Fck you for encouraging me to take out more than I needed
Fck you for not explaining the difference between subsidized and unsubsidized
Fck you for judging my eligibility based on my parent’s income and not my own
Fck you for pretending to look out for my best interest
Fck you for making me decide on whether to pay you, or go to the hospital
Fck you for harassing me via phone and email
Fck you for transferring my loans to a different company
Fck you for asking for money back BEFORE I graduated
Fck you for asking for money AFTER I graduated with NO job
Fck you for asking for MORE money after I got a job
Fck you for transferring my loans to a different company (again)
Fck you for suggesting a 30year repayment plan
Fck you for the high interest rates that negate the payments I was able to make
Fck you for adjusting my repayment plan without my consent
Fck you for suggesting a lower monthly payment as I crept toward full repayment
Fck your shoes with the belts on them (Boondocks)
And Fck Donald Trump
This is America sucka. The land of the free, and home of the brave
Not the sea of debt and house of enslavement
So, Fck you from the bottom of my heart, and if you call me again I’m gonna slap the sh*t out of you
Goodbye forever

I never want to be your "what if"
I never want my insecurities
to shorten your trajectory
I only want to provide the lift
I never want to be your "maybe"
I never want to be your "yes"
when "no" leads to success
I only want your safety
I never want you to second guess
I only want you to know this
I want you to know you are the best
and I want you to know, I know this

Questions vacant of desirable answers I don't entertain
But insanity drives my ambition towards these brick walls
because it's always better to attempt to penetrate the impossible
So I develop tools to move mountains
I acquire skills to forecast solar alignment
and strengthen my body to swim through treacherous waters
All, to enjoy life with you
Hopefully one day my efforts will be enough
but even the bravest of soldiers
Can be defeated unshielded from distant arrows

Butterflies flap their wings to escape gravity
Allowing the winds of change to lift them towards peace
like a monk's prayer
Say what you will about this story of humble beginnings
True humility is in the lobe it takes to encourage this journey
through times darker than shade
So I say to my butterfly
Let me be your wind
And always support your flight

Love's ghost possesses me to pick flowers
Sending whispers though my window, as I rest my eyes
Under dark skies my mind wonders though fields of fragrances
Sweet scents ****** me drawing me to a bouquet
That I will give to you when I wake
You, the girl of my dreams

Am I socially awkward?
Or am I observant?
Calculated even?
Putting worth into each, pause, "um", "like", pause again, hand gesture, smile, lack of smile, eyebrow raise, and any glance not toward my being during conversation for a duration longer than five seconds

Taking this worth and submitting it to an algorithm to decode temperament, interest and respect

And if said worth equates to a value lower than myself esteem I feel
Betrayed
Lonely
Abandoned
In that moment of eternity
That's not awkwardness
That, is purgatory
.........
Awk-ward

Love makes the inevitable, inviting
The darkness of death looming
Like a dark cloud on the brightest day
Undefeated
Love's rays of sunshine can not stop the rain
But each drop now has the potential to bow
Bringing a joy, we could never imagine