my eyes
Or the fact that my body may shut down
I called a suicide hotline
But I just hung up
Nothing matters to me now
Except my dog
This doesn't make sense
But I'm scared to leave my dog
I'm super hazy
Haven't eaten
Took a shot
I have work later
Who knows if I'll be awake to go
I don't want to go
I just want to stay under the covers
If that means dying
Then that's what I'll do
Why should I care
to keep a promise for you
You don't care
You think I'm bad
You think I lie
But all I did was give you my heart
I would rather die
Than live like this
I wiped a tear
And another one came down
And another one
I closed my eyes shut
And a few more poured out
This doesn't even make sense
But I think it's the meds
Taking a long nap
And hope it never ends

Emily Nov 2015

I want this

I'm trying to compensate
For the void in my mind
With other people
With other pastimes

Nothing is very satisfying
Especially after I've crossed the line
Now I really wish
That I could just rewind

I wouldn't take advantage
Of the moments we shared
The long nights together
When our eyes would stare

Into each other
I could see your soul
Now I am empty
With nowhere to go

I wish I hadn't given up
I wish I gave us a better chance
Everything seems ruined now
Slim odds of romance

I don't think we can come back
Not from this damage
It's all my fault, I've done it to us
It was too hard to manage

I'm sorry for how I've treated you
Nothing can take back the things I've said
I'm sorry for how I gave up on you
Nothing can take back the things I did

Despite my tragic flaws
You still treat me as if I'm the best
You love me unconditionally
Every day I am blessed

What did I ever do to deserve you
I ask myself why I don't try harder
Why I'm not on my knees begging
Why didn't I act smarter

All these questions
Swimming in my head
I know I want this to last
To clean up all I've bled

#fear #relationships #break #separation #girlfriend #confusion #ups