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Lianna Walters Feb 2016
This morning, it was hard for me to get out of bed.
I was so tired,
I was so willing to lay down,
Rest,
And give up
But I didn’t.
I got out of bed,
Got dressed,
And got ready for school
Most people only think about the war that comes with depression and anxiety
They don’t tell you about the many little battles
Battles I’m learning to overcome
They’re not easy battles,
But for the first time in a long time,
This morning,
*I won.
I'm still learning, but at least now I'm getting somewhere
Lianna Walters Jan 2016
He'll never know how much I love him.
He'll never know how sorry I am for everything
******, I'm sorry!
Just let me be sorry...
I'm sick of hiding behind simple words,
Choking on the ones I can't seem to grasp,
Letting abstract ideas pull me under,
I can't continue to let my mind and my heart go at war
I can't convey how much he means to me
How much he's my other half,
How much I yearn for his presence,
His arms,
His heart to be mine once again.
I can't find a way to let him know that it was a mistake
To let him know that I am his and only his,
To let him know I'm trying
And I'm trying
And I'm trying
But sometimes trying isn't enough,
I can't.
I can't even begin to express
How much I regret pushing him away.
And he'll never know how much I wish I could go back and change it
Lianna Walters Jan 2016
I’ll never forget you, it’s true
But it hurts and I don’t want to remember
I don’t want to remember all the times
You were more than I deserved
All the times you were there above anyone else
Because they’re only everlasting reminders
That you took a chance on me
And I let you down.
He knows who he is....
  Jan 2016 Lianna Walters
m i a
there were galaxies
in her eyes and every
time when she cried
the stars inside
of her eyes slowly
died.
<3
Lianna Walters Dec 2015
If you walk away,
Don’t try to come back
Because if you come back,
I can tell you how it’ll unfold
No matter where I am in my life,
I’ll automatically let you back in.
I’ll forgive you,
Even for things you haven’t yet forgiven yourself for
I’ll open back up
I’ll let you be in a position once again where you can destroy me
From the inside, out.
I’ll trust you.
Despite all of the negativity you have caused me,
I won’t be able to resist you,
And you know that.
You’ll stop chasing me
I’ll begin to chase you,
But we both know you’re faster
You’ll leave me shattered,
With cuts from my own broken shards
I’ll hold you accountable for my pain
I’ll hate you once again,
But I’ll hate myself more for handing you
My ability to be okay
I’ll slowly begin to pick myself up
And someone else will come along,
To help me glue myself together
Many pieces will be missing
The pieces you took with you,
Because you couldn’t admit that you didn’t want to let me go
I’ll move on
I’ll give my heart to someone else
And I’ll forget about you,
While you realize you loved me more,
Than you thought you would
You’ll begin to miss me more and more
Until you can’t bear it anymore
But I’ll be with someone else.
So please.
For both of our sakes,
If you walk away,
Stay away.
Lianna Walters Dec 2015
Inhale
The smoke burns down my throat
I'm dizzy
Exhale
It exits my lips,
Curling into the dark night sky
Repeat*
Each inhale leaves me wondering
Each exhale leaves me wanting
Desperately wanting
Maybe this time I'll get high enough
To maybe float away
And never come back down
Just something on my mind. It reminds me of a couple weeks ago.
Lianna Walters Nov 2015
I would say that I'm thankful to be alive
But that would be a lie
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