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 May 2016 leinstinct
cartel
*055
 May 2016 leinstinct
cartel
So last night she picked up the phone and called you
The number you dialed is not responding, please try again later
So she did
Again
And again
Her pride escaping her as fast as the tears escaping her eyes
And she tried to catch them
But it’s hard to catch something when your simultaneously falling
And there’s no one to catch you
The poem I wrote to my subconscious when my consciousness stopped listening
 May 2016 leinstinct
Simpleton
I remember how you claimed to read me like a book
And then left me on the shelf
Forgotten by the person
I could never forget
Slowly quietly
Hiding behind closed doors
I remember
The time I loved you
Quickly frantically burying my tears
In the cloth of my sleeves
I remember
The time I loved you
sometimes...
the most beautiful thing about her
is when she cries

because that is the only way
to truly know how she feels on the inside
 May 2016 leinstinct
Johnnie Rae
Have you ever had so much to say, but no way to say it?
Every answer you've sought to find is true and tried but still,
to no avail, you're tongue tied.
Like the words behind your lips are in knots
and they're not as simple to detangle as earbuds,
(ha, what a laugh, even that is like rocket science)
Do you see the point I'm making?
It's like your own thoughts are encrypted
and you're forced to try and crack the code.
Like you've just self medicated with poison, and now,
you're trying to create the antidote
with shaky hands and eyes blinded by confusion.
It's like walking down the street with your shoelaces tied together
or sitting on a not so metaphorical bed of nails
Difficult, to say the least,
hell, even painstaking,
to want to scream every word at the top of your lungs,
but have no words to produce.
betrayed by your vocal chords, you're left mute,
and feeling stupid.
To have such a valid point but no way to make yourself understood,
It's like putting together a puzzle without finding the corners first.
Do you ever have something to say, but no way to say it? because I sure as hell do.
 May 2016 leinstinct
z
notice things
 May 2016 leinstinct
z
turn off the ac
turn off the fan
open the windows
don’t hear,
do listen
turn off the light
turn off the lamp
turn off the music
close the book
lay down
close your eyes
notice things
You must know the reason why she is silent. You must trace her weakest spots.You must write to her .You must remind her that you are there.You must know how long it takes for her to give up .You must be there to hold her when she is about to.You must love her because many have tried and failed .And she wants to know that she is worthy to be loved,that she is worthy to be kept.And This Is How You Keep Her.
even though we are no longer together
i will still whisper you name as i close my eyes
i will think of you from dusk to dawn
when i am standing at the alter
i will wish you were there too
when my child is born i will name him after you
i will never forget you
i will always long for you by my side
when i am old and weak i will still seek for you
i will love you to the day i die
cause i said forever i meant it
but you didn't
I'm funny!
I'm weird!
I'm happy!
I'm feared!
I'm so many things, but none so much as
Just another old human, a bit of a spaz
Who simply has got a few things to keep
Safely inside, locked away, within, deep.
I never could tell if those who act scared
Really feared me, or loved me, or even just cared.
I wonder sometimes what it's like to be you,
A normal old person, so boring a crew.
I wear many masks. The ordinary people are simply not interesting. I regret nothing, for I appreciate my insanity.
oh my god
I'm so sad....

I'm not depressed
I'm not angry
I'm just sad

sad
and empty.
lonely.

there's nothing else to say anymore.
I have no words.
I just sit at home wishing I had friends
I'm jealous of relationships people can form
I can't describe how I feel
I have one person
and I'm alone when they're not here

I'm just sad...
someone help me
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