Strap me up in a bullet proofless vest.
Empty the clip and let the lead to the rest.
I want to hear my bones break and see my skin rip.
I can hear my last exhale and ****** drip.

Cleaning the gun knowing you will use it anyway
Putting it back together like the life you wish you could say
Taking the cold lead and pressing it into the mag
Looking at your smoke taking your last stress free drag

Shaking and Screaming as you fight yourself for control
Anger and depression take hold
Feeling the cold barrel press it's steel lips to your skull
Finger shaking on trigger waiting to take your life whole

But you drop the gun and it clatters to the floor
and at that moment you are grateful you didn't close that door.

I was saved by myself when I wanted to die.

"I won't ***** you over."

For once in my life,
I need this to be real.
You know my past and present
understand how it might feel.
I know your situation
and I know it in and out
But despite it all I can't help but feel
That I'm only around from partial desperation.
I mean not this so harsh
But it's the bold reality
I'm so scared that you could leave a permanent laceration.
You can tear me apart
Without using your hands
You can take control of me
With such simple demands
I am scared that I might end up the puppet
and not the puppeteer
So please don't let me down
I have given you it all
If you choose to fail me,
Just simply let me drown.