I bleed
through the ink
on my paper
I scream
through the words
on my paper
I laugh
through the memories
on my paper
I cry
through the pain
on my paper
I speak
through the stains
on my paper

Tonight
there is nothing
on my paper

holding onto memories
so tight
my fingers grow numb
pushing memories
farther and farther
away
                     Why can't I
                                               Forget?
like the plague
wrapping around my mind
never leaving
a dream I wish
i'd never had
you are
someone
who's skin I long to touch
but my fingers would burn
because you are beautiful
and I am
a broken soul
because darling
puzzle pieces
do not fit
like this

Walls
Are meant to protect
Meant to keep one safe
To stop one from bleeding out

Why am I still bleeding?
Why don't I feel protected?
Why can't I hear anything anymore?

The walls
Have grown so thick
I hear nothing anymore
Nothing but the insults and pain
Bouncing around in my skull
So much
I can't hear anything else

My walls
Are changing
Are shifting
I put them up
I tore them down

My feet move
But I go nowhere
My heart beats
But I am not alive
My hands toil
But I feel nothing
My soul cries
But I am not saved

My walls
Without them
I'm broken
With them

I am destroyed.

I am so lonely
Even with all these people around me
They move and they speak
They laugh and they cry

I move and speak
And laugh and cry
But I am still so lonely.

So many people.
So much loneliness.

I watch
Silent and still
As the wind wraps around my head
And whips my hair
Gentle yet cruel
I can feel your words
Wrapping around my heart
I can hear them
In the wind
Yet it seems to drift through
Taking you with it
Washing you
From my damaged soul
I breathe
And for the first time
In a long, long time
It is all mine
It is relaxed
I am not waiting
I am not fighting
I am peaceful.

Take me home
To the place
Where my heart is at rest
Where my thoughts are calm
Where every rope
Is not a noose
Where every knife
Is not a weapon
Where I can breathe
Fresh air

Take me home
To the place I belong
The with people
Who love me
Be it here


                                                                   Or somewhere else.

I think
I've finally
Gotten a grip on my heart
Even if it's only for a second

I think
I've changed
And I'm a little stronger now
Maybe
My heart
Can handle
Something new

My heart
Can hardly beat
From all the abuse it's taken
But something
Is telling me

Something deep
Deeper than the depths of heart-
Maybe even my soul
That it's time

Things will be alright this time,
I hear

I want to take a chance.
I want to give my heart
That chance
To live again

I've learned
That the pain
In my heart
Is worse
Than any physical pain

My heart has a limp
My soul has a chip
I've just gotta
Give my heart the chance.

Who gave you the right to take my dreams?
And still keep yours?
Who do you think you are
To shatter my dreams
Call them petty
To replace them with yours?
Who do you think you are
To break me to pieces and expect me to get back up
To shatter the image I've built in the mirror.
To tell me who I am.
Who do you think you are
To steal a dream from a girl
Such a little girl she was.
She grew up fast.
You made her.
Her dreams
Merged with yours
She left hers
With her forgotten childhood.
She left it.
Left it for the Forgotten
The Forgotten feelings bubbling inside.
Dreams are not broken.
They are shattered.
Too many pieces.

They say
Time will wipe away
The tears

And give way
To a new beauty

But I know
As minutes
Hours
Days
And weeks
Tick by

That I will not forget you
Your smell,
Like sweet musk
Your eyes
A chocolate brown
Your height
Protecting and strong

I will only wait
For tomorrow's sorrow.

I've always thought
Summer's breezes
Were sweet and beautiful

Until the breeze
That blew threw my heart
And took you with it

I held out my hand
Fell to my knees
For you
But you were gone
Before I had the chance

I'd fallen
Like a feather onto the ground
Soft and gentle
Into your arms
Where you caught me

But now
The summer breeze
That runs it's soft fingers
Through my soul
Takes it with you
And you disappear

I hadn't realized
How much of you
Was my heart
Until I realized


                                I miss my heart