How come your arms are not around me
When my heart is longing for you
Why are you never around
When i need you by my side
I want to give myself to you
And you to never let me go
I need a sweet surrender
To know this is forever

Loving you is a paradox
It is an oxymoron
Made in hell
Can't you see that I'm torn?
My head spins
I lose my senses
My body feels numb
I am indifferent to life
All that matters is you
I can't stay with you
Why do I cope with this so lightheaded;
I feel like I hate you
No one makes me feel worse
But no one makes me feel better
And more alive

Heres to you
The heartbreaker
You rip me up and pin me down
Then you leave me
And come back around
You play a game
That i would love to quit
But you always say
That i have to commit

Dear heartbreaker
What have i done
That i deserve this
While you're long gone
Dont you love me
Like you used to
I dont know
What you will do
You. You heartbreaker, you

I only hear you
When you dont say anything
I only see you
When you're not here
I only feel you
When you're not around
And now i cry
Cause i know you're hellbound

I think in weights and measures
to fit into your perfect frames
I swear I'll never be like you
I'd rather die then be like you
How come you always left
Your child is now a has been
How come you overheard the crying for help
Why didn't you care?
This is the highest that I've been
Don't you ever drag me down
Don't come back now
You were never around

I saw her today
With her big brown eyes
Cheeks blushing
Hair flying in the wind
I know now
How you can love her
She is so sweet
So kind
I wish you the best
Can she give you happiness
Like I can?
She is everything
You dream of
But she is not me

Every touch of your fingertips
Every blink your eyes make
Every breath of Air you take
It is all art

Everytime your lips smile
Everytime you shed a tear
Everytime you turn away
I let you deeper in my heart

I can smell fresh coffee
As I light my sigarette
It reminds me of you
This harsh mix of old and new
Still so fresh
And safe to know
It fills my lungs
And breaks me down
But I get up
It's over now

Everytime I look at you
I think of her
I think of what you did
It hurts so much
It breaks my heart
Why did you tear me apart?

Everytime I hear your name
I think of how you say hers
Do you like it better?
I don't want to know
I am desperate to know
Why can't you show me what I need?

Why is my life so miserable
All this confusion
What a disaster
I feel the anxiety creeping in
As i think of the smell of fresh brewed beer
Will it ever stop?

Life is so powerful
And can change in the blink of an eye
It is sweet like chocolate
And harsh like love
It will all work itself out
And then it will be okay

It aint wise to need someone like you
When you do the things you do
You build me up
And break me down
You break down my walls
And build me a house
But now i know what i must do
I must quit
you

If i could be that girl
I would be her forever
To earn your love
Everything you want
Everything you need
Whatever pleases you
I will be it
Ripe
****
Beautiful
What more do you ask
I wonder
Will it ever be

Close your eyes
Feel the heat
Sometimes it feels like someone
Took a knife and cut through my soul
I feel it burning in my skin
Rushing through my veins
Like toxic it burns
Shutting me down
Do you feel it now?

I'm sorry
Is all that I can say
There is nothing that can take back
All the mistakes
And I would fix all that I've done
If I could start again
By doing you right from wrong
I will promise you that
I'll stay strong
I will give you love like never before
Cause now I'm craving more
I promise,
We'll turn this around

I want to take you for granted
Like you do with me
If it wasn't what I wanted
I wouldn't try with all I have
I wouldn't push you away
But I will
It was never my intention
But still
You blew me off
And now I've had enough
I will let you down
Whenever you come around
I will take you for granted
Wasn't that what you wanted?

I wish I knew
Whether it was wrong or right
Is it really me,
Or is it my illness?
How would I know
What to listen to
When you occupy my mind

I don't know what to feel
Should I be concerned?
Maybe it is out of my hands
And maybe I should let it be
But how hard is that
When you have to decide

All this pretending
That everything’s alright
All this pretending
That we’ll be fine
All this pretending
That we’re not bothered
Its killing me
It is making me socially awkward
To know that I have to pretend
Pretend to be something I'm not
Okay with everything
That I'm not
Why do we put on a mask
Just to please everyone else?

