i remember
i am remembering a voice i have never heard.
you have come alive, after your death.
i lost you. i am to blame.
im losing myself to you. i am to blame.
somebody tell her to come back to me.
i promise never to harm her
i promise to be good
i promise, just someone, bring her back to me.


these feelings came to me when I remembered to breathe while realizing you are no longer here


every time I do
i die, more than a lot, on the inside



your name is pretty
tell it to me
what was it ?
what was it really ?

the silence
isn't all that bad until I realize you're not there to answer.


im stuck here, writing notes as I messaged you just a week ago

But with no response
instead just the off beat of my heart
Telling me you're gone

i lied and said i need you. I don't. I need her. I miss her. I'm sorry. I do love you but this void needs filling you're more than willing. I could be good to you. Do right by you...past experiences have me shook.

time will eventually knock on my door and tell me I'm not needed around anymore... .said .gray under the moonlight trying to find forever and realising.....
realising forever is only but another one of her dreams. She feels her coffee going cold and the void in her heart turning cold too, nothing lasts forever.
you made the palm of her hands you're world, you put your heart into moulding this world and she repeatedly closes her palms to show you how the pain you had once sworn to never feel, will be your beings demise.

Let love in , they said
She gripped her palms tighter, she did
   Breaking my world and walking away with my heart.
Warm fingers? Could never melt the void
But two cold and sad souls could never make each other happy or heal each other either.

What is one to do with epiphanies at night time.

the anger consumed me and i could no longer hold or bare the sight of you
the fire raging in my eyes, my fists , causing me to tremble like never before
the anger consumed me i let you see that part of me, directed to you, it was not, the impending thought of how my arms couldn't cradle you as I should have
the anger consumed and took the ability of loving you as you should away.
i cannot tell how much it hurts, it doesn't, paper beats rock, anger beats sadness and the nothingness ? that beats me.

shewrites.
fingers tapping, typing.
heavy hearts, i cannot breathe.
tell me what do to do with the unfeeling in my fingers? how do i cry over things that seem meaningless. Sometimes letting go is the best thing.
I'm not worth ****, I'm not good for anyone. I ******* see this, the unfeeling in my hands prevents me from feeling anything but anger.
Susceptible to emotions? not a ******* chance.
When breathing on my own becomes the hardest thing ever.
Pill popping puppy, leave me to not feel. **** happens.

I look at the beauty inside of all her broken pieces and I wonder how anyone, how I could have shattered such a gift.
I want you to know that I don't write poetry for you, I write it all for me, In order for me to be good enough for you, I need to be better than who I was yesterday, a week,month, year ago. I need to be enough for you I need to feel as though I am worthy, as of now ? I do not feel as though I am.
With everything being thrown at us and me having this weak and fickle heart and an imbalanced brain, I tend to go back in time , self introspect was never my friend , I was never my friend, all that is good for me is you and the poetry.
Bad for me..you are but good is not what I'm looking for , good is not what my mind thinks about , as bad as you are? You're worth all the heartache, I choose to be here, you've granted me the pleasure of being yours and pieces of me are slowly returning and we're becoming better, I pronise.
I digress, I cannot stomach the thought of all my indiscretions , I cannot tell you how sorry I am for my fear of a good thing.

" it's the eyes chico, they never lie " how I wish you could see mine. Tear stained, tired and then again not because I cannot lie and say that just seeing yours light up doesn't make my heart smile. I told her that, I love you, I also told her a whole lot more. One thing that stuck was " I know what being without her feels like and God loving her  from a far, from a careful distance, is better than anything else, is better than having to go on as if, you arent  "

poetry lost its grandeur when I realized that this body of words could not make you love me.
poetry lost itself to me|when I realized everything ever wrote has an ending.
when i realized, everything that could have been|you stomped on|after. . . You killed me.

She said : " you're too young for a stable and lasting relationship "
I said : " I love you , because our friendship has grown into the most beautiful thing ever , see I've known her since the seventh grade and i fell in love with her in the eighth because she was and still is everything to me, my king, she is, my queen too.

