I am scared that I am dying
I have fallen so far into fantasy
That I have forgotten how to come home
I have lost my way of being
I am so scared
So stitched and sealed
That I think I’ll bare my vulnerable
And you won’t remember how to see me
But I want to
****** I want to
I want to be here
I am trying so hard to be here
To stand here
Sit here
And feel something
But it isn't coming together for me
The shards are not piecing themselves together as they should
And I am busy remembering to forget the breakdown
I can’t pinpoint when it came to this
I don’t know how to relax enough to figure this out
I want to live in this life
Be in this lifetime
Find a reason to stay here
Because I am missing it
And it scares me
And I am sorry if you love me
But, it’s so hard to stay here.

your eyes used to remind me of how the sun bounces off of the lake when it was just about to set and it seemed like a kaleidoscope of blues was everywhere around me, engulfing me and making me feel calm, even in my darkest hour. your voice used to remind me of how when I look up at the night sky I can see a pattern in the stars that no one else around me could see so they said I was special and that I'll achieve things that nobody else could.
but now it's 4 am and I can't sleep because I can't erase the memory from my mind of your beautiful blue eyes turning into the color of your soul and your voice echoing that you lied about everything you've ever said especially the part of being in love with me.

I should've kissed you longer.
Then maybe you would've stayed.
Every time I'm next to you, my heart breaks all over again.

I should've kissed you longer.
But I didn't know it was our last.
Every time I see you talking about her, I physically feel the hurt on the inside.

I should've kissed you longer.
And maybe you'd still be mine.
Every time I think of you, I can't help but miss you more and more.

Come back to me.
I love you.

Sometimes I look at the veins
Sprawling through my arm
And down my wrist
I wonder how you
Got in there and
I wonder if
That's why
They're
Blue

A city carefully structured by words
Each and every letter is an addition to the colors which contribute to a priceless piece of art
Each and every building is a reflection of a memory eroded by time
Birth of a civilization conquered by the rhythm of synchronized heartbeats
Echoes of timid voices are heard within the silent street corners.

It is a paradise orchestrated by simple chords of acoustic guitars
Reality knows no limit
It appears to be a dream touched by perfection
Loneliness
As an inmate, guarded by the blissfulness of our imagination.
The stars twinkling peacefully
Leading broken souls into intoxicating emotions.

A city which lingers a scent of hope
A city carefully structured by words.

I want to tell you what I'm doing right now,
I miss the feeling you give me when you are around,
And how you understand me better
Than everyone else.
I want to tell you my
Mysteries,
Secrets I can't bear to
Hold on to any longer.
The dark threads of memory are slipping
From my clammy grasp.
I want to give you every poem,
So you could see my brokenness,
So you could teach me how to cope with pain.
I just don't want to spoil this feeling:
A blossoming friendship
In the heart of a rose.

I want to tell you,
But I won't.

Don't get me wrong--
I trust you.
I know you could hold a secret,
Treasure my heart.
I've already fallen for that.
Maybe it's me I need to trust more.
Maybe if I loved myself,
I would have a greater urge
To run to you,
To hide those precious moments,
So we could remember them together.
I don't think I've been in love before,
Somehow this is different
Than the other times I felt my heart
Find another friend.
Maybe you don't understand,
I know I don't,
But teach me how to get through this,
Teach me how to find love.