To know that you're gone
Is suffering
It's slowly killing me
In ways I never imagined

To be apart from you
Is making me mad
And because of no sleep
My eyes will bleed
And therefore
My life will end

I'm taking baby steps
Into something I don't know
I'm trying to take it slow
How would you feel if I ran;
Would you find yourself
Another plan?
Things take time
So I try to be careful
I don't want to hurt you
Isn't this responsible?

I'm trying to figure out
What I should do
Maybe I just need to miss you
I'm taking my time
So please,
Take it slow
Cause there's nowhere else
I want to go

Painters paint alone
With their humble self
Swans love in pairs
Until their death does them part
Angels fly by themselves
Through the strongest light
People love together
Until the feeling breaks

We all lose our faces
And are left with broken pieces
We ask ourselves how long the nights will last
We all think alone
But we all feel together

I have a feeling in me
it's something I can't describe
I have never felt this way before
maybe I have never recognized it
it feels like my heart is exploding
into a thousand pieces
the most beautiful feeling
that I have ever felt
it is so beautiful
nothing can describe it
it rushes through my body
it heals all my wounds
that have bled until now
It breaks my heart
'Cause it's so beautiful

I am so thankful
So grateful
For everything you do
You put your heart and soul into it
And you,
Take the dark and make it light
You give me sight
You shall never think
That i don't care
Even if I fail to share
What I feel
You make my heart ache
With its complexity
It's like watching the sun rise
And watching ash turn into flames
And it means
So much

Can you feel our love
Dying
We’re losing our light
It doesn’t shine anymore
It doesn’t feel like before
Where did the flame go?
I need something right
There is something missing
I need something different
I need the guilt to let go
Set me free
Of all my pain
Take me out of the desert
And give me rain

I know I am yours
And that you are mine
Even if we fight
I know we'll be fine
You are the light
In my darkness
The happy in my sadness
You always watch over me
And make me eager to fight
You bring out my lust
You bring out my pain
You give me faith
And in you I can trust
You make me love you
And myself even more
I may not be simple
But it's you I adore

I shine a light on you
You glow so perfectly
So powerful
The wind rumbles through the trees
Stars sparkle in your eyes
You are craving for more
I see an imperfect reflection
The waves carry your feelings
Crashing in the harbor
Floating like a melody
The moon whispers your name
Softly speaking
'I love you' he says
As the sun takes his place

How do you choose
When there's nothing to choose between
Your body shuts down
Your mind is set to off
Your heart spins in circles

How do you choose
When you can't think clear
Nothing feels wrong
And nothing feels right
How do you choose
When you dont care anymore?

Forget me
I havent slept for days Because of you
Tell me
Are you happy now?
Days and weeks are passing by
And you lie
I dont want to be with you
I would rather be without you
Forget me

To love someone
That doesn't know you exist
Is a pure heartache
All the looks
And small talk
They see right through you
They don't recognize your beauty
You look at them
You're so naive
Maybe it will work itself out
They will come around
But the truth is
They won't

It finds me when i sleep
And when i am awake
It hunts me down
And calls my name
It takes me with its claws
Holds me down
And takes my breath
Someone take this beast out of me
It's killing me

Like a demon it obsesses me
Turns off my memory
Shuts out everyone i know
It resets my whole brain
And leaves me with pain
Untill there's nothing left but fear
I fall to the ground
And crumble
I feel like exploding
All i do is weep
This sits so deep

I try to tell myself
That I dont miss you
But I think about you
All the time
You are always on my mind
But I dont love you
I always will
Never have we been more apart
It hurts so bad
I'm not missing you at all
You are the piece I'm missing

Like a moth to a flame
Im drawn by your name
I see the burning in your eyes
As if you try to disguise
Why do you try to hide
From me, your dear lover

Like a burning candle
That will burn out
I try to figure out
When you are coming around
I've been waiting for you
For so long
But i'm starting to realize
That you're gone

