i never used to smoke
but since you left,
it’s the only time i can seem to breathe

You want love
but not to fight for it

You want happiness
but not to seek it

The phone call is almost over
You didn’t forget to say the three magic words

At the end just one heartbeat left
only I could hear it

I loved you.
What did I get for it?
Nothing but depression

I wanted you so badly
That I would beg and plead to God
Every Sunday at church

I was like a child,
Asking my mother for the one lollipop
That was on the counter at the grocery

Then I think again
After a long time
"Was it worth it?"

I then remember
That I didn't even like the flavor
It was the worst flavor

It was the worst of all
But I still wanted it
Because I was blind

I cried
Because she never bought it
And I wanted that one

I then imagined
What I would do
If my mother had bought it

With my childlike mind,
I would have been overjoyed
To merely have it in my hand

But with who I am now,
I would've tossed it to the ground
And crushed it with my heel

This is what you have done to me
Feel better?
Me neither.

if the truth is life is meaningless
why then do I fear it?

perhaps because love feels so good
those few times I've been near it.

"Let's go on an adventure!"

Precious,
you are my adventure.