I thought a lot today, that doesn't happen often.

I thought about how I lost a big sister
I thought about how I am the only to laugh at my jokes
I thought about the days when I used to fit into a size six

I'm not one to often feel sorry for myself but when I think, I put myself into a bad mood.

I travel back to the days when I used to live with my father. He was once good, you know, but drugs can take a lot from a man

I went back to the day I broke my arm when I fell out of an apple tree and lied because I didn't want to get my grandma in trouble for not watching me

I went back to the day when they buried my best friend because of the sickness that invaded his body

I thought back to Thursday when I didn't hear my name called for the second round

I think back to all of the bad memories because that's all I can remember. Sad, right?

I told myself I'd write a happy poem but how can you write a poem without putting all of your emotions and thoughts into it? And the only thing I'm feeling and thinking right now is sadness

I'll just add "write a happy poem" to my bucket list, because I know that I'm not going to be able to write one soon

*maybe this is why i don't think a lot.

No one sees the pain she hides
The black and blue, she tries to disguise

Memories are few of happier days
For this little girl once named Kaye

Her fathers pride, her mothers pearl
Become distant memories for this little girl

A skinny bag of merely bones
A life of hell become her home

Her dad a drunk, her mother enraged
She's released the animal once caged

She's stabs her once, but hits her plenty
The tears are few, but the bruises are many

She uses food as a tool
But this little girl is no one's fool

She begs and steals for a crust of bread
The once love for her is now dead

One day or even up to four
The food game she uses on her

This little girl once named Kaye
Finds her will and will not cave

The nurse, her teachers were the ones who cared
To find her an out that no one before had dared

The police involved, her life now changed
A beaten and battered child no longer enslaved

It's alright
I'm okay
I tell you this
Every single day

You believe my lies
Because you don't care
You think it's fine
You don't see my arms
The rugged ****** lines

I'll hang my noose
And hold on tight
So there's no chance of it being loose
For this is my last night

Here's my goodbye
I left you a letter
I lied to your blue eyes
There's no chance of getting better

Goodbye
My friend
Please don't cry

The mothers don't care
The brothers don't share
The sisters push you
The dad overlooks you

They don't love
But they don't hate
They only leave room to discriminate

For you feel all alone
But there is no need to groan
It might not be alright
But you can win this fight

Dear, you are special
In your own way
This is why I am here to say
It will be okay.

Not everyone knows about your scars
Or the pills to make you see the stars

But I've been there
I have won that fight
I walk around with a smile on my face
To show I was there that night

I know your secrets
I know your lies
So you can no longer say goodbye

I'll be there to help you
At the end of the day
Maybe then you'll realize
*It will be okay.