Say what you will about my fickle heart and her but she's the only girl that has never allowed me to feel sorry for myself and has allowed me to live as if I'm " normal " I am " normal " .
Rae? The love I have for you? It is ******* beautiful. I promise

me, you and Hennessy.
me, you this Hennessy.
three different people, one night...
this one night...
I swear this is about to turn into a piece about how we three came together with these trees, lit..
you, me ..this Hennessy talking to me baby and I've been thinking about you.
right now I'm about to let this henny talk , see I've been watching you tonight.. this night, stargazing ....you me, falling for the moon..the stars.. baby this is where we are, me in between your legs, thighs rubbing on my neck , warmth on my ears.. This is me, you and where we're meant to be...together us three..


me you this Hennessy lets get acquainted, the henny speaks to me and I to you, you could call henny the wing because once Richard got that whiff he's never been able to say no to nights with you. Richard got a whiff, his fix, the aroma.. my god, blaspheme i apologise , speaking in tongue, my tongue in your ear, mouth, neck, *******, naval back to your *******, Richard lost track of time he has got to dip but still he stands at attention...minutes gone by forgetting the whiff he once caught, slowly going down, tying his shoes looking up to you on one knee, that whiff, your *****... he has to dip but watching you drip ? the henny, the devil on his shoulder whispered to him " devour her, eat at her soul, speak in tongues , spell her name with your tongue, make her see stars because under the stars, that's where it all began.. us stargazing , stars gazing , you dazing... daisies. day in day out you , me and this Hennessy ...pure bliss.

Hospital beds
My hands are shaking I'm looking for something solid to grip on to before I wither away into the hands of doctors, narcotics and with everything in me I am trying to hold onto this because I don't want to be taken away from you, not now or ever.
I am afraid
Scared shitless : rephrased
Shaking hands don't take me away from my safe haven , rather put me next to her bed , I promise I'll lay peacefully and not giving anyone any trouble.

forgetting you? cannot do it with a sober mind. 
I'd rather fall into a drug induced coma than try to forget you with all my pieces intact, my mind intact, my heart in place. 
I want to feel forgetting as a cathartic emotion than a numbing aid. 
I don't want to feel you. I feel you through the nothingness and it is overwhelming. 
weeping willows weeping willows. weeping in the rain the wind carrying the weeping willows as they sing. my heart weeping for you. my willow you. 
drug induced coma; forgetting her ; without the nothingness..

nothingness seeping through cracked windows and closed palms, you do not belong here, she said to herself repeatedly, rocking back and forth in the corner daddy once told her to stay away from.
nothingness, aching in the most sacred parts of her being.
she said to me : " you may lose yourself to the silence but keep the good in you away from the silence "
what she doesn't know is the silence, the nothingness ? became so much that it one day took over and devoured the good in me, for the life of me, i haven't been able to piece myself together.
just breathing, existing..

Pick Up The Microphone

  Pick up the microphone,
hear me speak,
I see you looking at me,
feeding me the words coming out of my mouth,
feeding off of my energy, the hype,
catharsis personified is what you are in that moment.
I digressed but yeah correct me if needs be.

If needs be,
Words?
Where we have Mr.Ease and Difficulty,
Then the least they do is hug me.

Pick up the microphone,
Noises spoke,
Voices wrote,
The philosophy,
And the etymology,
To shine with glitter by the twang which is spoken,
From pretty little girls that provoke them,

Pick up the microphone,
Give birth to the word which is answered,
Give in the words to be renowned and,.
be free with the verb that has  inaugurated me,

With this personal noun stands my identity,
My adjective accommodating the quality,
Adverb knowing the effect of me,
So,the next time you blur vision, to get a vivid state of mind.
You better PICK UP THAT MICROPHONE .

I am the purge.
But becoming ThePurge, the thrill, I was never ready for the process, forced by my subconscious and the word itself, catharsis I am not, i ran away from my demons and with that one breath I took, the caught up to me and forced the life out of me, fingers pressed together, pressed right into the soon ending abyss.. regurgitation ? Not so much , I looked at my life in the toilet bowl and hid it, and with one swift move? ThePurge never happened. ThePurge never existed.
I promised I would not give in, but the thrilling sensation of the acid in my throat was worth it.
Not the last letter. I will come alive again.

