I’m fine, thanks…  

                                                      ­                                                                 ­                       
Is that what you truly mean?

Or do you mean
I’m tired…
I’m lonely…
I’m hurt…
Confused. Bewildered. Angered.
Disillusioned…
Skeptical…

Or maybe
I’m distressed…
I’m woeful…
I’m pathetic…
Lost. Vulnerable.
Infuriated…
Empty. Lifeless. Crushed. Tortured. Dejected. Offended. Afflicted.
Desolate. Desperate. Rejected. Heartbroken…
Tormented…
I’m scared…
I’m disgruntled…
Embarrassed…
Weak. Dreadful. Hungry. Aggravated.
Guilty… Shameful… Frustrated… Jealous… Horrified…
Overwhelmed…
Devastated…

Defeated…



Is fine ever what you truly mean?
Or is it a cover?

experiences
memorializing now
what is from the past

Lights sparkle all around
Presents sit, waiting
Paper covered in sap

I thought I could trust you
With my hopes
My dreams
Secrets

But no
You turned them against me

Told the words I whispered
Cried and shouted
Spoken in
Confidence

With one single note
You have betrayed me
Hurt me
Wounded

Cutting
Deeper than any flesh wound

Now because of your childish pride
And your stubbornness
It is I who is being punished
Who has to live with your mistakes

You have cost me
More than you know

You’ve been banished from my parent’s lives
Not that I really blame them
For all the harm you’ve brought
them

Now that damage
Has carried on to me
And I have to live with it

You can go on your merry way
Having nothing to do with them
But I do

Because of you I can never
Have a celebration
A party
All of that is now gone

My graduation
Forget it
You’re no longer invited

My parent’s don’t want you in their home

Remember I said that
I wanted you to be my maid of
honor
Forget that too

Because of your selflessness
I have to live with the consequences
Even when I have done nothing
Wrong

Now because of you
my trust is











Lost

Walking down the bustling street
Stopping, listening
An old man playing spoons

Walking along,
Stopping to pick the ripened berries
The sweet sour taste entices the senses.

Cars passing quickly
My feet stagger on
Slowly falling into the tempo.
My thoughts wander
My troubles arise.

I reach a split in this mental road
Should I go left?
Should I go right?
Should I just turn around and give up?

I’m at the dead end
Looking over a cliff to the rough water below.
Maybe I should just jump in.
Feel the cold daggers against my skin.

The water draws me in
Welcoming me
Beckoning me.
Telling me to jump.

Should I take this leap into the unknown?
Prepare myself for the worst.
In order appreciate the best.

I need some help,
A lighthouse in the distance
The light giving guidance
Offering peace
Breaking though the night.

Where is my lighthouse?
Is there one?
Or is this the dead end.