I have trouble opening up to people
Must be hard to believe
Considering I write poetry for the world to see
But something about looking into the eyes of a person makes me crumble against my will
It’s hard to understand why I can’t talk to the ones I love without the voice in my head
‘No one cares’
Those three words repeated in my head over and over again
The voice of the people
I’ve tried to block out
I’ve had teachers forget my names in classes that I’ve attended for months
I guess it explains why I’m so good at hiding
It’s a skill for playing hide and seek and tag with your little cousins
But in the real world it’s the reason I have about 3 social skills
It’s easier to make friends online
I’ve done it so much I’ve forgotten how to hold a conversation with a person in real life when I can’t blame my mistakes on autocorrect
I’m not afraid of my friends online being rapists or predator
I find it’s more likely for the people in my everyday life to be them instead
I can’t use the excuse of being a small town girl tryna make it big
Because I grew up in the city were three homeless men were found dead in the past week
Maybe that’s why I have trouble talking to new people
Because I don’t want to be another unidentifiable body laying lifeless on the street I grew up on.
Because it’s easier to keep my mouth shut in class
Don’t raise your hand or you’ll be targeted by everyone who got the answer wrong
Maybe that why I over share my life online
I can block the people who hate me online, but I can’t block the ones who sit next to me in math class