..earthquakes beneath my skin.
i posses the power
     of unruly waves.
you've seen me shake.
i cannot count on you to hold me
    when i am most troubled.
..earthquakes beneath my skin,
tremors i could never control.
suicide|

specks of light in the skies, always amounting to the stars i counted and slowly realising how deep this love goes, i could never look you in the eye to see the constellations shining bright

questions existing. questions unanswered, the world we live in is not what it seems, i don't mean to stir up and shift the earth of its axis but, questions are left unanswered, almost cures found money making schemes.
question existing, why don't you love me

we're haunted by shadows of what could have been, unfulfilled dreams of what ifs, weeping willows speak to me as the wolves howl at the moon, looking right at the constellations i could never bare to look at for risk of having this fire lit while you move on to another who cares for naught while i stare at the stars and howl with the moon with guilt of loving you and you taking too much, a ***** shame, sins we've committed, i pray to the heavens that i get in

" If I could give myself to you I would "
...
Is this not love?
Maybe I want to believe that it is?
Is this not love?
What the hell is this?
Is this not love?
Should it be this difficult
Is this no...it's been three years
Is this no...walk away
It's lov...no walk...it's love
No!

Rhythm is poetic..
We all know how catharsis emotes, she purges, taps.
She taps away at the keys and if the silence was not too loud you'd hear how the keys on this device create a beautiful kind of rhythm because she says rhythm is poetic and I am thinking of her, thoughts of how if I was ever granted the pleasure of seeing her ..holding her, these thoughts lead to how I imagine her smile would look like and how that would make my heart skip beats, how my heart would race and how beautiful the sound would be..  how I'd ask her to stand close enough to hear it say... rhythm is poetic, rhythm is poetic, rhythm is poetic, this beat, swaying her emotions, letting then run wild because, my heart beats at the tune she hummed, beat..boxed, Sophia Thakur did that.. not a single beat but three beautiful sounds connecting two beings.. two kindred spirits. 
Rhythm is poetic, catharsis personified it, her smile and my heart danced to a beat under the stars with the stars creating constellations, beautiful constellations, creating seasons and the beat created the illusion of a fifth season. Our maker did with the heavens and the earth, we create our own little heaven in moments brought together by time, the stars, her smile, my hitching breath and my heartbeat.

nights made for sleeping
not thinking
maybe we're just programmed differently.
somewhere, something went wrong.
i think more than i sleep.

silent afters. sza. tears rolling down my face into a never ending abyss. 
I miss you, i really ******* miss you. it's messing with my mind. 
I miss you so so much. 

silent afters. silent afters. silent afters. 
nothing silent about them, the silence. the bane of my existence. the emptiness right next to my coffee cup. too loud, the silence. the silence is too loud. 
 silent afters. lessons learned. I would love and live for you all over again, silent afters lessons learned. the nothingness leaves me cold and empty and nothing. 
lessons learned, none. 
you were something. something worth doing again. all over again. 
you were really something. 

silent afters. no regrets. just nothingness. with a slight bitterness of what ifs.
 what if I hadn't. where would I be. I doubt I'd be anywhere special, highly spirited sense. some things we refuse to take back. I could never, I would never.

you know how much you hurt me, how much you broke me.
whenever i say I love you, that's all you think of.
It's all I can think off and still I cannot stop myself

stay away, sweet misery. the love she gave you was never yours too keep. love her wholeheartedly and watch her walk away with all you had to give.
stay away. sweet sweet misery.

He said to her;
  -Love, unrequited
Feelings that could not be debated, you ran and I chased, instead of trying to get this paper.
You took a glance,
I took a chance and stared, into a space where my subconscious mind travelled on the daily like fresh bread and....that place happened to be where the galaxy unfolded..

A place where I would stretch your folds and you with your own moans, damaged your walls but never spray my graffiti on them.
You swallowed my ***** so I thought Richard would be the reason you wouldn't see men, but it seems when all it ends you drop me like the ash of that cigarette you so eagerly urged me to leave, but in between contemplation and how my heart skipped beats at the thought of you not being... I saw no reason.

Your touch had no equal, your tongue was lethal. A poison that subsides my pride and doubt it , but kind of made me feel how you only did so well cause no other compared to how I had you screaming, whimpering.. How you shuddered when I made you numb to all senses and when your knees weakened , that one faithful Friday evening.

See we fought but talked about it when the heat settled, like the humidity when I sat and thought about it all the next morning ... Mourning emotions what were non-existent, the regret swam through my thought canals like when you came to your senses after your reign of pleasure.
But things could never be the same , we all suppress pain in our own unique ways.
A love song minus one
We spoke a language of lies but it was fun , so we went on separate paths just to meet again and ignite the spark with ember words, no inhibitions, just fire..

