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It's strange to think I remained silent
for all of twenty nine years
till recently all of a sudden
words overflow me more than my tears.
I hiked up the highest hill
To watch the sun go down
On your birthday
On a not quite full moon of April

I stared right in it with such thrill
And felt the blood neon colours
Of your departure
Rush through my veins and freezing me still

Stood in awe of this miracle I promised I will
Find an aperture
As I’m about to take on this solo adventure
Of a lifetime of dreams I’ve yet to fulfil.
Hey...
Someone hear me -
now that he’s gone,
he’s gone for good.
Someone see me
through this airless night,
for the monster I am when I turn out the light..
Someone believe me...
when I say my thoughts are stark,
treacherous and dark.
Someone tell me,
a kind word or
a soft humming song.
Someone hold me -
back from tempting abuse,
for I’m dying to cut loose.
Someone give me -
a half arsed wave or a fraudulent smile,
a ******* reason to stay alive.
I loved you since you first laid eyes on me,
Since that very first invite over for tea,
Silly 'tash -
with just a dash of caramel wax..

Did I trip and fall
on the curb or on you that very first night?
Whichever floats your boat -
And then you fell for me too,
a few steps further, with all your chivalrous might.

You learnt me so well, now you get to remind me
how I'm no good at all with goodbyes..
All this time I'd forgotten about it,
busy trying to unpick all our hows and our whys.

Drive off to your bright new life, will you -
As my figure gets smaller in your rear view mirror..
I can't wait to meet you for tea when you're eighty;
Our promise, my true love, my best friend, my matey.
Whimsical youth
absentmindedly fell -
cliffside,
abruptly.

Love to the stars,
oath taken to stone;
to help you,
instruct me.

~

Stillness the moorland
of cherry pie kiss,
unwilling
fruition.

Patience, wise virtue
foremothers instilled,
jeune fille
in submission.

~

Tame was the Beast
at the mountain's heart deep,
lethargic,
sleepwalking.

Wild was the Princess
in her dreams of pink sweet
sins, secrets,
unspoken.

~

Long were the years
under fallen rocks over.
Now doubtlessly
older.

Black was one night,
set her sadness alight,
but the ash left
her colder.

~

Monsters awakened,
set the footpath ablaze,
hopelessly
grieving.

Freedom I call
you, trying to persuade
you, truth
unforgiving.
I cannot take the pain away
From missing you.
And I cannot interfere
With these recurring memories
The ones I thought I’d buried deep
Inside my boundless ocean.

No matter how many songless walks,
Or bottles of wine,
Poured down my long blue sundresses.
From behind my dark brown curtains,
Beneath my raging waves;
Resurface.

And keep smiling to me.
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