It had been over a year since we had even been together the night you called to say I love you.
"I do still love you" became the rhythm my heart pounded to.
I felt light as a feather.
Yet it felt wrong.
And that's when I realized,
I no longer loved you.
I guess life is just
Funny that way.

I started smoking thinking I could burn you out of my throat, but now I watch the smoke coil and float. I'd never understood the phrase "gone up in smoke", but now it makes total sense. Here one moment gone the next, without a trace. We caught like a flame and went out just a quickly. Our romance was a slow burning candle, that one swift blow burned out. It's been a year and the smell of your cologne makes me look around the room for you. Even though I know you are no where to be found. A candle with a burnt out wick, wont relight no matter how hard you try, you just get burned.

"Fight for the things you want in life."
"Don't be afraid to climb that ladder."
"Don't give up on your dreams."

These are the things I was taught as a kid.

But, none of them prepared me for losing you.

The rules change when it concerns love.

"Stop fighting for someone who isn't there."
"Move on, you are only hurting yourself."
"There are other fish in the sea."

I know all the lines, read all the "get over him quick" books,
but I'm still stuck in the don't give up mentality I was taught as a kid.
I want to run up to you, and whisper "I love you"
I know it won't change a thing,
but I wish it would.

I "moved on".
Dated a great guy who respects me, understands me, cherishes me.
Never lets me go to bed angry, always communicates with me
(something you ****** at)
Yet his love isn't enough.

Maybe first loves never die,
and maybe that's my problem.
Or maybe I'm just a dreamer who never learned to get her head out of the clouds.

Some days I want to hate you,
Some days I want to love you,
Most days the thought of you just leaves a bitter taste where your lips used to be.