The aftermath of the one night stand that never ceases to be found inside my mind which I hope to lose sometimes.

She said to her:
This love, this unrequited love like a lover drowning in an ocean of her very own tears, screaming the words
" do not come near me, don't save me " this unrequited love like a bated breath, I wait for thee to see the look in my eyes, to see the raw emotion.
How mistaken I was, the raw emotion you saw in my eyes.. The one I'd let close enough to see me, only revealed at my most vulnerable moments when you were in between legs you're tongue , torturous... refusing to let me come , because that's all It was to you.. A game.. I was your unrequited lover, submitting to all the ******* you called love, it was not. I was the one you called when the silence was too loud and with my wavering heart and aching core I gave into you like you never left my side.

My heart entwined, in your web of lies..
your fingers deep inside, my core on fire, aching , throbbing..
You held me tight, calling me baby baby baby , whispering sweet nothings " I will never leave you "
You were never mine .
You said to me one night " baby, who needs a relationship, all we need is one night " and then you left through the door, you left me in pieces, you took away my everything, you left me in the bed with your side frozen as the winters cold, you left me, feeling used , so used..once again

I looked back and knew , this would never end.. days later you walked in , I gave into you... Legs sprawled awaiting , impending thoughts in my subconscious : " will she touch me, her name in my mouth ready to be said, please touch me ****** "

This unrequited love : I am drowning but I cannot ******* die.
   I am trying so hard to reach for your hand , hold it against my heart and make it all okay.
I am trying with everything in me to get close enough to caress your cheek..
You were never mine and I was not granted the pleasure...
  
The aftermath of That One Night
The aftermath of The Unrequited love
- I cannot get you to love me, I cannot make myself stop loving you.

- M.V.M.M.X . BX
-catharsis . QM

As the world dissolves into the vanity,
the speech is slurred and he can't really pay attention.
His eyes can't cease to get a mention,birds twitter coz his voice sounds better when day ends.
I really can't say when,
but since then he's been trapped..inside his mind he lives in the Garden of Weeden.
Trapped trapped trapped inside the walls of his subconscious mind, the garden of weeden, his nirvana, safe haven. Smoke inhaled, never exhaling, hold on tight, fingers clenched until the burning sensation makes him pay attention, I am saved, the garden of weeden, my nirvana.
Nirvana took my bravado,
I know I got what fuckboys don't.
When vaporised my words make them choke,
loss of their greatest hopes for what's dope.
Freedom stays cloaked in corrogated iron sheets,in a deep sleep induced by so-called "sweet dreams",but he astrals through this dimension.

Dimentia came and so did Fester,
their brains can't seem to process the controversial words.

But he does,
coz he's just on the highest peak of consciousness.
At his highest peak of consciousness, his kundalini risen, chakra's in alignment, he saw it all, the lies, the truth every ******* thing so clear to him, overwhelming to say the least, cathartic, he became catharsis.

If we could withstand tremors then,
a woman can't split us in half.
In this situation we try to chase after what we both can't probably have,
or just enough for one and we can't really share.
I see your lust in your lengthy stares,
but atleast we could've prepared ourselves for what lay ahead..

I love you, she wrote on the tear stained paper, ink dripping, like the waterfall you , had created in her- heaven , trembling. My love is made for you. I cannot leave , I will not leave for once this love?...
This love Is not unrequited ..
my heart, truly entwined in your web of lies..
I am caught.. possessive? I am not. I will not keep you here. I will not keep you here while still trapped.. I cannot let you keep me here while you go on living or rather breathing...
I want to hold you like a willow in the wind...i want you to be still in my arms...
rock a bye baby .. this ? This right here is your cradle, lay in it..
my love for you is being tested...
I choose you. I choose you

I tried to find you but you hid behind a hideous facade of lies and heartache masked by debris of supposed happiness.
Were you heaven sent??
You were heavenly scented and it drove my nostrils on a frenzy like a day spent at FD's,
and I think Richard got a whiff too..

What's a whiff if I can't always have your scent laced to my nose hairs??
What's a thought if I can't have endless kisses from you,
how soon until I get to look at you without feeling guilty coz its rude to stare.
But in your eyes I find serenity..
So please just tell me,what's your name,Miss??

