it *****
that the burn of the second love
lasts longer than the first
even though it is an entirely different love

such a wonderful human being
pure blue eyes to match a pure soul
and oh how I wish
I was the human for him
but I am not

the human for him
is out there somewhere
and it's odd to think
that our paths may have crossed
and that she can love him
in a way that I am unable to

the stars shine for you
but I am a dark cloud covering them
and after my storm passes
you will see yellow light again
I promise

and I will always love you
but not in the way you deserve
and it *****

because the second love
hurts much worse than the first

There is no flaw in you, my love
Yet you lie in bed and cry
Salty tears like 100 feet down
Waves upon waves of sighs
There is no flaw in you, my love
Your eyes sparkle like a pretty ring
Round marbles of blue gazing at me
So glacially aquamarine
There is no flaw in you, my love
Your voice cracks when you're upset
An audible version of your heart
That you try so hard to forget
There is no flaw in you, my love
You change like a mountain meadow
All four seasons rolled into one
And you live in your own shadow
There is only good in you, my love
Something you cannot see
Is how everyone adores
the person you are
Everyone including me

I was made of the stars
But you were made of the sea
I was always convinced
That through your veins ran galaxies

And your baby blues
Looked like the earth from space
The cigarette smoke on your lips
I would always trace

In your eyes I floated
Your lips I drank
Between your sheets I swam
But in your words I sank

In the depths of your ocean
I called out
water muffles words
from 100 feet down

So here I am now
At the bottom of the sea
Weighted down on the floor
Tears are quite salty

It's a sleepy kind of missing you

I wake up in the morning
And the sunlight coming through
My windows
Reminds me of the first time you said
I love you
And the dust particles
Floated between our
brown speckled eyes
I should have known

Evening tiredness
Reminds me of the first time I knew
I was in love with you
And you asked me how I was
In your mother's backyard
And the sunlight hit
Your brown speckled eyes
I should have known

I go to sleep at night
And the moon reminds me
Of the time we stood
Outside your house
And you told me
How we'd always be seeing the
Same moon
And how it'd always be the size
Of the tip of my thumb
I should have known

A sleepy kind of missing you
a longing that never quite dissipates
Kind of like being stuck
Between being awake
And being asleep

I always inquire
about his past relationships
sometimes a little too much

and he always gets annoyed
when I ask about the girls
he loved and then left
because he thinks
that I think
he is bad

but really
he is good
and
I want to discover
the little parts of his heart
that he did't let them see
because
when you love someone
you want to make sure
that the things the others did
to make him leave




you never do

My lips tasted like sangria
And it was just a little
Too much
For one night
And so I ran

I could drown
In his blue eyes
Like a sea
Calling me home
I could listen to his voice
For it sounds like the waves crashing
Upon the shore
Time and time again
Calling me home
And he has galaxies swimming
Through his veins
Because no astronomer can be
With someone who does not
And they're the Milky Way
And they are my home

And so I'll press
The reset button
And wish on my lucky stars
He is willing to rewind
And call me home

Oh, my love
your eyes are not "plain blue"
they are the ocean waves on a cloudless day
outlined by the zaffre atmosphere
a field of bluebonnets speckled with green leaves
like the world floating in space

oh, my love
your eyes are not "just brown"
they are the earth after it rains
dense and brimming with life
they are dark chocolate cake drizzled with honey
they are espresso stained pages you brought home
from the coffee shop you frequent

oh, my love
your eyes are not "simply green"
they are spring's first bud
they are foot deep in a lake
they are a northwestern forest
as emerald as your mother's ring

oh, my love
you are so much more

I read the entire book in one day
I couldn't put it down
it moved me unlike anything I have ever read
and when it was finished, I had tears streaming down my face
sometimes I still pick it up to read my favorite passage
or I find myself analyzing every last bit of text

aren't you the human version
of my favorite book?

opposites attract
thank you Isaac Newton
but you were not my opposite
not my compliment
not my counterpart
you were me
in a boy's body
and I think
it got too painful
to watch myself drown

freckles
that look like constellations
eyes
the color of a sea green ocean
bones
that sprout wildflowers between them
but a mind
that is torn apart
identical
to her heart
and she does not
cannot
will not
understand
that after the storm
she'll                  connect the stars
she'll                         see the crashing waves
she'll                                 feel the fields of flowers
and
she
will
be
whole

"sing to me
a melody"
he said,
"you have the voice of
an angel"
and so I sung
the first time that I had ever
in front of anyone except
my own conscience
and that
is how
the devil fell in love

every once in awhile
i'll stumble across something that reminds
me
of you
a song
a picture
text messages
a word
sometimes even
a smell
and i'm suddenly plunged into the sadness I
once felt
but after a split second
it disappears
as if it was
                    never
                                 even
                                            there
leaving me thinking
that you never
really were

Do not fall in love with Astrophysicists
We will tell you that
Your eyes glimmer like the stars
you have galaxies swimming in your veins
That your words sound like the spinning of a world around a sun
That the planet recently discovered dwarfs
In comparison to you
And that you are our universe
And when we are gone
You will never be able
To look up
Ever again

I have trouble at high altitudes
and I can't run more than a few steps without tiring
I'm a dancer but I gasp for air after
every performance
and my mouth tastes of pennies
I will never climb Mt. Everest
or smoke a single cigarette
I will not live in Beijing or own a cat
or be a deep sea diver
the best thing
they will ever do for me
is whisper your name

As I drift off
Into my dreams
I dream of you
Or is it a nightmare?
Lost love, or love that needs to be found
Haunts me
But you're innocent
Not the culprit
Even though you place
all the blame on
your weak heart
Give me thunder, give me lightning
Give me steel to mend the muscle
in your chest
Let me be your kryptonite
I'll make you superman
And when it's all over
Just another
Clark Kent

John Muir said it best
"the mountains are
calling and I must
go"
but
to where?
to the top?
I have never been
able
to make it to the top
maybe it's my ****** lungs
or my fleeting pessimism
maybe if I was
a bit more
optimistic
I could climb all
29,029
feet

"Talk to me
in poetry"
he said,
so I whispered
nothingness
through the quiet cold air
breathless
for he was my silent prayer
and I
just a pattern
in the chaos