I've held the hands of ****** addicts.
I've kissed the faces of prostitutes.
I've hugged the bodies of the most broken.

To walk amongst the dead is where I belong.
To hold the fingers of lifeless flesh is the only thing these hands know to do.

Let me show you a love you've never known to exist.
Let me tell you about a life you've only dreamed about.

I'll glue every piece of your shattered body together.
No matter how much blood drips from these hands, I'll mend every sharp edge.

The scars on these hands will remind me of every soul I've been stitched with.

These deep, stretched, alluring scars.

Love & loss
these women
Are like knives
That slice through your throat
Over and over again
Tearing skin
Losing breath, voiceless
And leaves you wet on the floor
unsure of things you'd instilled in yourself
Way before
Unsure of who you fell in love with
Empty and caving in
balled up like another mistake
& watching you replace it

I don't know if that was the right thing to say
of if I even know what that is anymore

Staring at every corner of your face.
Your eyelids shut so tightly.
The edges of your lips so still.
I crave to know what's in that brain.
You rest so still, as if you have never known of any living hell.
As if you've never heard of the battle.
The war partaking so constantly inside of me.
I am so envious of your nights.
My home is sleepless.
As far from your familiarity as possible.

Stop these words.
These meaningless, nonsensical words.
As my mind races I hold my hands out trying to catch any falling letter.
As if I'm drowning, I choke on the logic spilling from my lips.

I’ve never known an emotion like this.
One that makes my stomach flip.
My hair stand up.
My body turn to ice.
One that turns my mind to mush.
The constant static in my thoughts disappears and silence over whelms my being.
I can feel my stomach crawling up my chest and into my throat.
My planted feet become so weak as i try and grip so tightly on reality.
“It’s not real. It’s not real. It’s not real.” i keep chanting to myself, trying to find some glimpse of victory over this crippling impression.