Serenity, in your eyes, found. Miss , tell me your name and grant me the pleasure of shouting it across the room with pleading eyes, an aching heart , believe me my core too...  I love you , I love you... Baby grant me the pleasure of whispering it in your left ear while I caress your right.. The right way.

letter to the night : child of the night I am not.
     she said ; " the problem with art is the artist "
     she said this and i began to think about how we as artists, myself as a poet, we tend to scribble words on paper, meaning one thing and then another and then everything and then nothing. we say things in a rather peculiar way and yet we yearn to be understood, when we ourselves cannot fathom what we've just let out into the world. i call this a cry for help..
      she said this and this made me think of all the letters titled " to the girl " as a poet i knew what i wanted to say, i had her reaction all planned out and ready when she couldn't understand, when her ability to respond failed her , i wrecked my brain and heart trying to find ways to get some sort of response reading in between lines that were not there at all.
Myself as the poet, i yearn to be understood because i myself do not...

    to the girl : bare with me, time is all i have. someday we'll sit back in our little bit of heaven and recall on all the ink stained papers and i will tell you all about how you had the ability to make created languages, codes , close to the morse than could not be understood by many.
    to the girl : whoever you are ? Someday you and i both will understand. the art will be deciphered and love will meet time and it'll be beautiful.

she only ever calls me pretty when she's inebriated
i think it's love
she doesn't
it's been three years
she doesn't think it's love
it's only ever been toxic
but still
she called me pretty
and I'll take it.
A thousand times, Yes
If she ever asks.

" do you know how dangerous it is to have a mind like yours and a soul like yours ? that **** will bring people to their knees "
Alexis-Rae said this to me 46weeks ago, just a little less then a year ago, thinking about her words and how positive and beautiful my words, my poetry was back then how I once had fallen for someone so deeply that she could do no wrong and she was every bit of the word serendipity, how I believed in balloons and all that really fairytale oriented analogies, I think of this and wonder where that person went, I see her in the mirror everyday when I wake up but she's hidden herself with a gray facade of hideous lies, she spews truth but wallows so deep into this new being she has become and has grown, she's grown enough to see and call out ******* as it comes her way but we always go back to what we're accustomed to and still I see the beauty in the girl I am so deeply in love with, I still think of her when I see flowers growing need I remind you it's winter and it's cold but the warmth emitted from her aura, the raw emotion she has brought to my life, baby i cannot and will not leave you, you may hurt me and i may say the wrong things at times but this ? us ? I'd like to believe that I still believe in forever , I believe in forever with you, this poem was supposed to be about me and how I've grown but you have become a part of me, a part of me I do not want to part with, if you were to walk away, I'd wither away and cease to exist, we're in a rocky place but I still believe in being the calm that comes after a storm, grant me the pleasure of being your cradle, you weren't there but rock-a-bye baby let me sing you a lullaby and lay your head on my chest and fall into a deep sleep where you wake and the first name you say is mine and I look into your eyes as if you were, you are the light, the light I want to fall into not the never ending abyss I've fallen into. I digress , I love you Reane, I love you...a thousand times I do. Alexis, thank you for the kind words.

to the girl:
        thinking about you hurts
             i don't like doing it anymore
           but how do i stray from what i
           am accustomed too.
         night time, eleven : eleven passed
         you're not the one i wish for..
         anymore.
      nor will i ever wish upon a star
      for another lover as if star crossed
      is what we are.

to the girl..
  my.. girl...

tell me what this is? is this the reality of what we've become ? what we're meant to be.
stargazing into infinity sounds like a cry for help than a romantic gesture shared between two lovers, star crossed..kept a part by time..
  I'd like to someday share this with you but i cannot fathom the mere thought of us being close together, in the same room hell even the same continent..
what have we become ?
is this love?
you can't call me baby.. because it's been years and I'm not her.
i can't hear you call me baby.. because I'm not her and somehow you've made me feel like " that girl " the one that's only worth something when it suits you best..
i flinch whenever you call me baby.. i can't breathe, sometimes i feel disgusted, like second grade crap because that's all I've been to you..
something's got to give.

