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 Jan 2018 jza aguilar
Bobcat
Inhale
Exhale
Your very first
My most important

Your hand
My thumb
You held it so tight
I couldn't hold my tears

8pm
2am
Every night
To make sure you're fed

My side
Her side
You in the middle
Across from your neglected crib

Left foot
Right foot
Your first steps
Corners were quickly covered

Fast forward
Slow down
You're getting so big
I always did my very best

She yelled
I cried
Those three words
You weren't mine

She left
You left
You met your dad
I found vices to cope

Few words
Left unsaid
You're still too young to know
That although not by blood

You were still my son.
Somehow,
it convinces you to swallow
a constant flow of
molten tar,
soon to blacken the pink
matter that resides
in you,
eventually oozing through the
pores of your paper-thin
skin –
and once you finally
unlock your jaws to
scream,
The ones you thought would
save you shove it back
down your throat with
laughter.
 Jan 2018 jza aguilar
Amelia Rose
What gives them the right to say
everything will be okay?
When in fact,
years and years have passed
with my emotions masked.
I struggle through each day
without the strength to say,
I hate the useless fights.
I cry myself to sleep each night.

I've mastered the art of silent tears.
Each night. Each month. Each year.
My family tries to understand my emotions,
claims they've been in this same motion
but, oh, how could they have been?

I watch from the outside,
continuously struggling to get inside.
I watch the family of four,
though only from the door.
And ask myself,
Where am I in this mix?
It's simple. I merely don't exist.

But it didn't start off this way. No.
When exactly did I go?
My soul is trampled on.
My heart seams simply gone.

I watch as my siblings change,
growing each and every day,
and here I am staying precisely the same.

They say I'm afraid to develop.
When in fact, I've simply given up.
They say each day is a token.
Then why does it just leave me broken?
When I try to explain,
they say don't complain.
But they just don't see,
It's not my surroundings that make me unhappy.
It's simply what's inside of me.
Which happens to be nothing.

So now I will ask,
When will this pass?
Another day. Another month. Another year.
How long must I continue with these silent tears?
My first poem! It's a bit of a sad one, but it really exemplifies my emotional struggles recently. My friend said she really related to it, so I thought I would share it. Thanks for reading.
 Jan 2018 jza aguilar
III
The girl who tied
     Roses around her
     Tongue in hopes
To taste no evil
Bled to death
    With thorns
          In her teeth.
Part 1
 Jan 2018 jza aguilar
Maria Etre
I am not tempted
I willingly choose
I am not sinning
I am committing
I am not hiding
I am exhibiting
I am not wrong doing
I am rightly living
then why
classify
who does what?
You do what you think is right
 Jan 2018 jza aguilar
Jungdok
Why don't we try to be that person we claim we deserve?
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