The lumber stacks
Covered in snow
No one around
to do anymore
I stand in the cold
crisp air
And contemplate
my dire despair
I see my dream
has come to end
Just like the others
and all their kin
And as I numb
to the cold and pain
I realize
it was for nothing
There was no gain
The snow crunches
as I go
back to my truck
to heat , to radio
I tried to take it
to the limit
I did my best
down to the minute
I failed the test
I never had a house
of my own
nor what you could
call a home
I always had
to chew on
the left over bones
So let the rivers
catch my drift
I'm moving on
So be it forthwith

My love has been soundly tested.
It is not wanting.
It is tempered in the fires of despair and lonliness;
Hammered and fashioned on the anvil of desire;
Polished mirror-like by reciprocity.
I display my love on high,
Where it glimmers
Under sun and scimitar moon.
Love is my defense held against all detractors,
For I too am loved,
I have been tested and found not wanting.
I am worthy.
I am Love.

Prayer needs a heart on fire to light the sacrifice of will enabling the sweet-smelling aroma of incense , that is pleasing to God , to rise to Heaven

Night could not be blacker
here, no street light to see by,
but when the Moon is full
casting eerie glows over the sea;
phantoms appear dancing.

The long hours slip by
weariness clings to me
thoughts become frayed
like a flag that whips in a cold wind
you can feel it snapping on the winds-cutting edge
that sound...that feeling consumes me

Will I meet my end shredded by all
I have withstood
will the strength to endure
be my undoing
by resisting I can no longer resist

Like a soldier I stand fast my ground
Like an apostle of night
I strip and kneel at the alter
hoping not to be called upon to rise
hoping not to know
all I fear to know

Fear and Doubt
are the Twin Gods
who fight within every man's soul
the rack and ruin of their battle
lay wasteland to a man's vision
of what is and what could be

Hold that line
Stand Fast that hope
Let the symbol of your heart stand against the wind

I notice the group of homeless people I see every morning
However this morning they are fully involved in some sort of drama
I notice how one man puts his arm around the other man
I notice the humanness, the support, the love and care

I notice the woman with the **** on her back
It pushes her fully forward so she can't see the sky
I notice her and her husband walking along by the sea
I notice how he is holding her hand
The sight fills my eyes with tears
I hope they go and drink a coffee and share a slice of carrot cake
I hope he kisses her cheek and tells her he loves her
I imagine a blanket of love enveloping them both

I notice the woman with the gold sandals and bunch of floweres sticking out her bag
I notice her dishevelled hair and clothes
I sense her aloness
Her sandals and floweres make me smile
I hope they make her smile too

The moments of beauty
The human need for love, beauty and support
These moments are all around
Within the sadness and dark realities
They are there
The magic is there

I've seen a ****** up version of love
And you've seen a solid version
I want a family
Solidity, love, belonging
I want a trust I have never known
I believe in love
With every fiber of my being I believe in love

She sits on a stool in the kitchen
The last of the evening sun caressing her face

She spent the last 2 hours dancing
Her body being moved by the music
Freedom flowing through her veins

She couldn't talk that day
All she could do was allow her body its voice
Trusting it to show her the way

She lit 4 candles
One for each of them
Her mother
Her sister
Her grandmother
And her

Her body moving
Freeing each of them as she moved
Past present and future dancing
Secrets whispered and revealed through her body

Brand yourself
Get followers
Create a network
Make a website
Put packages together
Who are you??
What is your offering??
It's too ******* much
Hold my hand
Whisper in my ear 'I can do it'
Tell me there's nothing to push
Tell me there's another way
Tell me I can trust the quiet unfolding of my own being
Seminars, webinars
On how they did it
On how they became successful
**** that word
What does it even mean?
I don't want to know how you did it
Keep quiet and let my soul do it it's own way
I don't want to sell you anything
I want to sit beside you
And look into your eyes
So that your soul knows
It's all ok
Better than ok
All is coming
All you have to do is listen and make the moves your heart tells you to make when the time is right

Sexually there was a roughness
You would stuff it into me
Without any softness or gentleness for yourself

Except paradoxically there was a softness
You were soft
You struggled to get fully hard

Oh the irony
How the body will create its own balance

Now that's changed
You have no problem getting hard

My softness opened you up
To sensuality, to eroticism, to life?

I can feel your desire for me
Your need for me

You let me get on top of you now
Often
You didn't used to

Now we silently negotiate
I surrender to you
And you surrender to me

Trusting me, allowing me to wrap you in my softness
You are crying out for my gentleness

You won't admit it but it is the antidote to your push push mentality

You look at me - really seeing me

*** is the place where our need for one another over flows
It's the place we are truly allowed to need each other

I need you. **** I need you
Your absence rips at my heart