to the girl:
        i don't think you understand
     how much of myself i gave to
    you.
        you were hurt, but i was too,
      i still am. you took everything
      from me and still I'd answer the
      phone if you were to ever call me.
   one would think that i would not care
    but who i am ? who i am today is partly because of you, i may not like it most days but i am a creditor and i give credit where it's due, you did not make me but you did something to me, i'd like to forget it all and forget you too, but you were art to me, the problem with the art is the artist, i fed your ego, i fed your demons i made it okay for you to step all over me one day and the next? I'd still let you myself see the beauty in your broken pieces and that too became art too me and you were the most precious thing to me.
to the girl: you were not at fault but i will not sit here and let you embody all parts of me and break me and call it art and still feed your being and make myself less of a person, i will not sit here feeling sorry for you or myself, i will not forget my worth or give myself up for you or any other either.
to the girl: i loved and lived for you but now ? It's time i started breathing on my own and just being comfortable in my own skin and being okay with my pain and not take on the pain of a thousand false lovers and preconceived ideas of what can and should be.
to the girl: this entry is more for all the girls and not just one specific being.
    i now know my worth..

where there's a flame..fire, someone is bound to get burnt
to the girl:
personifying fire as you, my flame.
    you started a fire and you left it in the heart of a person, you left the fire in me, you left it , you left it and you left it in a room filled with papers, papers filled with words, words written for you.
   I don't know how this works anymore, do you let someone in, do you allow them to be apart of you and leave with parts of you?
is it okay to just walk away from someone, without so much as a goodbye or an explanation as to why?
this may not have been your intention, but did i not mention that my heart has been torn? did i not vow to love you ? did you not promise to keep my heart safe as i promised to do with yours?
as i said, this night may not have been your intention but it's right before eleven and i am staring at the moon wondering if you are too? ******* ..I'm not..this is poetry..I'm sitting in this dark corner with this fire lit and i am crying over you.

i felt my heart break.
you were there
and you felt it too.
earthquakes beneath my skin,
tremors felt,
feared.
i posses the power of unruly waves, you've seen me shake.
All you have to do is hold me tight enough to keep my aching heart at bay.
Question existing:
is this the end..

A friend of the night I am not connected to the moon I am not. morning used to to be my time but the pain felt ten fold in this pulsating vein tells me , I no longer am a child of the night seeking happiness under the moonlight.

She's miles away from me and we're stargazing together, this is why she's it. The nothingness may consume me but she has it beat, can help but let in the warm feeling into my heart, I love you and i never want this to end. Don't leave me ?

I will love you till the end

she said: " there's no real peace in revenge. "
i could never hurt you like you hurt me.
i could never make the pain beautiful or seem like it is worth it either. 
 i love you.

Today marks the eighteenth,
I am smiling,
I miss you,
Believe me.
But you know me,
And,
Lit sticks
Of,
Marijuana

I have no desire to be rid of you
I have no desire to feel without you
I have no desire to throw away all your beautiful
I have no desire to try.
I have no desire to court you like I could, I have no desire to court you like you are worth it,
worth it? you are,
very much so
but you don't love me, atleast not like the days you finally said it to me.

I still feel you pushing away.
Say it to my face, because everything is lonely without a voice
I loved you to your face
Disrespect me and love me close
You have way too many names and I keep piling them on because I see you in everything.

Lit sticks of marijuana,
Held to my lips,
By my hand
Are now easier to bare
because I have nothing tying
My heart
To you.
Though I am still sad, I am not crying for you anymore and that is okay.

I'd give all i have
I'd give all i am, all my life and another and then more to be
Where i want to be
Whether it be with her
Whether it be where my mind is sound enough to silence the offbeat of my heart
Whether it be right here
Where i want to be is where i appreciate the moment with all i am
where i want to be is not where i am

I think too much
And you stay on my mind
So you know,
i think of you
-the plan was to stargaze the nights away, with you
now, i dont know, im proud, so very proud but shook because it's too soon to fallback and I'm writing this hesistantly because we're different people, i am who i am and this may not be the same to you.

I am flawed
I admit this but that was never the issue
...you were once able to kiss my scars and look at me like i was still perfect  and I could do the same, I would still do the same
...but the realness was just that, too ******* real for you and forever is now too much for you.

she told me:
        God is a black woman
   i was not thinking about you but i agreed.
she said:
      
She lives in North Africa,
     she doesn't age
       light reflects off of her skin.

i started thinking of you
AND now i miss you