To accept my fate
Is to throw my life away
To do what's best for myself
Is to take away the good things in my life

I've always
Prayed every night
Asking God to let me see
Through both eyes
The the world
The way everyone else does

But I now know
That that'll never happen
To be honest
My faith is shaken
And I've never felt
More forsaken

What'll happen to me now?
Should I just roll over and die?
Because that's what it feels like I'm doing
Just because of one
Useless eye

It's not fair
The way I've taken it
All in stride
It's not fair
How my eye
Can no longer see colors
Everything is turning black
It's not fair
I'm only nineteen

I'm fully prepared
And fully aware
Of what's happening
And what the outcome will be

But I'm still afraid
The thought
It terrifies me
And I just want to give up
On life
On everything

Surrounded by water
I feel peace
As I let my body
Slip underneath the surface
I'm at home

I'm happy
There's only one thing
In front of me
And it's clear
And it carries me
There's no place that I'd rather be

I could spend my whole life
Intertwined with the current

Everything goes quiet
There's no stress
Not a voice inside my head

There are so many things
So many reasons
Why I should care
About life
About people
Things that I can't learn to care about

I am a shut in
Alone and dry
But I never lonely
For my shadow
Holds me in the night
My reflection
Gives me conversation
I am my own source
Of entertainment

So many times
I've tried to reach out
Tried to be social
Tried to change my
Very way of thinking

But the darkness
As it lulls me to sleep
It ***** me in
Where I will forever be

Kick me down
But I won't fall

**** my spirit
But I'll come back strong

I've been abused
So many times before
So what's another beating?

I've been pushed so far
That I can no longer break
I clench my teeth
And brace my self
For the pain
I push right through
With a smile on my face
Nobody even questions
If it looks out of place

I've become so well
At hiding my feelings
So well at making everyone
Believe in
the words I say
But, you see, I
Am a compulsive liar
One who will never falter
In her charade
Because to me
It's more than just a game
I'm a survivor
In a cruel world

My mind
Searches for reasons why
I should care or be here at all

My soul
It yearns for something more
Something yet to come
Or something in the past
That has been taken from my

My heart
Aches and grows tired of beating
After every breath I take

My body
Has grown weary
From all the abuse
I give to myself from day to day

My skin
I wear it so well
But I want to get out of it
Because it's uncomfortable as hell

My eyes
Try to look towards a better life
But then I get snapped back
To where I started and I struggle to climb