I imagined your eyes
a million different times;
I remember seeing stars
within each and every stare
But now I can't recant the thought,
Universes may sometimes implode
The same way a hurting heart
keeps the heartbeats on hold;
And sometimes muffled long enough
You'll realise the screaming silence
is a sign that 'you no longer love'.
For some it is sadness, some it is joyous;
But for me, it is closure.

I imagined your eyes
a million different times;
and I'm glad I got to see
all that was stored behind
the blue sky you had for eyes.
Our chapter was never mine,
It had been yours all along
And with memories tarnished and gone,
I can only do so much as to say thank you.

Isolating myself,
confined to these four walls.
Refusing to care
Rejecting phone calls ..
And no doubt about it,it is very
safe to say
....One is a lonely number....
but that's how I stay.
Beaten,broken,betrayed ...
Life attempts to teach,,refine and ultimately birth a better me
But for now...... Being that there's a free will ,a hermit I choose to be.
But mainly I'm dying.

I tried to turn this anger into art
oh, god did I pray for one stroke of beauty
I was blinded by fog and the nausea consumed me
I fell to my knees looking for a single way to make sense of this hate
I don't remember how to channel my energy, the kind that just drains me
Into something healthy, something beautiful, something colorful
I just know that I'm struggling to stay above water
The tide comes in aggresively, and I am looking for a fight
I start arguments with the mirror to distract myself long enough not to collapse
Because I remember you're not coming back,
You're never coming back


*******.

Am I a black man in a white mans skin
Am I  the fire that comes from within
Am I to be held responsible for my cultures catalogue of sin
I have no idea of where my history does begin

Maybe I have the wrong genitals
In possession of a body that doesn't follow natures rules
Not a mammal just reptilian with a cold beating heart
Still not knowing where my history does start

I see the same as you through my narrowing eyes
Blinded to the unknown but I can see the lust for the lies
I didn't see a heaven as I climbed high into the skies
And never found from where it was my history did rise

A cold past
Shall forever last
Your story mine
As we all walk the same line
But around us all we build that fence
Never knowing from where our history
Did commence

Your land, not your war
But who was it that let them in the back door
It was you, it was me,
Trying to set our people free
Words spoken
So easily broken

Our futures merge
Our history we should purge
What has gone we cannot forget
So let's try to embrace that which hasn't happened yet
The value of our existence
Our great resilience
To relinquish our pain and move ahead
Our history has shown that far too many have bled

I listen as trucks
rumble past

hauling broken
concrete to fill a bog;

the sound tells me to go
to the backyard

to hear songs from  
hummingbird's wings.