In the glow of an intransigent moon,
she looked up at dull stars with a twinkling bitterness.

All she wanted was the sun.
She wanted endless yellows and reds.
Blues.
Greens.
Light to be shed upon her world.

But she was stuck under a film of grey.

And the night would not relent.

It is true that I have a lot to explain to you
So I shall start from the beginning
When I met you I knew we had something
The greed within was too much to keep in
So I told you
But now I wish I could take it all back
I never meant to hurt you
But all I did was hurt you
After I told you I felt better
I didn't have to hold the fire in anymore
And then I had a taste and it was amazing
There are no words to describe what I felt that first time
Much like all addictions I needed more
That's were it all went wrong
I couldn't not talk to you or see you
I became completely obsessed with you and the thought of us
I left my comfort and security and home for you
And I don't mean home as in a place to stay
I left the place I loved for you
I left her for you
I still can't believe I ever put her through that
As soon as I left I thought I had made the right choice
But I kept seeing how in pain she was and it hurt me
Its a whole different kind of pain you feel with your partner
Their pain becomes yours, and yours becomes theres
So intertwined you can't tell who's feeling what
That's when I knew
I never meant to cause such a mess
I'm not that girl
And I cant be that girl for you
"I have infinite tenderness for you"
But I don't think that I can see you for a while
That scares me sometimes though
What if one day I wake up and I don't remember you?
What if it happens to you?
But then this could just be a dream
I won't pretend like I know all the answers
All I wanted you to know was that This meant something to me
You meant something to me
"Im sorry it had to end like this"

Sink into me.
Use me
Abuse me
I don't care how you do me.
I'm here for you pleaser
And your pleaser only.
Own me
Take me
Any way you can have me.
I'm yours to keep
Till death
Do
Us
Part.

I walk a lonely road this day.
It's all in what I see;

Green trees,
Blue Sky,
Cotton ball clouds.

No one else I see.

A strawberry butterfly sees me.  
Can I have a ride on your shoulder,
Please?

For the longest time, She kept me company.

Without a word she flew away...

Copyright © Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.

I got the news 
the other day
that the angel of death
pulled you away
without any warning  
stripping you from my life
once i heard, i felt the pain 
My heart stabbed by a knife
I never got to say goodbye
To such a dear friend
I'm sorry I never got the chance
I never knew our last talk was the end
i know you are with me
i can feel your presence 
read this i hope you will
as you look down from the heavens
 
I wanted to thank you
for being a friendly face to see
how you were so happy
your soul seemed so free
whenever i was down
you were always there grinning
i can’t believe your smile is gone
something we’ll always be missing 
how bad i wish 
i can talk to you once again
to tell you how much i loved 
you for being my friend
ill never forget on halloween
you saved the good candy for us
how truly great of a person
is something we’ll always discuss
i know you are smiling 
In the clouds with the bird
wherever you are
from us i don’t think
you’ll ever be far
till we meet again
and we fly high in the sky
i hope you accept this 
as my final goodbye