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 Oct 2017 Lex
h m w
He smiled at me and said 'here, take this'

It was a happy little pill of his and it would feel bliss

I smiled and gave him a kiss saying, 'thank you baby'

But what happened next forever will drive me crazy

Next thing you know I was spinning in my head

Then he wanted to bring me to a bed

His friends walked in and wanted more

So they all called me a ‘***** little *****’

My body was numb and I couldn’t move

I let out a scream but they didn’t approve

Everything went black but then again I woke

But to them it was nothing but a funny little joke

They locked me inside of a walk in closet

So if there was a stir I sure wouldn’t cause it

I blacked out again and woke in a different place

Treating me as if my soul were missing and my body were a case

Still I was unable to move nor speak

But he still said he loved me and kissed me on the cheek

I counted five inhumane beings on top of me moaning

One was even playfully groaning

I was disgusted and wanted it to end

But I knew that after this my mind would never mend

By now it would have been a little past three in the morning

Earlier I should have taken that adorable face as a warning

When they realized I was sobering up

They had an alibi saying they’d call this a hookup

When I could finally move my mouth again

I realized what had happened and felt heavy chest pain

They heard that I was muttering words that were incomprehensible

They saw me as nothing more than a body and that I was dispensable

They came up with a plan to hide my body in a ditch

I even heard one say, 'she deserved it, what a stupid *****'

I hit my head when they threw me on the ground

I only saw black in front of me and around

I woke up to a woman asking if I were okay

I only said one phrase and it was that 'I was betrayed'

What happened after that is irrelevant at best

All I will say is that I was nothing but stressed

This is my story and it happened two years ago today

Nailing an image in my mind that I was a targeted prey

I know now that I hold so much more worth

And I love myself more than anything on this Earth

Just know that these words have come straight from my heart

No matter how vile and disgusting this memory is, I can never restart

So I tried to make it a poem so it seems like some kind of art.

h.m.w
I am a ****** assault victim and I never received justice.
 Oct 2017 Lex
Ella
Empath
 Oct 2017 Lex
Ella
I
am
afraid
to
be
as
I
see
every
thing
 Oct 2017 Lex
sydney
drug abuse
 Oct 2017 Lex
sydney
you're a drug
and i can't stop
i can't stop breaking myself down for you
i'll never have enough, and i'll never be enough

i tear myself apart, scrabbling for things to get you
and just an ounce of you makes me feel relevant
it makes me feel here
it makes me feel sane

but you are so toxic
i am losing myself trying to get to you
i am lost

this isn't your fault
it is mine

i need to quit.
The color of Vegas
Is the gradient of a fading sunset

The color of Vegas
Is neon signs and crackling smiles

The color of Vegas
Is grey smoke and three golden sevens

The color of Vegas
Is overpriced steak and wet sand

Today
The color of Vegas
Is broken teeth
And
Grasping at a lover’s sleeve
And
Tears stained red
And
Flashes of blinding sound
And
Terror and screams

Today
The color of Vegas
Is splashing in the streets

The color of Vegas
Is the color of you and me
Heartbroken.
 Oct 2017 Lex
olivia
we are each a tiny planet
floating tirelessly
in an infinite galaxy
we call earth
 Oct 2017 Lex
olivia
orbit
 Oct 2017 Lex
olivia
the stars
are a way
the universe
is telling us
that beauty
can be found
in dark places
too
Hand in hand he leads me
down the hall to the bedroom,
     sweetness is found
  as love opens in full bloom.

    it’s in the way he touches
   the way he runs his fingers*
               through
                       my
                           red
                               hair

it’s in the way he makes me feel
    cherished, loved, adored
       making me feel as though

                              i’m
                     floating
                  on
                      air…..

I wish to be lost in that moment
                   forever
      a connection so strong
        an embrace so tight
      to just love him always
       everyday every night.

to take long walks
             along the countryside
    down an old dirt road
into the forest, we’ll hide……

then back home
              down that short hallway
to the room that he made
                 for that coming day…..

it’s all in what he does
   it’s in the way he touches

                  heart
                      body
  ­                      mind
                           soul….


          *I wish to freeze time
                 to be lost in that moment…..
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