You’re your very own hero,
shining the ray of hope in your dark corner,
standing up for yourself,
even when you hear yourself stutter and falter.
You do your very own thing,
comfortable and beautiful in your own skin,
you’re that one true best friend you’ll ever have,
who will literally be there through thick and thin.

Not all heroes wear capes,
they’re normal humans who strongly live on.
Not all heroes fly through cities,
they walk ahead, all alone, even when everyone is gone.
Not all heroes save people,
some save themselves when they think
that they have nothing more.
Not all heroes want a ‘great future’,
they just endeavor to live life better than before.

So be your own hero,
look into the mirror and give it a wink,
love that hero looking back at you,
let that hero live every day, life goes by in a blink.

I made myself the ink
that you chose to write your love;
I made myself the pen
that you labelled was never enough.

I became the paper
that you wrote a love letter for someone else
And I couldn't hear my voice
As I let the feelings cage in, begging for help.

I became the pages
that you wrote a different story on
And I've been hurt by you
but I have no idea where the sorries are gone.

You never wrote about us
you wrote about him, about her, about Earth
But nowhere am I in words
and I ventured on to find my own worth.

I went a little too far...
and became mere playthings in your life...
I went a little too far...
and now I'm lost without a guiding light...
I went a little too far...
and I don't know how to feel alright.
I went a little too far...
a little too far, reaching out for you.
I went a little too far...
a little too far, drowned in an ocean of blue.

It was said
I was a kid,
Where life seemed
Like a purposeless lid
Covering pots and pans
That weren't ever to be seen.

I remember throwing
A temper tantrum;
I ran my head against
A brick and broken beam
Till my head bruised
Black and blue.
It was no suicide attempt;
It was said
I was a kid,
Where life seemed
Like a purposeless lid
Covering pots and pans
That weren't ever to be seen,
It was a cry for attention.

On one day,
After not having my way,
I fell into my daily routine,
To run my hard & hot head
Into a brick and broken beam,
Except this one day;
No black and blue bump was left
But a scrape of my giant forehead,
And as I bled, I remember blood
dripping into my eyes, crimson tears,
filled my soul and my aching day,
So completed in emotions of dismay;
I told myself 'I'll stop hurting myself,
over small and dumb stuff",
...

But came next day,
I fell into my daily routine,
To run my hard & hot head
Into a brick and broken beam.
It was said
I was a kid,
Where life seemed
Like a purposeless lid
Covering pots and pans
That weren't ever to be seen,
Looking for attention from
a mum who never saw me hurt myself
and a dad buried in the ground;
unable to even hear my cries.

It was said
I was a kid,
Where life seemed
Like a purposeless lid
Covering pots and pans
That weren't ever to be seen,
so instead i covered my life
with bruises and bumps.

mesmerized by minutiae
am now a mermaid
on the mainland
mindlessly milling about
without
control of musclebound legs
both manacled and free

minor mishaps and major setbacks
mirror the inside maniacal mentality
currently managing me

making frankenstienish manners
a mockery of the model citizen
I purport to be...

mild dyslexia, myopia, melancholy
hormonal changes,  missing ******
mindless weeping....throwing spanners
and all manners of fits
.....not to mention drooping bits....

madness beckons, second...seconds
each day an adventure in
crazed endocrinematic revelry

so tired and weary,
living the life of bleary wide eyed misery

good news though...
those in the know
say it only lasts
for three to five years

menopause.....give three flippin cheers

mercy...please

She wakes, afraid of being alone.
She sleeps, entering a battlezone.

She walks, dragging along her feet
As though each step is just repeat.

She smiles, aching her own cheeks
To force a fake sign that things aren't bleak.

She lays in bed, afraid to fall asleep
Hoping each conscious breath will keep.

She falls asleep, shuddering from nights before,
Ears ringing of her friend calling her a *****.

She sleeps, entering a battlezone.
She wakes, afraid of being alone.

.

Shaking a fountain pen’s
syrup from fizzing wounds
scarred with another’s words
misspelled of meaning
flavored in temperance
swallowed with pride
flowing through a straw
of sugar-free regrets

You’re social suicide ******* with a neat little bow.
You kiss and tell
In plain view of the world
And the men admire your tenacity.
You don’t pretend to care
So maybe that’s why
You draw me in so effortlessly
With your gangly fingers
And that cross hung limply
Around your neck
With no meaning at all.
I don’t expect more
Than you give;
You don’t give
More than you take.
The cycle repeats
With every moon,
Keeping me up at night
Howling
While I wait for you
And you don’t wait for me
And I never come.
Promises made to myself
That I never keep
Because the tides are rising and falling
But you are always there
In the middle of the sea,
Never changing,
Never growing,
Never feeling anything at all.

Suicide should only be committed once*
So why the hell do I try every couple months
Something's up with the water
I don't feel the rush like I used to
There's no happiness tutorials on YouTube
I laced together my shoes, through them on a wire and convinced myself to sit and think
The kitchen sink's dishes stink
But you are what you eat and I had a helping of insane

Low key lowlife, broke and high under a spotlight
No ice so there's more drink at the drive thru window with my eyes suspiciously low
I'm ridiculously close to laughing what's left of my mind away
I forgot how it feels to feel fine today
It's either *love or hate and there's no areas of gray

*I wish I had a thousand hours to sit down and figure out exactly what the **** that I've been running from
I wish someone would stick around long enough to identify with the place that I'm coming from