Need just one card
Then I could win
Flipping through the deck one more time.
But the Ace of Diamonds never surfaced.
Giving up, scrolling across the screen,
There it was! The card I had searched for
In front of me all the time.

I had lost big time in life.
Everything held as important was gone.
Wondering how to ever get it right
When I had tried so hard!
Letting go of everything
Sitting under the Banyan tree pondering......
My consciousness experienced Him.

An infinite God is not easily
Spotted from a finite perspective.
Especially since we have never
Known a moment of our existence without Him.
He is the big bang of all the multiple universes' out there.
He is endlessly smaller than any semi conductor findings.
His is a part of every thought within each of us.

Walking away from everything I held as important,
Wondering how life could be different,
Knowing that my efforts could always be thwarted.
Asking, "How can I get it right?"
Then and only then
Did I finally see the card always before me.
The one card I needed to win the game.

No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draw him,
and I will raise him on the last day. John 6: 44

Beloved, do not be surprised a trial by fire is occurring among you, as if something strange were happening to you. But rejoice to the extent that you share in the sufferings of Christ, so that when His glory is revealed you may also rejoice exultantly." 1 Peter 4: 12-13

*Jesus said to his disciples: "Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit."   John 12: 24

You asked her to describe herself. I can tell you.

She is daisy petals falling and the slipping on a wet leaf in autumn and putting on pajama pants and cotton candy as it melts and stepping into sunlight in the morning.

You are the cold slap of hitting the water and running your fingers through your hair when you wake up and taking a sip of too-hot tea and the feeling when you ski faster than you should and the brush of your pencil when it's at the softest, darkest angle that makes everything beautiful.

I am waking up warm in the middle of the night and the secret brush of fingers and lighting that strikes too close for comfort and cold cement under bare feet while it rains and the soft surreality of hair underwater.

Best are those whom you meet by chance
when you cared less and free from heart
everyone stood equal and no one apart
it was easy moving with flow with no draft

through the happy and through the sad
from chirpy loud to silence
you withstood by me
immense patience bottled inside you had

nothing did I leave to not turn you upset
out of mind and puzzled in my own quest
like a rock in cold and night
I am indebted with your gestures of not taking a flight

I have never seen discontentment in you
you had been so constant in my life
Words fall short to explain somethings
so I'll just say a Thanks to you



Manisha

How do you truly know if you had made a difference in the world.
It is not done through Financial wealth, but through tears that were shed.
To fully come into account that you are truly love here on the earth.
Is by ** w many people attend your funeral after you had die.
It is even more shown through the tears that been shed for you.
This now my fear is how you truly make a difference in this life.
Its by every single heart that you have been use by Christ to touch.
For even if you gave someone money here but is not loved by them.
Then in reality you have still not made a difference in their lives.
Only by making a difference in even just one person live here.
Then you know that you have been used by God to change this world.

Hearts are
Wild creatures,
That's why our ribs
Are  cages

i'm never gonna tell her
how i crave her fingers

i always catch myself
staring at her lips

there isn't one part of her
i don't desperately desire

and she looks so ******* good
with the lights on

i'm never gonna tell her
i'm in love

Your hands felt like magic in mine and it made me feel a thousand feelings and remember a million memories.
You whispered the words, "I miss this" in my ear and I agree.

I miss you yet you are sitting right beside me. I miss your smile yet I see it every day. I miss your laughter, your voice... **** I just miss you.
I miss you so ******* much, it hurts me so badly.

I am lost in a tornado of emotion.
Chin up, little girl.
No one said this will be easy.