And though i feel like i should die
The storms keep me awake
Rushing through my body
Shaking my bones
Opening windows
Shattering glass
Making me feel alive

I see it in your eyes
And in the way you speak
I see it in your tears
When your feelings make you weak
I dont know where we're going
But I know this much is true
I dont want to go anywhere
Without you

Look how the stars shine for you
In all the things you do
There is magic in everything
Its all beauty from the beginning
This comes from the inside
And all your art is real
You make it all with feeling
Which gives it much more meaning

Why are you so heartless;?
You leave without question
You do just fine
Did you ever care at all?
?What did I do;
?To deserve this mess
I must confess?
I have never felt worse?
As i burst?Into tears?
There's nothing more to fear
?It is already there

I just wanted to tell you
That it's not your fault
It's not even mine
It's a matter of heart
You can't control it with your mind
You talk about deciding
As if I should know
Why do you do that?
I have no place to go

"Time heals all wounds" they say
But how come I am still hurting
After all those years of healing
Is it just a bad joke?
Is it just to keep you from losing hope?
I try to think bright
But the pain comes to mind
So I try not to feel
Myself I will conceal

As I gaze into your eyes
I see the sun rising
You hide behind the clouds
The sky shows your every feeling
I get lost in them
Your eyes
You brighten up my day
Like the moon lights up the sky
I wish I could call you mine
Forever mine
Forever thine

There are a hundred reasons for me to leave
But I don't?I stay
?And I don't know why?
It is so exhausting
?Knowing that I break you
Am I a coward;?
Or am I just confused?
?I should let you be
But I can't
I stay

I will not leave
No matter how hard it may be
I will love you through all storms;

Cause a man will drown
In silent waters

Your only flaw is that you're flawless
Your cold behavior makes you so
Shallow
It doesn't make sense anymore
I can't handle it
I see it clearly
You dont have to say anything
You were it all
And one day
You will serve someone more lovely

I know that we belong together
But this is not the time
I'm telling you it's over
But you confuse my mind
What do you want?
I feel like your marionette
Only when you have the time you'll play
You leave me alone for hours
And come home like npthing's wrong
What are you thinking?
I don't want to play your games anymore

Why does my soul feel so bad
Is there something to fear?
As I walk into the unknown
I wonder
Where my road will go
Will it stay the same
I am so afraid of change

Why does my mind feel so mad
Is there something to feel?
As I travel all alone
Down this winding road
Is there something out there
On this road to nowhere..?

How come I am so tired
Of everything around me
Everyone I know
Is pushing me too much
I don’t know how I can cope
With feeling this way
In all these situations
How long will I be exhausted
And tire of social parties
How long will this anxiety
Keep me from being myself?

You can't always think
What you feel
We are all alone sometimes
We dont always know why
We just try to survive
Cope with the pain
Holding on to things
That are better off gone
We ruin ourselves
And find excuses
To why we are better off alone

How long will you be unavailable;
Emotionally
Needless to say
I am waiting
This relentless waiting
This expecting
Probably, it will break me
There's no easy way out
This pain is average
But it still burns
It is damaging
I'm looking for the purpose
And reason to give up
But I won't
I won't let you down

Loving someone is delayed pain
And it's a beautiful kind of it
We listen only to our hearts
Our mind is blocked
Consequences disappear
And in the blink of an eye
We lose someone

How will I know
That its time to let go
Time to move on
And find something new
How will I know
How long it will take
Will it be okay
Or will it make me break
How will I know
That its something I won't regret
That I won't miss you every day
It was all so perfect
How will I know
That it all will be fine
That I can move on
And leave you behind

Summer looks like you
Your smell is like spring
I breathe you in
And let you under my skin
Your softness like winter
Like fall your every feeling
By everything I'm seeing
You are the perfect human being

You save me from drowning
Everytime I dive
When I feel like disappearing
You give me a place to go
And when I feel like I'm collapsing
You hold me together with your soft embrace